Bane's Adventure to the Fifth Wall
by Halestorming
Summary: Bane's back! And now he's kidnapping more characters and messing up every world he visits. Join Bane in his quest for the mystical Fifth Wall, in his attempt to come through to the real world! WARNING: Many characters will be harmed in the making of this Fanfic. ANOTHER WARNING: Characters may seem slightly OOC, but you would be too if you spent long enough with Bane. WHEE!
1. Chapter 0: The Adventure Begins!

_**Bane's Adventure to the Fifth Wall!**_

We begin our story on the docks of a Switzerland. Boats are lined at the harbor, transporting goods and people and other things of the like. A young man of age fifteen is walking through the crowded docks till he arrives at the end of a particular dock. Docked here is a strange black ship that has several holes in it, and ripped sails. Atop the mast waves a tattered flag with a bowl and a spoon on it. The young man wears a cloak that covers him from head to toe and even obscures his face. As he approaches the ship, he takes a small, folded piece of paper from his pocket and opens it to the size of a chess board.

"Well," he says, making a mark on a spot on the paper, "It ain't here." This young man's name is Bane. He is what is called an OC, or, 'Original Character'. An original character is a term used in the fanfiction world to mean "A character that an author has made, that is not normally in the fiction that their story is written about."

This young man is on a quest to find the legendary "Fifth Wall." What is this fifth wall? Well, let me start with its more widely known cousin, the fourth wall. That is the wall that separates the knowledge/existence of the real world and the fictional world. For example, If Mario (of Mario Bros.) were to say to Luigi 'Ya'know, when Link (of the Zelda series) saves Zelda, he gets all these cool weapons, a horse, and an epic boss fight, but I just get a pair of shoes, the occasional hammer, several mushrooms, a half-dozen battles with Bowser and his nieces and nephews, and a thank-you kiss from Peach. Where's-a the justice in that?' then he would be breaking the fourth wall by making a reference to the Legend of Zelda series, which he should not know about.

The Fifth Wall, however, is the last barrier between the fictional world and our world of reality, the laws of physics, and plumbing that doesn't teleport you to the Mushroom Kingdom. Once found and opened, the Fifth Wall can be used to bring a fictional character (such as Bane) into the real world, or vice-versa, bringing a person of our world (such as Justin Beaver, Selena Gomez, Jonny Depp) into the fictional world of video games, books, movies, and the like. IF the Fifth wall was ever found by the wrong person (Bowser, Ganondorf, Giovanni of Pokemon, Hitler, etc…) the events could be catastrophic. This is why the Fifth Wall was hidden; to prevent it from being found.

So far, Bane has searched this alternate, fictional Switzerland, an alternate Argentina, alternate California, and an alternate moon, and he is getting nowhere. Suddenly, Bane gets an idea. He heads off in his ship, to another world of fiction, to seek help in his quest.

***Another Strange Land, Where People Are Doing Things***

A young man of similar age to Bane sits atop a clock tower, eating ice cream. His sandy-blonde hair wavers in the light breeze. Sitting on his left is a young girl, about the same age as him. She has a contrasting shade of black hair that only reaches to her jaw. To his right is an older man, by about three years, with blindingly red hair spiked in many directions. These three wear cloaks in the same style as Bane's; black with hoods down and chains hanging from the front, near the neckline. Below the cloaks they wear black boots and their hands are covered by black gloves. As they sit, the boy with blonde hair, gives each of his friends an ice cream like his own. They take them and sit, enjoying the sunset.

"…Does this sun ever actually set?" the girl asked her friends.

"Not really," the oldest replies. "It just sits right there in the sky, looking pretty."

The blonde boy yawns and lies back on the tower's small balcony. "I wish something exciting would happen," he thinks out loud and closes his eyes. "Just something to stir things up, you know?"

Suddenly, a black pirate ship falls from the sky, crashing into the plaza down below the clock tower. Our startled trio looks down in shock, seeing the flag only feet from their faces. As they notice the bowl and spoon on it, the blonde one gets a bad feeling in his stomach, but they use portals of darkness to teleport down to the crash site anyways.

Once there, they look at the odd pirate ship that has suddenly crashed into their world. A young man concealed by a black cloak leaps from the ship and lands before the girl. He throws a sparkly, pink dust at her and she collapses into slumber on the ground. The redhead and blonde leap to her aid, summoning unusual weapons to fight off this mysterious invader with; the older, a pair of mainly red chakrams, and the younger, an odd, key-shaped weapon.

The young man throws more dust at the older one, leaving him unconscious, but realizes he has no more to use on the blonde, thus he goes for his other weapon: a large tuna! The blonde stands, speechless, as the man backhands him with the large fish. He quickly becomes more alert and starts to fight off his attacker, but is matched with each blow by the poisson-wielding fiend. Suddenly a frying pan falls from the sky and lands on the blonde man's head, making the trio fully unconscious.

The young man, being the only one awake, takes off his hood and reveals short, messy, black hair and pitch-black eyes. He nods at the job well done and uses a portal of darkness to drag his three captives through.

***At Bane's Cavernous, Lair-Like Place…***

The three heroes are unconscious and duct taped to dining chairs in a large, dark, dank, slightly morbid cavern. Bane sits on a large, blue sofa, waiting for their awakening. Suddenly, the blonde stirs, slowly raising his head and looking at his surroundings. As he spots Bane his eyes widen and narrow. "You," he nearly growls.

Bane raises his hand. "Sup, Roxy? Nice nap?" he calls with a smug smirk.

Roxas starts to get up, but realizes he's taped to the chair. "Let me out of here!" he demands.

"…Nah," Bane says as he flips through a magazine while watching TV.

"Let me out right now!" the taped duck (get it? Duct tape? Taped duck?) shouts, wiggling madly.

Bane yawns as the fiery redhead comes to. After a short moment to awaken, he shouts, "What the ruler with a waffle stapled to it is going on here!?" He then spots Bane. "Oh, you," he grumbles.

Bane nods at him. "Axel," he recognizes. "Good nap?"

Axel is ablaze, literally. The flames burn the duct tape and Axel is free. "…I'm gonna burn you!" he shouts, lunging at Bane. The black-haired boy jumps over Axel, then fires a blizzara spell at him, cooling his jets.

As Axel and Bane fight, the black-haired girl awakens. "Huh?" she asks, looking around in a daze. "Where am I?"

"Hey, Xion," Roxas (the blonde) greets her. "Bane came back and taped us to chairs, and now Axel and him are fighting."

Xion takes two seconds to take in the scene, and then screams at the top of her lungs, stopping the boys' battle. "BANE'S HERE!?" she screams. "I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A BAD DREAM!"

Bane takes the opportunity to drop kick Axel in the face, then turns to Xion. "I'm not just a dream; I'm the Bane of your life." Suddenly, Axel leaps up to slam a chakram into Bane's back with the flat side. "Dangit!" Bane shouts, quickly turning and giving Axel a mean right hook, knocking out the fire-fighter.

When he turns back to Roxas and Xion, however, they are gone, leaving only empty chairs and crispy duct tape. Bane turns his head about 46 degrees to the right and sees Roxas and Xion attempting to sneak out. "Braggarts!" he shouts, throwing a butter sock at the duo, and leaving them unconscious. As he notices that everyone is once again asleep, he sighs. "Well, back to eating carrots with bean dip," he says, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on.

Another hour or so and Roxas begins to awaken. At this point, Bane is asleep on the couch, muttering about the Olympics and kicking people's butts in water polo hockey-ball. The blonde Nobody quietly makes his move to the mouth of the cavern, but is stopped by a small army of living berries. The strawberry with a Napoleon-like hat stands at the head of the army and shouts, "Ballooooooon!" The berries charge and swiftly overtake the stunned Nobody, taping him to a chair once again. The berries then follow this by taping Axel and Xion to other chairs and leave, never to be seen again, until Batman appears.

Well, while you're trying to figure that one out, I'll move on with the story. Bane awakens and sees that the trio is once again taped to dining chairs. Bane stretches, yawns, then scratches his butt, and walks over to Roxas. "Ya'know," he starts. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're the most sensible one."

"HEY!" Axel shouts, wobbling in his chair (and apparently awake). "What about me?"

Bane raises an eyebrow. "Well, you just nearly erupted, so I'll go with no. And Xion is still asleep, so that," he turns to Roxas. "Just leaves you." Bane places his hand on Roxas' hair and ruffles it, further angering the blonde. "Here's the deal, shorty: I'm looking for something. The Fifth Wall. Ever heard of it?" Roxas shakes his head 'no', so Bane continues. "Good. The less you know, the better – for me, anyways. Now, all I require is some help finding the Fifth Wall. Help me locate it and you're free to go. Simple."

Roxas takes a moment to think over Bane's offer, then gives him a sly look. "And if I don't?"

Bane smirks and pulls out a small, metal box covered with yellow and black stripes, with a large red button on it. "You remember this thing, right Roxy?" he asks smugly.

Roxas' eyes widen in recognition and Axel faints at the sight of it. "You wouldn't dare," Roxas says, just a hint of fear showing. Bane hovers his thumb over the button, moving it closer and closer with each second. As Bane's thumb looks just about to hit it and Roxas' eye is twitching, someone screams. "Just do it, Roxas! I don't care what he wants, just give it to him!" Xion screams in a panic, trying to scoot her chair away (and apparently also awake).

Bane lifts and lowers his thumb just over the button and Roxas groans loudly. "Fine, we'll help you. Now put that thing away!"

Bane sighs and puts the button in his cloak pocket. "Aww, and I was hoping to have some fun," he grumbles as he cuts Roxas' tape off with a mainly black broadsword. He then does the same with Xion and Axel (the latter of whom is still unconscious). "Alright, first thing's first, we have to find the wall!"

"Isn't that the only thing we're doing?" Roxas asks. Bane whaps him on his head. "Hey! We never mentioned not hurting you!" he shouts, summoning his keyblade – Oblivion. Bane pulls out Roxas' Diary/Journal and holds his broadsword to it.

"One more move and the book gets it!" he threatens. 'The book' is Roxas' only copy of his journal, which holds all of his memories of his time at the organization with Axel an Xion, so, unfortunately, he is forced to lower his weapon and desummon it. "That's better. Now, my best bet is that there is a map to the Fifth Wall somewhere in this universe. Where? Well, that's where you guys come in. With your skill at reconnaissance, this should be as easy as about four hundred of your missions. Three-hundred fifty if you're lucky."

Axel wakes up and then faints again as Roxas and Xion's mouths hang open as Bane creates a dark corridor and motions for them to go through. First Roxas goes, giving Bane a scowl, followed by Axel, who is awakened by a smack to the head, who gives Bane a scowl, then Xion, who just walks through dully. Ban follows with a smug smirk as their quest begins.

_**OC Notes/**_** MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I, bane, have infiltrated Halestorming's account and posted the first chapter of my adventure! And if you like it he might post the others. So, review for me, my dear, deer, friends!**

…**No, Roxas, I didn't call them 'deers'… I DON'T CARE IF IT'S SPELLED WRONG! GHOST LIVER RULES AND TASTES LIKE HONEY!**


	2. Chapter 1: The First Chapter!

_**Bane's Adventure to the Fifth Wall!**_

**Chapter 1: The First Chapter!**

Bane and his less-than-enthusiastic partners exit a portal of darkness in another world. They are surrounded by tall trees on every side, and the air is thick with the smell of freshly fallen rain. The chirps of crickets, ribbits of frogs and caws of birds fill the air with their sounds. Suddenly, Axel cuts through the vines with his chakrams. "Stupid leaves," he mutters. "Why did we have to go to a forest?"

Roxas, Xion and Bane follow closely. "Well, first, they're vines, not leaves. Second, it's a jungle, not a forest. And, third, because I say so."

Axel turns to glare at Bane before continuing to cut through the foliage. They slowly make their way through the jungle, and eventually arrive at a small village. The village is filled with wooden huts and the smell of a flame burning somewhere. The quartet quickly notices that there is a fire around which people are eating and singing merrily. It is the later evening.

Axel steps forward and a branch snaps under his foot. All of the natives around the fire snap their heads at the group and stare for a moment. Fortunately, their response is a kind, friendly way of general greeting. And by 'kind', I mean harsh, by 'friendly', I mean violent, and by 'general greeting', I mean chasing them down for their food and cloaks. So, it translates into 'a harsh, violent way of chasing them down for their food and cloaks'. Much better, right?

Axel, Roxas and Bane scream as they run, while Xion saves her breath for running and quickly passes them. "Hey! What about us!?" Roxas screams.

"Every girl for herself!" Xion replies back, ducking into some nearby brush. She waits quietly until she can no longer hear the natives' running.

She slowly peeks out from the brush to see a group of natives have surrounded her and also have Bane, Roxas and Axel caught upside-down in a palm tree. "I really have no idea how this happened," Bane comments as the natives take them back to their huts.

At the village, Bane, Roxas, Axel and Xion are tied to a stake in the ground as wild natives dance around them in war paint and tribal masks. Roxas and Axel struggle in their bonds, but Bane and Xion decide to do something better with their time. With their hands sticking out under the ropes, they play a version of 'rock-paper-scissors'.

"1-2-3-shoot!" they shout in unison, showing their hand symbols at the same time. "Hah! Fire beats blizzard!" Xion declares smugly.

Bane looks from his hand to Xion's and glares at the girl who shares his hair color. "I demand a do-over!" he demands. Suddenly, all of the natives shout in a loud, shrill call. They then approach the group with their spears thrust forward and very close to our heroes. Is this the end? Will our heroes survive this horrible fate? Tune in next week, for the exciting conclu-… What? We're not stopping? Oh, good; I wanted to see what happens next.

Suddenly, Bane snaps his fingers and a broadsword appears in his hand. In an amazing feat of magic, it transforms by folding and shifting into a gun-like thingy! He shoots a dark, misty red crystal at a nearby hut and it catches fire. As the natives scream and attempt to save their hut, Bane uses his gun-sword (which quickly reverts into a sword) to cut their bindings loose.

"Come with me if you want to live!" Bane screams at the top of his lungs, which might not have been the brightest idea, since the natives have doused the flames and are now staring at them. "…Vamanos, vamanos, arriba, arriba!" he shouts, running away like a speedy cartoon mouse. The others soon follow and they are now running through the jungle – cutting down anything in their way – from angry natives who want hot, leather cloaks in a hot, humid rainforest, for no real reason.

Quickly, Bane opens a corridor of darkness to get them away and they escape into a world known as Traverse Town. Having all tripped over Bane and fallen to the ground, they get up and dust themselves off. "Okay," Bane begins, cracking a bone (or several) in his spine. "It's not in The Jungle of the Cannibals."

Roxas, Xion and Axel glare at him. "You seriously took us to a place _named_ The Jungle of the Cannibals!?" Axel screams, becoming aflame. Bane shrugs, making Axel scream with rage and leap at the OC.

Bane backflips away and puts his hands up defensively. "Okay, okay, I'll save the most dangerous-looking places for last, alright?" With a unanimous agreement, and Axel being incapacitated by a frying pan from the sky, our heroes decide to explore Traverse Town in their search for the Fifth Wall.

They soon come upon Gepetto's house and decide to venture inside, Roxas volunteering to stay behind and watch the unconscious Axel. Inside the cozy home, Gepetto is hard at work making puppets while Pinnochio (still a wooden puppet, mind you) is playing with Figaro. "Oh, hello!" Gepetto greets them. "Welcome! What are your names, strangely clothed guests?"

Bane and Xion take a moment to self-consciously examine their cloaks, then turn back to the old man. "I'm Bane," Bane introduces. "And she's Xion. It's not pronounced 'Zion', it's like a 'shh' sound; like 'Shion'." Once that over-explained pronunciation lesson was over, Gepetto offers them some soup as they sit by a fire.

"So, where are you two headed for, so late in the day?" Gepetto asks as Figaro and Pinocchio are asleep on the floor. "It's getting very cold outside."

Bane leans back in his wooden chair and sips some soup from his bowl. "We are looking for a door, my soup-making friend," he sighs contentedly. "The door…" He leaps onto a table. "To freedom!"

Gepetto, Xion, and the now-awakened Pinocchio and Figaro are now staring at Bane as he stands atop the table and does a pose. "…I've seen weirder," Gepetto finally comments, going back to his soup.

Bane falls off of the table and stares, wide-eyed, at the puppetmaker's remark. "Like what?" Xion questions disbelievingly.

Gepetto shrugs. "The inside of a whale, a walking, talking dog, a magical duck, spaceships, a needle winking its eye, a puppet come to life, and a talking cricket, for starters," he explains rather nonchalantly.

Upon seeing Bane and Xion's shocked expressions, he attempts to calm them. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Please, have some more soup." With that he refills their bowls and they sip.

"By the way," Bane asks between slurps. "What kind of soup is this?"

"I don't know," Gepetto replies. "Pinocchio made it." Bane and Xion slowly turn to look at Pinocchio, who is playing with some weeds and bugs. The two turn green and quickly run from the house, leaving their soup.

"That was odd," Gepetto says as he sips some more soup. "Mmmm! Pinocchio, what is in this soup? It's delicious!"

Pinocchio tossed Figaro some of the catnip and walked over to his father. "Oh, I got some vegetables from town, father."

"Pinocchio," Gepetto starts sternly. "I didn't give you any money this morning, when you went out. How did you get these vegetables?"

Pinocchio stammers for a moment. "Umm, I found some money on the street!" he decides. Suddenly, his wooden nose grows a few inches longer. Gepetto shakes his head and goes to stir the soup pot.

Outside, Bane and Xion grab Roxas and Axel respectively (Bane dragging Roxas over a few rocks in the process), and pull them to the Third District and into the green-wallpapered building. Once inside, Bane locks the door and they take a minute to catch their breath…mostly.

"What the Queen of Hearts was that!?" Roxas shouts angrily, picking some pebbles out of his hair. "You dragged me over rocks that weren't even in your way!"

Bane shrugs. "I guess Storm was right. I do have a personal vendetta against you."

"I think Roxas said that, actually," Axel interjects. "During the Halloween thing."

"Oh, right," Bane remembers. He then chuckles viciously. "Barney," he mumbles, letting out more giggles.

Roxas' hand is now shaking as he lunges at Bane, who simply raises a barrier to block him. Roxas comically smacks into the invisible wall and slowly slides down, onto the floor. "You know," Bane says as he pulls a bottle of water out from under the chair he is sitting on. "I think an actual battle between me and you would be pretty epic. I really do." He gulps some water down, gets up, and stretches. "Alright, who's ready to go to the next world?"

"WHAT!?" the trio shouts.

"But we haven't eaten!" Xion protests.

"I haven't had any water in hours!" Roxas argues.

"My hair's starting to droop!" Axel whines. "And I don't even use hair gel, it just changes with my attitude and… HEY!" Axel shouts, suddenly enraged. "You cut off one of my spikes a while ago!"

Bane's eyes widen and he runs upon Axel's remembrance, immediately heading through a dark portal. Axel follows in a blind rage, leaving two shocked teens.

Roxas starts to talk. "…Did he actually-"

"Yup," Xion finishes.

"But when did-"

"The big chase scene."

"How do you-"

"I'll never tell," Xion finishes smugly. With that victory in her pocket, she walks through the portal, Roxas following with a pout.

***In Some World That Was Lower On Bane's 'Dangerous Worlds' List Than The First One***

Bane runs out of a portal, emerging onto chimney-capped rooftops and hides inside a chimney. Axel quickly follows out of the same portal and searches the rooftops for Bane. Roxas and Xion follow in a more relaxed fashion. "Yes," Xion says to Roxas as the portal closes. "I do."

Roxas shrugs. "Fine, your opinion," he replies.

Axel turns to the duo. "Ya'know, I'm actually curious of what that was about," he says, unsummoning his chakrams.

Bane pokes his head out of a chimney. "Me too," he adds, quickly ducking back in. Axel rushes to the chimney and blasts fire down it. He peers in and is met with a blast of smoke to the face. Roxas and Xion laugh as a penguin flies overhead…

Bane jumps out of a different chimney – a scream being heard from below – and dusts himself off (very poorly). "Well, time to be moving along, as that rabbit says," he says, walking across the rooftops. After Roxas convinces Axel to hold himself back, the trio follows.

Very soon, our band of freaks arrives at a chimney…while they are walking on rooftops…with several other chimneys poking out…yep. "Okay, we're here," Bane says, plugging his nose and cannonballing into the chimney.

Our trio stares until Roxas decides to speak up. "…Did he really-"

"Yup," Xion finished.

"But, why-"

"Who knows?"

"Seriously, how do-"

"My secrets are secret, that's all I must say." And with that remark out of the way, Xion jumps down the chimney after Bane.

Roxas sighs. "I'll never understand girls," he complains.

Axel places a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, buddy," he says comfortingly. "If it helps, you don't really understand guys either." Then Axel quickly jumps down the chimney.

"…WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?" Roxas shouts, leaping headfirst into the chimney after Axel, who used a fire spell after exiting the chimney… Oh, my.

Roxas rolls out of the chimney, set aflame. Bane quickly grabs a small glass and throws it at Roxas. The glass, however, was empty. "HELP ME!" Roxas screams, rolling around on the floor.

Xion quickly uses an Aquira spell, dousing Roxas and the flame. Roxas spits out some water, and a fish. "…Thanks," he says after a moment, pulling another fish out of his mouth. "…Does that spell even involve fish? At all?" Xion shrugs as Bane is nowhere to be found.

"Hey, where's Bane?" Axel asks, looking around. "Is he gone?" he asks hopefully.

Bane walks in from the kitchen, food in hand. Axel, Xion and Roxas pout. "What?" Bane asks, laying the food out on the table, which includes chicken, ham, fries (or chips for you delightful British lot), mashed potatoes, pizza, bread and a pitcher of water. "You said you wanted food, right?" At those words, they devour the entire spread, leaving only the bone from the ham. "…Where are the chicken bones? …And the pitcher?" Roxas reluctantly gives back the pitcher, but the bones are nowhere to be found, until-

"I burned them," Axel explains.

"Why?" Bane asks.

"Probably for fun," Roxas replies.

"Yup," Axel confirms.

"Are we talking too much?" Xion questions.

"Nah, he's just trying out a bit he thought up," Bane predicts.

"Can we go?" Roxas inquires.

"Ooh! 'Inquires.' That's a good one," Bane compliments.

"Who are you talking to?" Axel suspects.

"Okay, the well's run dry. Let's go, folks," Bane killjoys. "Hey!" Bane whines. "I ain't whinin'!" Bane degrammers. "…You win," Bane concedes… :D

"Where to?" Roxas asks as they exit the house.

Bane opens a corridor of darkness. "To a world that each and every one of you has been before." His words put them at ease and they all enter the portal. "…More or less," Bane adds, following as the portal closes.

**Yes, Bane's lunacy lives on… Don't ask why. Please. I'd have an easier time of getting a camel through the eye of a needle.**

**Bane: Yes, you would. Now can I have some wings?**

…**Maybe. Let's go!**


	3. Chapter 2:A Chapter Unlike any Before It

_**Bane's Adventure to the Fifth Wall!**_

**Chapter 2: A Chapter Unlike Any Before Its Time!**

_Uploaded December 21__st__, 2012 (It's the end of the world!)_

Bane walks out of the portal, into another world of cool things and enjoyable discoveries…more or less. "Hey!" Axel shouts.

Bane turns to him. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?" Bane asks very slowly.

Axel fumes (literally). "After all that we've been through, **so far**, you lied to us?" Axel asks.

Bane shrugs. "No. You have been here. _And_, Roxas and Xion are kind of parts of Sora, so since Sora has been here, they have been here." Bane takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He looks around at his surroundings and finds peace in them.

"Exactly where are we?" Roxas asks as he looks around. The buildings around him are bustling with activity as he examines the marketplace of Radiant Garden (originally also known as Radiant Garden, then later known as Hollow Bastion, and then going back to Radiant Garden).

"Radiant garden!" Bane announces excitedly. "The place where dreams come-… Oh, wait, that's a different place."

Xion stretches and yawns. "Can we sleep here?" she asks tiredly.

"NO!" Bane shouts, rattling the world.

"…Please?" Xion adds weakly, her friends having been slammed into a wall by the outburst.

"Oh! Well, since you put it like that, HECK NO!" Bane responds, breaking some glass windows nearby.

"Hey!" Bane turns to acknowledge the new voice that shouted 'hey'. "Keep it down out here!" It's Leon, the local…what _does_ he do? "We're trying to take care of some things."

Bane and Xion cock their heads to the side. "Like what?" they ask in unison.

Leon looks form one to the other. "Have I seen you two before?" he asks.

"Nope," Xion answers.

Bane, however, quickly runs away, shouting, "I didn't do it!"

Leon looks confused, and then his eyes widen and he screams "You!" then draws his gunsword and runs after the strange OC.

Our trio simply watches in confusion as Leon chases Bane through the town. "…Wanna go find a place to stay?" Xion asks her friends.

Axel shrugs. "I know a good place." Roxas and Xion look at him questioningly. "What? I did spend the younger part of my life here. Follow me." They're off to see the innkeeper, the wonderful keeper of inns.

***Back With Bane And Leon, His Pursuer***

Bane is running fast on the tips of his toes. Leon, however, is running even faster on his feet. "Why am I running like this?" Bane asks himself as Leon tackles him to the ground.

"You!" Leon shouts again.

"Is that all you say?" Bane asks, using a teleport spell to teleport away, onto a nearby balcony.

Leon quickly spots Bane. "You're the one who blew up my home last Thursday!" he accuses.

Bane claps with overwhelming lackluster. "Oh, bravo, dear Leonhart, bravo," he congratulates with equal zeal. "And did you figure that out all on your own?"

Leon shoots several rounds at Bane, which the OC avoids by the skin of his cloak. "Hey!" Bane shouts, checking a ripped edge of his cloak. "I paid two easy payments of $79.95 for this thing!" Bane whips out his swords and transforms them into guns once more, then lets loose a barrage of fire crystals.

Leon begins running jumping and ducking to avoid the shots. Unfortunately, as he jumps, his face collides with a nearby overhang. "…Meh," Bane comments, walking away from the bruised Leon… You _did_ notice that I didn't mention the word 'unconscious', right?

Leon gets up and swiftly shoots a fira spell at Bane, hitting him squarely in the back. Leon then runs at Bane, jumping up to the balcony. When he arrives, however, Bane is gone.

***Once More, We Go To Our Heroic Nobodies***

Axel, Roxas and Xion sleep peacefully as Bane corridors (that is a verb now) into their rented room at the inn. He observes their peaceful faces and smiles. "…We need more people," he says. However, he says it in a voice loud enough to wake the dead (or Axel, on a good night). The three teen-like Nobodies rise immediately, but in different fashions. Axel falls off the bed, Xion Shrieks and jumps up, and Roxas rises from the bed like a vampire from his coffin.

"What?" Roxas asks acidly.

Bane shrugs and yawns. "I need someone else to bug," he suggests half-heartedly. "Namine?"

"I wouldn't," Xion answers, getting out of bed as Axel snores from the floor. "She can be pretty scary when she wants to be."

"Namine? Scary?" Bane asks in disbelief. "Please, she couldn't-" Bane stops as a paper ball hits him from the window. He looks outside, but sees no one. Meanwhile, Roxas has picked up an opened the ball of paper.

"Umm, Bane?" Roxas hands him the paper.

Bane scans the paper, which is a crude drawing of himself being attacked by a giant heartless. Bane pales, then recrumples the paper and throws it out the window. "Moving on," Bane continues. "How about Sora?"

"Nope," Roxas replies, waking Axel with his foot. "He'd have too much fun with it."

"…And you're against fun?" Bane asks as Axel groggily gets up.

"What about Riku?" Axel suggests. "Quick question though; what am I suggesting Riku for, exactly?"

Bane gains a wide smirk. "Riku," he mulls it over. "Riku… RIKU!" And with that, he is off to places unknown.

***Places Unknown – AKA – Destiny Islands***

Bane appears from a portal of darkness and sees Riku nearby, skipping rocks along the ocean's surface. Bane creeps up behind the unsuspecting- "I can tell you're there," Riku interrupts the narration… Wait, can he do that?

Riku calmly summons his keyblade and points it behind him. "Either tell me your name or I fire. Three…"

"MY NAME IS BANE!" Bane screams in fear, hiding behind some nearby shrubbery.

Riku turns and spots the OC. "You!" Riku shouts standing to face the black-cloaked teen. "You're the one who helped that author kidnap us, aren't you?"

"…Talk about a dumb question," Bane comments, getting up. "Wait a second; didn't Storm convince you guys that that was a dream?"

Riku glares more intensely at the Bane. "Yeah, that worked for a couple of days," Riku said, pulling out his phone. "Until we saw this!" He holds up his phone, showing a picture of Riku in a pink dress (this is explained in my other story).

Bane chuckles lightly. "Oh yeah," he says. "That was funny."

Riku growls and throws a firaga spell at Bane, which the jerk neatly dodges. "I am not a jerk!" Bane yells at the narrator… What do these people have against me today?

As Riku and Bane continue to struggle, the trio of Nobodies enters the scene via a corridor of darkness. Roxas stares at the scene as you read this sentence. "Should we help?" he asks his friends.

"Yep," Axel replies, shooting fire at Bane.

"…I meant, should we help Bane," Roxas corrects. "Although…"

"Roxas, I still have your journal!" Bane shouts, dodging fire and dark fire spells. "So, help me or I use the book for a shield!"

At that, Roxas leaped into action, fending off Riku, keyblade-to-keyblade. "Please," Riku scoffs. "I already beat you once."

"Ha!" Roxas shouts, blocking an uppercut. "When did you beat me? All I recall is kicking your butt from here to Notre Dame!"

"Actually, it's called Le Cite de Cloche," Axel corrects, reading the KH3D guide book. "Ooh! I'm in this one!" Suddenly, frying pans rain from the sky, knocking out everyone but Bane. Shortly after, a grey-cloaked man with a black bodysuit enters the scene. There are blue glowing lines on his suit in odd shapes and designs and his hands are covered with silver, metal claw-like gauntlets that spark slightly.

"Evenin', Grey," Bane greets. "And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Grey, the cloaked man, grabs the guide book from Axel and fries it with a lightning spell. "Storm doesn't want them to break the fourth wall any more than-"

"Dude!" Bane interrupts, laughing hysterically. "This whole story breaks the fourth wall! What the heck could he want to prevent?"

Grey groans. "Believe me, there isn't much. But, he does not want them to learn that they're video game characters. And, Axel-"

"Was about to find out," Bane finishes. "I got it, I got it," he says, walking over to Riku and throwing him into the sea.

"…Weren't you going to kidnap him?" Grey asks as Riku flails in the water from the shock of waking in the middle of the ocean.

"Nah," Bane answers, opening a corridor of darkness. "Besides, it's time for lunch." He grabs Roxas and Axel and throws them in then opens a corridor directly under Xion, which she falls into. "Gotta go. Tell Storm I said 'golfball!'" And Bane leaves.

"…I don't get paid enough for this," Grey mumbles as he leaves via a flash of gray lightning.

***Somewhere Else…Yep, That's All Yer' Gettin'. Now, Git Back To The Story!***

Axel, Roxas and Xion are lying on a carpeted floor as they awaken. "What just happened?" Axel asks as he starts to get up.

"I don't know, but I blame Bane," Roxas says grumpily. Said captor is currently brushing his teeth before a nearby mirror.

Roxas motions for Xion and Axel to 'Shh!' and tiptoes up behind him. "…You know, you can't sneak up on a guy that's looking in a mirror," Bane informs him, gargling, turning around, then spitting on Roxas' hair.

Roxas' left eye twitches and he jumps at Bane, attempting to strangle the OC. Bane quickly leaps away and opens a dark corridor. "Free food!" he shouts as he runs through.

Our three 'captives' pause and exchange some looks then follow the mad man to the free food…Is anyone else detecting something…fishy?

***Yet Again, We're Going Somewhere Else To Follow Our Mad Crew Of Idiots. Shall We?***

Bane runs out at Papa John Smith's Pizzeria. He quickly grabs a table and awaits his…friends? Assistants? …other people? No, wait, they're Nobodies…Oh, forget it.

Roxas, Axel and that other one run out of the portal and join Bane at the table (Axel sitting beside Roxas to attempt to keep him calm, and to keep him from killing Bane).

The waiter walks up to their table and holds a pencil and pad. "Welcome to Papa John Smith's, where our motto is 'We've got a topping for all the colors of the wind!' May I take your order?"

Axel looks over the menu and turns to the waiter. "I have a question about the menu," he says.

The waiter nods. "Go ahead, ask away," he says.

Axel points to a spot on the menu. "Exactly what 'color of the wind' is anchovies?"

"Negative blue!" the young teen answers enthusiastically.

"…Seriously?" Xion asks with a cocked eyebrow. "What the hairball is a 'negative blue'?"

"Oh, everyone asks that," the teen answers.

"…Well?" Roxas pushes. "What is it?"

"I have no idea," he says, lifting his pencil. "May I take your order?"

"…Sure." Roxas surrenders the point. "Umm, Xion, you wanna split a pepperoni?" Xion nods. "A medium pepper-"

"LARGE," Xion corrects voraciously.

"A _large_ pepperoni pizza," Roxas quickly agrees. "Axel?"

Axel yawns. "A medium with pepperoni, Italian sausage, bacon, red pepper flakes, pineapple, jalapeno rings, ghost pepper juice, hot sauce and onions. Oh, and some breadsticks," he adds as an afterthought.

The teen blinks slowly and writes down two quick scribbles. "And you?" he asks Bane.

Bane shrugs and yawns. "Just get me my usual, Jimmy-boy," he replies, throwing the menu out the window and hitting a tree-rat (AKA: a gerbil).

Jimmy nods and flips the papers of his notebooklet. "Okay, one large pepperoni, one heat-lovers special, and a trout-and-mango pizza, right?"

Upon hearing Bane's order, the trio gives him 'seriously?' looks. "I have an acquired taste," he explains sleepily. "I'm tired. Pizzas, Jimmy!" Jimmy runs to get the pizzas, for he has made Bane wait before. Oh yes, he has. There was much suffering and cheese and assorted toppings were on the walls. Many men had pepperoni shoved up their noses. It was really something that should have been put on YouTube.

Their pizza is brought post-haste and they begin to eat it up. "Well," Bane begins. "I'm a bit sleepy, so I'm gonna nap while you guys decide where to go next, kay?" Before the others can answer, he instantly falls asleep.

"…How does he do all this?" Axel asks, eating his steaming pizza.

Roxas shrugs lazily. "Who knows? On a better note, who cares?" He takes a bite of his and Xion's pizza.

"My pizza!" Xion shouts, taking five slices of the Italian food-thing. "And I think we should go to Olympus."

"NO!" Roxas and Axel shout in unison. "If we go there, Bane'll probably make us fight the titans!" Axel says in a panic.

"Okay," Xion replies, attempting to think of a 'safe' world, if such a thing existed. "How about Le Cite de Cloche?"

"Where'd you here that name?" Axel asks, an odd feeling of déjà vu dawning on him.

"No clue," Xion replies. "But what do you think?"

"Nope," Roxas replies. "I hear they invented something called a 'guillotine' in that world."

"What's a guillotine?" Xion asks, taking a leftover slice of Bane's pizza.

"Let's just say that Bane could put it to good use," Roxas replies, rubbing his neck self-consciously. "…Are you seriously eating that!?" Roxas shouts as Xion takes another slice of Bane's pizza.

The onyx-haired Nobody shrugs. "It's not half-bad," she replies, about to take the last slice.

As her hand reaches the pizza slice, Bane suddenly jumps up and stabs a fork between two of her fingers. "…My pizza bubble…" Bane mumbles, taking the last slice and eating it whole before falling asleep again, accompanied by loud snores.

The trio quietly waits until they're sure Bane's asleep, and then Axel slowly pulls the fork out of the table, revealing four perfectly square, deep holes. "…How about Captain Hook's ship?" Axel asks his friends.

They give him an 'are you crazy!?' look. "Just hear me out," he asks. "If we're on a pirate ship, Bane'll be having way too much fun to ruin our lives, and that might just be our best chance to escape and get help."

"From who?" Roxas asks. "When you're in a story being written by a crazy author, and his OC is the one after you, there isn't too much you can do about it." **He's right, but I think I'll give them a fair shot at escape some time… maybe… eventually…**

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Axel asks as Bane gargles and spits on a spoon.

"I'M ALIIIIVE!" Bane shouts randomly. He sees that his group is not even surprised by this and frowns. "Oh great, you're already used to me?"

"No," Roxas replies. "That just wasn't your best work."

Bane is about to yell at him, but stops and shrugs. "Eh, that's true," he agrees. "So, have you picked a world yet?"

They begin to sweat and Bane smirks. "Ooh, I was hopin' you wouldn't," he says with glee… Bane should never be gleeful. "Well, I have a few suggestions," he says, picking up a book titled 'four-thousand terrible worlds with evil residents and mad commoners'.

"Captain Hook's Ship!" Roxas blurts out.

Bane sighs and throws his book out the window, hitting a patron-to-be. "Ah, well," he sighs again. "Maybe next time. To the piratey ship!" And thus, Bane opens a portal to another world, where more crazy, zany things GHOUL!

…Yes, people are weirded out when a sentence doesn't end the way they lick their foot.

**Bane: If you are reading this on Dec. 22****nd****, after the world has ended, you are permitted to say 'I told you so'. For those who are still alive because the reason the Mayan calendar ends on this date is that they ran out of space on the rock or possibly took a cookie break, you may say 'HA!' and review my awesome story.**

**Well put, my friend. Well put. Also, for those of you who read my pokemon story: **_**Storm in Kenewyore**_**, the next chapter'll be up soon; I just need to do something and am feverishly writing to post this thing up.**

**Baen: Yeah. He's in such a hurry, he misspelled my name. Bye, folks!**

…**Folks?**

**Bane: …You had time to ask **_**that**_**?**


	4. Chapter 3: A Shipfull of Somthing!

_**Bane's Adventure to the Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 3: A Ship Full of Something!**

_Uploaded December 29__th__, 2012 (Since I won't post another of these before then: Happy New Year to all!)_

On the decks of Captain Hook's Ship, the good captain is strolling along, ensuring that all is ship-shape. "Tighten the rigging!" he shouts to a crewman. "Swab the decks, you swabs!"

"Cap'n!" A stumpy man calls as he runs over to the Captain.

"What is it, Mr. Smee?" the captain asks.

"There's something I think you should see." The captain follows Mr. Smee to one side of the ship's deck. The captain produces a telescope, lengthens it and peers out to sea.

Far away, a black galleon is spotted, with tattered sails and holes throughout. Aboard, the captain can barely see a few people in black coats spastically rushing aboard the vessel. The notorious Captain Hook laughs as he lowers the scope. "Ah, Smee, take a look!" he instructs the crewman as he hands him his scope.

"A galleon crewed by only three people, Cap'n?" Smee asks. "Very unusual."

"It's a wonder they even made it off the docks!" Hook comments, walking back to the wheel. "Though, if they get closer, do alert me, Smee. A vessel like that would be of great value to me."

"Yes, Cap'n," Smee replies, looking at the flag through the telescope, which has a bowl and spoon on it.

Onboard the black galleon, three landlubber swabbies bustle back-and-forth in a half-hearted attempt to manage the mighty ship. "On deck, ya' bilge rats!" the captain shouts, and the crewmen (and one crewwoman) stand before him. "Alright, ya landlubbers! Listen up! We'll be swerving at Hook's ship in about three minutes. Once close enough, we open fire! Roxas! You and ye'r samurais will man the cannons! Axel! Have ye'r assassins search Hook's ship fer any treasure and haul it aboard the Gullible Buffalo, while you steer it! Xion!"

"Gullible Buffalo?" Roxas interrupts.

The captain leaps to the deck and glares at Roxas. "Do you want to walk the plank, boy!?" he shouts.

"No, Captain Bane, Sir!" Roxas replies in a shout.

Bane slaps him. "Don't shout at me, boy!" he yells, walking up the wall, to the wheel. "Now, Xion!" Xion stiffens her stance. "You will either come with me, into Hook's lower decks, or you will be the distraction! Which is it?"

"…I choose distractio-"

"The lower decks of Hook's ship it is!" Bane shouts. "Any problem, miss Xion?"

Xion shrugs and Bane leaps, punches Roxas in the face, then backflips into his quarters, closing the door behind him.

"OW!" Roxas yells, holding his nose. "Seriously, what did I ever do to him!?"

Axel sighs, putting his arm around Xion. "You know, you probably should've been expecting that," he tells her.

Xion nods, removing Axel's arm from her shoulder. "I was. I figured it was better than being a distraction because he's probably given himself the safest position of all." Axel and Roxas are shocked by this news, which actually does make sense. "But, you know, I'm sure you guys'll be fine, too… more or less… Bye!"

With that, the black-haired Nobody runs into Bane's quarters. "…Why didn't we think of that?" Axel asks his companion.

"Because Bane hates me and you hate Bane," Roxas replies, summoning a few Samurais to prepare the cannons. "I think Xion and him actually get along fairly well."

Axel contemplates this, then a lightbulb appears over his head. "Whart the Walrus?" Axel says, looking at the lightbulb.

"Whart?" Roxas asks, stopping what he's doing. "What does that mean?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just looking through this lightbulb and saw an old friend. Hey, Whart! Wassup, buddy?" Roxas looks out to sea to see a large, blue walrus with a tiny mustache and long, yellow beard. The walrus waves, then flies away with tiny butterfly wings.

"…I haven't seen anything like that since… Well, since the last time I was stuck with Bane," the blonde admits, tying off the rigging. "Well, the rigging's tied; now what?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm learning how to speak pirate," Axel says, showing his friend a copy of the first 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie. "I think it'll help in the long run."

"…Mind if I watch with you?" And so, the two friends went to watch their movie…until they realize there's no TV onboard. "Dang it!"

***With Bane And Xion, In Bane's Quarters…Or Perhaps His Dimes…***

Xion runs through the door and shuts it quickly. Bane looks up from his banana and burps loudly. "Hey, what's up?" he asks, taking another bite.

"Oh, not much," Xion replies. "Just taking a walk, looking for a snack, got captured by a nut a while back; you know, the usual."

Bane gestures oddly at a chair and it vanishes. "…Well, I was gonna say 'have a seat,' but it seems the chair disagrees," Bane comments. "Oh, just pick another."

Xion sits at the far end of the long table. The room really isn't that much. If you look at it, it's just wood, with a round counter all about and one long table with several seats surrounding it. Oh, and a bubble on a pedestal in the background.

"So, my raven-haired companion," Bane begins. "Do you want some food?" Xion's eyes bulge. "Ahh, I see you do." He smirks and pulls a bowl from behind him. As the ship hits a small wave, he lets go, allowing the bowl to slide over to Xion. "Have some; please."

Xion catches the bowl and looks in. Inside is a variety of candies and snacks. As the Nobody looks at the candy, another wave hits, shoving the bowl out of Xion's hand and pushing it back to Bane. Xion glares at the OC and sighs. "What do you want?"

Bane gives her a confused look. "The Fifth Wall," he replies. "I told you guys that. Anyways, what I want now is your word."

Xion lifts an eyebrow. "My word?"

"Yep," Bane says, standing up and walking around the table. "I want your word, that until I find the Fifth Wall, you will help me. In return, you shall be given a tremendous reward."

"Like what?" Xion asks, leaning back in her seat.

"I shall allow you to come into the real world with me," Bane offers, sitting in the seat next to Xion. "Imagine it: a world without magic, a world that needs us to be heroes, villains, annoyances, perhaps even entertainers. A world that-… Just a second."

Bane then uses a special device to block me off from viewing or narrating what is happening…_**WHAT!?**_

***From My Point Of View (Yes, This Is Bane)***

I then turn back to Xion. "My friend, I have a plan," I tell her with a vicious grin. "I am to go off to the real world, because… When a fictional character goes to the real world, spends one full day there, then returns to whence he came, he gains unbelievable powers."

Xion, oh that little scamp, looks at me with interest. "I, and you, will be able to do almost anything! We can fly, we can swim, we can become powerful authors, like Halestorming! And write our own stories! And so much more!"

Xion then looks at me in utter disbelief. "What?" she asks quietly. "Are you serious? We can write stories, too?"

I nod with utter glee at the thought. I could become an author. And you guys could read all my stories! So don't tell Storm!

***Okay, I've Finally Gotten Control Back. Let's Get To It!***

"So, will you join me?" Bane asks Xion. "And help me find the Fifth Wall?"

Xion stands up quickly and nods. "You bet!" she shouts, shaking his hand… Okay, what did I miss here?

Anyways, they then exit to find the ship nearly about to hit Hook's ship. "You idiots!" Bane shouts. He then jumps up, smacks Axel aside and takes the wheel, narrowly moving the ship to the side to avoid an impact. "Fire at will!" he orders the samurais and Roxas.

Roxas and the samurais begin firing on Hook's ship. However, do you really expect the cannons to shoot cannonballs? They shoot out explosive bubbles. On contact with the ship, the bubbles blow up, causing severe damage to the ship. As Hook opens fire on the Gullible Buffalo, Bane has Axel shoot fire at Hook's crew, then sets a plank across the two ships. "Xion, to the Jolly Roger! HO!" Bane swiftly leaps over to Hook's ship, making the plank he placed pointless, followed by Xion who corridors.

Upon the Jolly Roger, Bane and Xion knock out a few men onboard and sneak below deck, to Hook's quarters. "Okay, now what?" Xion asks as Bane searches through Hook's stuff.

"We find Hook's stash of treasure maps for anything old, unusual or weird," Bane explains, throwing one of Hook's hooks aside. "Where are the dang maps!?"

"In the box labeled 'maps'?" Xion suggests, pointing to said box. Bane nods and pulls the box to him with an invisible rope. "…Why do you want to find the Fifth Wall again? You can already do practically anything you want."

"Anything but write a story…" Bane says…Wait a second, what's he talking about?

"Aha!" he shouts, pulling out a strange-looking map. "This might be something!"

"And how in all the worlds could that be the map to this infamous Fifth Wall you talk about?" Xion asks, taking a gold trinket or two and shoving them in her pocket.

Bane shows her the map, which is folded in twenty-four and still the size of a regular map. He then unfolds a bit and a strange, otherworldly writing is on the paper.

"I'm pretty confident," he tells his accomplice as the ship rocks violently. "Time to go."

Bane and Xion then corridor to the Gullible Buffalo and Bane directs Axel to steer them away from the Jolly Roger as he pulls a small package from his cloak. "Viva las locomotive!" Bane shouts, throwing the package onto the Jolly Roger. "Axel, get us outta here!"

As the ship sails away, a great booming is heard from Hook's ship as it begins to sink. "Smee!" Hook shouts as he frantically swims away from a crocodile. "SMEE!"

"Coming, Cap'n!" Smee replies. "Coming!"

Aboard the Gullible Buffalo (I just love that name), Bane attempts to unfurl the map, but can't due to its being larger than the ship. "Storm!" Bane shouts. "A little help with this thing?"

Suddenly, the entire group is teleported to another world, and the map has been shrunk to manageable size. "Thank you, sir. Now, let's get to it."

Bane opens the map and on it is that strange writing in the top-right corner, along with a blank sheet of paper on the rest, save for a blueish raindrop. "…It's blank," Axel states, looking on the back of the paper. "Is this thing worth anything more than fire?"

Bane throws a fish at Axel and punches him in the face, then takes the paper away. "You nimrodic imbecile!" he shouts. "This is _the_ map!"

Xion leans toward Bane. "Are we going to tell Axel and Roxas about the-" Bane silences her by throwing a pie at her face. "…Was that necessary?"

"Absolutely," Bane replies, throwing another pie at Roxas.

Roxas gets up and glares at Bane. "What is wrong with you!?" he shouts. "Do you just hate me, or what!?"

Ban shrugs. "More or less. Wanna help me read this?"

Roxas shouts to the sky. "That's it! I'm sick of this! I'm not going to stay here another second longer! I QUIT!" Roxas storms into a corridor and leaves…for now…

Axel blinks. "Did he just-"

"No," Bane replies. "He'll be back. I'm just giving him a cool-down period. Now, off to… where does this thing say the wall is?"

Axel and Xion sigh. "This is gonna be a long night," the female of the group says.

**Yes, the female of the group is Xion. Although I must wonder how Bane cut me off back there… Ah, whatever. Read and enjoy, my faithful admirers!**

**Bane: …Humility is a grand thing.**

**And you should get some. Goodbye, people!**


	5. Chapter 4: The First Clue

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 4: The First Clue**

_Uploaded January 5__th__, 2013_

Bane, Axel and Xion spend fourteen hours looking over the paper and trying to read the strange writing. Axel, however, gives up after about ten minutes and begins to sleep.

"Well, we're getting nowhere," Xion announces. "We can't read this, so why not find someone who can?"

Bane slaps his pancreas. "AHA! Let's find some sap who _can_ read this paper, then capture him and force him to help us!" he decides all on his own.

"…Why do you _have_ to kidnap everyone? Is it that hard to ask for help?"

"…Good point. STORM! Help me out here!"

**Sorry, buddy. I got nothing.**

"What!? You're an author! You can do anything within reason and the realm of writing!"

**Okay, first of all, does **_**anything**_** I write fall within the realm of reason? Second of all, the Fifth Wall is a bit beyond my reach. If it wasn't, I would just bring you to the real world anyways…But…**

"BUT WHAT!? FOR GOODNESS SAKE, WHAT!?" Bane shouts at me. Be nicer! …and quieter.

"Who are you yelling at?" Xion asks, unaware of the strange way Bane and I communicate.

"Halestorming – the author who writes this crazy, insane, ferpulous thing."

"Oh," Xion groans. "Well, tell him I want some stuff for my trouble." A piano falls next to her. "…Never mind – I'm good." That's better.

"See why I want to find the Fifth Wall?" he asks Xion… Ever feel like you're missing something?

Xion looks at the map. "Why do I feel like I've seen this somewhere, before?"

"Because you're blue?" Bane asks…Oh, come on! This is just getting weird! …Although…

"I am not, and you're green if I am," Xion replies. She then snaps her fingers. "I've got it! Xemnas had something like this in the Library that Never Was!"

"…They really called it that?" Bane asks in semi-surprise. "What did they call the bathroom? The Toilet that Never Was?"

"…I don't know…I can hardly recall having one, actually…"

"Moving on! Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"…Didn't you hear me? Xemnas had a book with writing like this!" Xion repeats.

"Xemnas? Why didn't you fart!? To the Castle that Never Was! With a stop in the City that Never Was, to pick up some donuts that never were!" Bane opens a corridor, plays Barney the purple, fun-loving dinosaur's theme song to awaken Axel, then attempts to skip through on a purple unicorn.

"Get off of me!" the unicorn complains.

"In, stupid horse with a spork upon your brow!" Bane commands. The unicorn's horn then glows purple and Bane floats up, then is tossed into the portal rather heftily. And thus, the unicorn sighs and magically teleports away.

"…Is he going to have characters from everything in this misadventure?" Axel asks, breaking the fourth wall (as though it were even still there by now).

"Probably," Xion replies, walking up to the portal. "But, with everything he's done up 'till now, would that really surprise you?"

Xion and Axel walk through as, unbeknownst to them, a character lurks in the shadows, watching them in their quest. Who is this character? What does he want? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know. But I do! It's 1,347! …and one bite. You can't lick the tootsie roll part or it gets into the range of ten-thousand.

***Somewhere That Never Was***

Bane, Xion, then Axel exit a portal in the Library that Never Was. They begin by staring at the entirety of Organization XIII (except Axel, Roxas and Xion), who somehow all unanimously decided to convene in the library, rather than their large meeting room (Where Nothing Gathers, to be exact).

"…Who are you?" Xigbar asks Bane.

"…New plan: Run, run away!" Bane shouts, rushing out the door and slamming, face-first, into Lexaeus. You know, the _**big**_ one? Yeah, him. Lexaeus picks Bane up, _by the face_, then carries him to a lounge chair and sets him down.

"…I brought the chips," Lexaeus says, showing the Organization and guests the bags of chips in his arms (a third of which were crushed by Bane). "And who is he?"

"No idea," Zexion replies. "But at least the others are here now… except for Roxas. Where is he?"

"Not here," Bane says, earning a bonk on the head from Lexaeus, making Bane go nappy-wappy-happy. "I loves the bubbles, mommsy! When are we gonna go poo-poos?"

This thus silenced all of Org. XIII, including Roxas, who was in another world at the time. "…Must'a been the wind," the blonde decides, going back to whatever he was doing.

"…Well, he certainly peaks my interest," Vexen says, looking at Bane creepily.

"Well, that's because you're a freak, Vexy," Axel teases, annoying the icecube.

"I-… did someone just call me an 'icecube'?" Vexen asks, looking around oddly.

"I had a similar feeling when we were being pranked by that assortment of people that one time," Saix admits. "In fact, it…" Saix stops and glares at Axel, Xion and Bane. "Reminds me a lot of right now," the werewolf growls. "WHO'S CALLING ME A WEREWOLF!?" he shouts… Well, I'm outta here – you're on your own, Bane!

… "Well, this is unexpected," Bane admits, having been duct taped to a chair while I was in the bathroom… I missed a lot. Oh, Xion and Axel were also taped to chairs… How long did I take?

"Now, one more time," Vexen demands. "Who are you, and why are you here?"

"I'm a Villipede," Bane replies.

"A what?" Vexen asks.

"…I'm a Zekyurem?"

"Are you talking about poke-" Xion begins, but is cut off.

"Oh! I'm a Charizardasaurstoise!"

"…Seriously?" Axel asks.

"Not really, but it'd be cool, right?"

"Enough of these games!" Vexen shouts, summoning his shield. "Talk, or else!"

"Upon a winter's frosty eve, I wrote to my dear lass,

She gave me such enjoyment, especially in class.

We went out into this big world, to learn about the ways,

The ways to best go live our lives, the ways to hope and live,

The ways, we thought we ought to live, and then the other ways,

The ways that told a truer tale; the ways to share and give.

We thought that if we were apart we would no longer be,

We thought to part was so insane, we'd rather cease to be.

But one night came, upon a darkened moon that was so dreary,

A night so sad and so unsung, the thought was rather teary.

And so-"

"Shut up!" Vexen interrupted. Xion threw her keyblade at him.

"You shut up! I wanted to hear the ending!" she shouts. She then turns to Bane. "Please continue."

He nods. "Thank you, Xi.

"And so, when I look back and see, a night that was so sad,

I look again, and see again, the mem'ries that we had.

And so, my friends, I say to you, whenever you look back,

Take heart, don't fret, and maybe you will see the love you lack."

The whole of the room is silent for a moment, then Demyx cries out. "That was beautiful!"

The whole room claps and whistles and applauds, except for Vexen and Xemnas. They're killjoys.

"Thank you, thank you!" Bane stands and takes a bow.

Saix leans over to Vexen. "Wasn't he taped to a chair?" he asks the Chilly Academic.

"…Get him!" Vexen yells. The Organization stares at him, then at Bane, then at each other, then at the empty spot Bane had been, then at Xion and Axel's empty chairs, then at the open door… They run out the door to find them.

"Hehehe, idiots," Bane comments, standing behind the open door and pushing it shut, then locking it. "Okay, people!" Axel and Xion come out from behind bookshelves. "Look for anything that matches these symbols!" He shows them the map to the Fifth Wall (yeah, I think that actually is the real map; who knew Hook had it all along?).

They search high and low for the book but find nothing. As Xion is piling books on the table, one of the group walks over to her. "Need any help?" he asks.

"Sure, start with the top shelf; I don't like heights," she replies.

"…And yet you would sit on the edge of a tall clock tower, by choice, every single day?" he asks in surprise.

Xion shrugs. "Go figure." She then turns to the assistant. "…"

"Hello," Zexion greets. "What book are you looking for, exactly?"

"…Bane!" she shouts, surprising Zexion. "Bring me the map!"

Bane falls in front of the duo, then pulls himself up like Oswald the Lucky Rabbit… You don't know Oswald the Lucky Rabbit? _**Disney Dimwits!**_

"This'n?" Bane asks, holding up a map of McDonald Duck's.

"…No, the Fifth Wall one," Xion replies. Bane pulls out said map and Xion shows it to Zexion. "I saw a book in here that had some of these symbols once; do you know which one?"

Zexion looks the symbols over, then nods. "I do." Our trio cheers! "But we don't have it." Our trio is confused. "It was a library book." Our trio is sad. "But I did read it." Our trio is hopeful. "In fact, we had it just so that I could learn to read that language." Peter Pan farts! …Oh yeah, our trio is also happy again…whoot…

"Then you will decipher this, my friend!" Bane announces, shoving the paper in Zexion's face.

Zexion lowers the paper. "Why should I help you?" he asks. Bane then uses that device of his to cut me out of view of the situa-…_**WAIT, WHAT!? AGAIN?!**_

***Me Again! Bane-Baney-Bane-Banerson! Let's do this!***

I turn to Axel and throw my special knock-out dust at him, then turn to Zexion. "I seek the legendary Fifth Wall, my wise, short, well-learned and short friend!" I say, ruffling his hair a bit. He then glares at me.

After Xion and I carefully explain what powers the Fifth Wall can give us, he smiles cleverly. "Very well, I'll help you… But I'm not coming with you anywhere, until you find the door."

"WHAT!?" I shout in _utter_, _complete_, and _total_ awareness. "Why not?"

He shrugs. "You have a large enough group already, to be honest. Besides, here I have all my books to assist me in my research. However, if you'll follow me," he opens a corridor of darkness. "I will decipher this short text."

***I'm Back, And I'm Ticked As A Raccoon In A Garbage Can That Was Knocked Over!***

"**BANE!**" I shout from everywhere except the north-northeast. **"What the hoopla are you doing!?"**

The trio (and Axel, who I woke up with my shout) huddle together in fear. "What was that!?" Axel and Zexion shout, then they turn to each other. "…Don't do that again," they both say simulataneously. "Stop that. Stop that. Stop it!"

"**SHUT IT, THE BOTH'A YA'S!**" I SHOUT IN- oh sorry; caps lock. I shout in a loud yell from behind them. They turn and see a young man, about 16, wearing a white jacket with red accents over a red t-shirt and jeans, with white tennis shoes on his feet. "Now, Bane, you mind telling me what you've been doing, BLOCKING ME OUT!?"

"…You actually came here?" Bane asks in surprise. "I'm surprised."

"I said that, already," 'I' tell him. "And I'm also not quite Halestorming. I'm one of his personifications – Storm, to be specific."

"He has multiple personificle… persefony…people figures?" Axel asks awkwardly.

"Duh. If he used his actual self, he'd be breaking a rule of the website," Storm explains. "So, why are you blocking him out?"

Bane shrugs. "Fun."

"…Okay," Storm says, leaving. Well, I'm satisfied. Ready to get back to the insanity? Too bad! This chapter ends _**NOW!**_

**Well, things are getting a bit more unusual now, aren't they?**

**Bane: I rock!**

…**Well, that's all I got for now. Also, I'm postin' a chapter of my Pokemon Story Today!**

**Bane: When, good lumpy one?**

…**Now!**


	6. Chapter 5: Deciphering the Map!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 5: Deciphering the Map!**

_Uploaded January 15__th__, 2013_

"Oppa Gangnam Style!" Bane shouts, gangnaming into Zexion's corridor.

The group stares at Bane as he gangnams into the corridor. "…I have absolutely no idea what-"

"_Heeeeeeeey!_" Axel dances in behind. "Disney lady!"

"…Are you going to do something entirely random, too?" he asks Xion.

Xion shrugs. "They took most of the moves, and I am _not_ doing the elevator thing, so… I think I'm good." With that, Xion and Zexion follow through the corridor.

***In Zexion's Room…That Never Was***

Bane and Axel dance-off into the room (similar to how Psy and the yellow suited guy did, except moving), with Zexion and Xion following closely behind. "…Are you two entirely idiots? Or is it just when I'm around?" Zexion asks.

"Yes, but more-so when you're around, it seems," Xion answers. "So, can you really read this stuff?"

Zexion nods, examining the map of the Fifth Wall. "I think so… I can already tell that the first words are _'Give up now'_."

"What!?" Bane shouts, punching Zexion's wall and leaving a hole, which Lexaeus peaks into.

"Anything wrong?" Lexaeus asks.

Zexion shrugs. "Not really. I'm merely assisting this brainless moron in his pursuit of a magical object that can warp reality."

"…Very well," Lexaeus says, going back to his soaps.

"…I'll never give up!" Bane says, punching the air. The air hurt slightly. "I shall find the wall! And go through it!"

Axel sighs. "What's the big deal about this wall thingy, anyways?"

Zexion blinks at Bane. "Didn't you tell him?" he asks.

"No," Bane replies, using the sleeping dust on Axel once more. "And I ain't gonna. He'd just abuse it."

"…And you won't?" Xion asks… I think I'm just gonna ignore the obvious fact that there's something I'm missing now.

"More or less. But I am gonna use it," Bane replies. "You got the rest of that thing deciphered yet?"

Zexion is currently looking over the map. "Not quite. But there seems to be a bit more than a simple 'turn left and make a right at Main Street'." He then turns it on an angle. "Ah, yes. There's even more when you turn the parchment. This may take a while. I suggest you go get something to eat. I'll call you when I find something."

Bane then flips a coin in his hand. "Meh. Okay. McDonald Duck's good with everyone?" Everyone says yes… including Zexion. "What? You're coming?"

"Only for a moment," Zexion replies, getting up. "I do need to eat, and I'll bring the map with me."

After Bane spits in his eye, Zexion screams, and Xion giggles, they head into a corridor, to find a McDonald Duck's.

***At A Particular McDonald Ducks, Somewhere In The Universe!***

The trio walks out, but is met with a surprise. There, at the counter, stands Roxas, ordering some food. "Yeah, a large coke-wait! You do have the one-dollar every-size drinks, right?" The lady at the register nods. "Good. One of those, and… that'll do. Oh! And tell me if you see a guy with black hair and black eyes and an insanity complex."

The lady peeks behind Roxas and looks Bane up and down. Bane waves slightly. The lady shrugs. "No one yet," she replies, handing him a receipt. "It'll be ready in a few minutes.

Roxas nods. "Thanks," he replies, walking right past Bane and the gang, and only noticing Zexion. "Hey, Zexion! What are you doing here?"

Zexion nods to Roxas. "Hello, Roxas. I was simply getting something to eat. By the way, did you know-…" Zexion turns to Bane and the gang, but they're gone. "…Never mind. What do you suggest?"

Roxas thinks about the food. "For you? I'd go with the Scrooge McChicken."

Zexion nods. "Thank you. Maybe I'll see you in a bit."

Roxas shrugs. "Probably not. I've been moving from place to place. Trying to keep away from some nut… Hey, have you ever heard of the Fifth Wall?"

Zexion thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. "I don't think I have… What is it?"

Roxas smirks. "Oh, I'm just planning a little expedition to find it. Wanna help?"

Before Zexion can answer, Bane leaps from the ceiling and slugs Roxas. "How dare you!?" he shouts. "You're trying to steal my decipherer!"

Roxas does a double-take. "You!?" he shouts. "I thought you were at the castle!"

Bane's eyes bulge, then narrow. "And how would you know that?"

Roxas flinches. "Umm, well, you see… Sora, now!" Suddenly, Sora leaps from above, landing on Bane. "Let's go!"

Roxas creates a portal and runs through. Sora runs up to the portal. "Wait!" he calls in. "Did you get my Huey Bacon Burger?" With that, Roxas' hand pulls Sora into the portal as it shuts.

"…What just happened, there?" Axel asks as Bane gets up.

"He stole my plan!" Bane shouts, fuming. "He's making a ragtag group of random characters to storm the Fifth Wall and go through!"

"…We're storming it?" Xion asks. "I thought there was a door."

Bane shrugs. "Meh. I'm still working out the fine points," Bane says, taking in a breath. "Okay, first we get our food, then we come up with a new plan of attack."

***Once Food Is Gotten, And Our Quartet Sits At A Table***

Bane coughs, gathering the group's attention. "Okay, first, what do we know?"

Axel burps. "That Roxas is working together with his Somebody? I still don't get that."

"Correct," Bane says, nodding. "And?"

"That they're trying to get to the Fifth Wall?" Xion guesses.

"Also correct," Bane agrees. "And?"

Zexion puts on a thinking pose. "Well, it seems that they've been watching you, and may also know the true powers the Fifth Wall possesses…at least what you've told us about it."

"…Nicely put, garden gnome," Bane says, insulting Zexion's hair…somehow…

Zexion sighs and eats. "Hey!" Axel exclaims. "Why am I helping you and not Roxas?"

Bane shrugs. "I am unsure. Though, it might have something to do with the fact that I _**SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU!**_" Bane screams in a horrible, gut-wrenching scream.

Axel whimpers, possibly wetting himself…okay, _definitely_ wetting himself. "Alright, I have something here," Zexion says, reading the map. "_'To find that which ye seek so dearly, find the land where dreams are reality'_… I am unsure what that means."

Bane slams the table and stands. "I got it! Neverland – the land where you never grow up!"

"…As good a place as any," Xion consents. "When do we leave?"

"After we eat," Bane replies.

"You may want to speed that up," Zexion suggests. "I just saw Sora out the window."

"WHAT!?" Bane shouts, leaning over Axel and looking out. There's Sora, going through a portal and leaving, knowledge in hand.

"…Can you get your knee off of my face?" Axel asks.

"No," Bane replies. He then makes a corridor under Axel, which the redhead falls through, Bane going through shortly after. Xion then follows through a regular corridor and Zexion leaves to his room in the World that Never Was.

***At Neverland, Quickly!***

Bane runs out a corridor, followed by Axel and Xion. "We shall stop Roxas!" he decrees.

"Question," Axel interjects. "Why are we in the ocean?"

Then Bane notices that they are swimming in Neverland's seas. "…WHERE'S MY SHIP!?" Bane shouts. He looks around, then spots the black ship afar. Bane then produces a telescope, viewing the ship through it.

Aboard the ship, Roxas' samurais are manning the ship, with Roxas at the wheel and Sora in the crow's nest. Bane also sees someone else enter the helm, but can't quite see who. "…That little barnacle stole my ship!"

"I believe the term is 'commandeered'," Axel corrects.

"Shut yer blather hole!" Bane shouts, going into 'captain mode'. "We're re-commandeering it! Into the portal!" Bane then creates a portal slightly underwater and waits. After a minute-or-two, he goes through, followed by the other two.

***Aboard Bane's Ship; The Gullible Buffalo***

Roxas steers the ship while looking about for land when a portal suddenly appears above him, drenching him with water. Roxas screams and falls onto the deck as Bane, Xion and Axel leap down from the portal. "We're here to reclaim my ship!" Bane announces. "And then maybe get a coke or two. We'll see."

Bane then produces two broadswords and leaps at Roxas. The blonde Nobody jumps back and summons his two keyblades, and they duel.

Meanwhile, Sora leaps down, keyblade in hand, and begins to fight Axel. Axel then flips over Sora and kicks him in the back. "Take this, spiky-haired hero-boy!" Axel shouts, shooting fire at Sora.

Sora's outfit turns blue and he begins gliding around the fire in Wisdom Form, then begins to shoot magic at Axel from his keyblade.

As this happens Xion observes the scene, then shrugs and smirks, forming her own plan. With Bane and Roxas, the two duel well, but Bane gains the upper hand as he produces a bowl and spoon, then lightly taps the bowl with said spoon. Suddenly, the entire ship comes to a halt. All but Bane are surprised as Bane moves the spoon about the rim of the bowl and the rigging of the ship comes to life, grabbing Roxas and Sora and hoisting them up, also giving Roxas a wedgie at the same time.

"Oh, come on!" Roxas shouts in pain. "Is this fair?"

"I don't know," Bane replies angrily. "I don't care. I don't even give a dang perturbed walrus if it is. You stole my ship! Shut up, Axel!" Axel was going to say 'commandeered', but decided not to. "And do you know what I do with mutineers?"

"You didn't mention mutiny in the first place," Sora points out, hanging upside down from some rigging. "Can I get down now? I don't even know what I'm doing this for."

"For the FifthWall!" Roxas replied. "I told you, it can make us like-"

And Bane dropped Roxas into the ocean right then… Hey, I just figured out something! I don't actually know what the Fifth Wall can do! …Might have to research that… Moving on.

"…Can I leave?" Sora asks, trying to escape the ropes.

Bane shrugs. "Axel, Xion, what do you think?" he asks his crewmen…and woman.

"I say leave him there," Axel replies, de-summoning his chakrams. "He's kind of annoying."

Bane nods. "Point taken. Xion? …Xion?" Bane looks around, finding no Xion. "Where-"

Suddenly, the door bursts open and a large man walks out from the ship. "You!" Bane shouts in shock. "What are you doing here?"

There stands Cornerstone; Grey's assistant by no choice of his own, and also one of my OC's. He is a huge man (somewhere just over nine-feet tall) that wears armor similar to keyblade armor, although a dark brown and more rounded, with no spikes in the top. "I am assisting Roxas and Sora in their pursuit of the Fifth Wall," he replies in a voice like stone; deep and strong. "And you?"

"Takin' my ship back!" Bane replies, shooting fire at the giant, who backhands the spell away. "…That proves nothing."

"Except that I am stronger than you," Cornerstone adds. "Now, I must be off," he says as a portal appears beside him. "Good luck beating us to the wall."

As Cornerstone is about to step through, suddenly a cry is heard. "For Narnia!" Xion shouts, running from the captain's quarters with a large sword in hand.

Cornerstone smacks the sword away before she even gets close, but Xion merely leaps up and roundhouse kicks the giant in the face, making him stumble back some. "How dare you!?" Cornerstone shouts, summoning a large mace-club-staff. It's almost as tall as Cornerstone, has three-pronged blades at each end, and is very sturdy with a brown color scheme.

"Bring it, Goliath!" Xion shouts, no-hand back flipping away to gain some distance. "I could take you with my eyes closed! …But I won't, since that'd be stupid."

Cornerstone gives a battle cry and rushes Xion with his mace, then Xion leaps up and throws a round thing at him. It bounces off his head rather harmlessly and Cornerstone slams his mace at Xion, knocking the poor girl into the side of the ship. Cornerstone steps toward her, but feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and sees a Charizard standing there, cracking its knuckles.

Cornerstone blinks for a moment, then looks behind the Charizard and sees an open pokeball (the thing Xion had thrown at him). He turns back to Charizard, throws his mace aside and throws a punch that Charizard blocks with its wing.

Charizard gives a cruel smirk and before you know it, Cornerstone is flying out to sea. The Charizard gives a mighty roar as Xion returns it.

"Dude!" Axel says in astonishment. "That was awesome!"

"Yeah," Bane agrees. "Ashley's kinda cool."

"…Ashley?" Axel asks. "You mean… that was a girl?"

"Yup," Bane replies. "One of Halestorming's pokemon. He plays, you know."

After that was settled and my pokeball was put away, the crew goes about manning the ship, then settles into their beds, as it is nighttime. "Hello?" Sora calls from the rigging. "Still up here…Anybody? Roxas? Cornerstone? …I feel lonely."

**Bane: BLASTED TRAITOR!**

**Well, honestly, it's the Fifth Wall. Even I don't have **_**complete**_** control over where this could go.**

**Bane: Where is it going, anyway?**

**We'll see. Hey, did you find the flub in this story?**

**Bane: Sora turned into Wisdom Form without any assitence?**

…**No. I mentioned pokemon. Ashley was my starter in Leafgreen. *smirk* Boy, did she give Gary some trouble.**

**Bane: …Back to me – I desire some victory! Absolute and total victory!**

…**We'll see, my friend. We'll see.**


	7. Chapter 6: Where Dreams Come True

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 6: Where Dreams Come True…**

Bane awakens first and exits his quarters to find the ship sailing fine, still surrounded by ocean and still with Sora in the rigging. "Can I get down now?" the tired teen asks, having turned himself right-side-up at some point in the night.

"No," Bane replies. "I'm sending you to Destiny Islands." With that, Bane opens a corridor below Sora, which Sora falls into. "Now, AXEL AND XION, TO THE DECK, NOW!" Bane shouts. Soon enough, the two arrive on deck. "Ah, good, you heard me," Bane says with a nod. "Alright, first we look on the mainland, then-"

Zexion walks through a portal, onto the deck. "Ah, there you are," he says as he enters. "I've deciphered more of the map."

"Well, out with it, boy!" Bane says, throwing a fish, which Zexion ducks under.

"Must you?" the purpleish-haired Nobody asks. "The next part says, _'Once in the land of dream-filled wishes, find the place with singing dishes.' _…Again, no clue."

Bane sighs. "Okay, pretty sure there are no dishes in Neverland," he says.

"Maybe Beast's Castle?" Sora suggests.

"Yeah, maybe… HEY!" Bane turns to spot Sora running through a portal to Beast's Castle. "…Stop following my ideas!" Bane shouts at the air. "And then running away!"

"They're gone, Bane," Xion says, putting a hand on his shoulder. "They're… Hey, why can't I move my hand?" As she says this, she tries to pull her hand away, but can't.

"Oh. I think I spilled some glue on my shoulders this morning," Bane replies. "It happens. Now, to the castle of singing dishware and-"

"Wait!" Zexion calls out, looking over the map quickly. "I can't believe I didn't see this sooner! Look!" He showed them the map; particularly the rain drop.

"…So?" Bane asks as Xion continues to try to remove her hand from his shoulder, even bracing one foot on Bane's back.

"The raindrop! And the next part of the riddle!" Zexion clears his throat and begins. "_'In this land of magic and wonder, find next the palace of ripening thunder. Once you've found the mage who is busy, you'll realize you're in the world of…'_ The next part is blank… as though you must fill it in yourself…"

Bane and the group think this over for a minute, then Bane's eyes widen. "No," he whispers. "It couldn't be. A land of dreams, singing dishes, a land of magic and wonder, and a mage who is busy would rhyme with… Hey, Haletorming! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

…**You really need to stop relying on me for things, you know. Decide on your own.**

Bane shrugs. "Might as well try it," he replies. "Everyone, pack your bags!" he announces.

"Why?" Xion questions questioningly.

"Because…" Bane starts, turning around. "We're going to Disney World!"

"Disney Castle?" Axel asks.

"No."

"Disney Town?" Zexion inquires.

"No."

"The theme park in the real world?" Xion questions.

"No. The theme park in the real… Well, technically, we can't go to the real world. BUT, characters _can_ go to Walt Disney World, because it's where the 'fictional' world touches the 'real' world… Why didn't I think of that, before!?"

Zexion nods in thought. "It sounds like the perfect place to keep the barrier between the two worlds; at the one place where they meet."

Bane opens a portal and awaits his lackeys. "To the happiest place in the universe! HO!" he runs through as the others follow. Except for Zexion, of course, who goes back to his room with the map.

_***In The Place Where Dreams Come True!***_

Bane, Xion and Axel exit a portal in the front entrance to the Magic Kingdom, in the wonderful world of Disney! Yup, folks. They're really there. Jealous? …I know I am.

Bane takes in a deep breath, then sighs happily. "Okay, first thing's first. We must decipher the first riddle!"

Axel clears his throat, then recites: "_'Once in the land of dream-filled wishes, find the place with singing dishes.'_"

Bane nods. "Nicely done," he commends. "Now, where are singing dishes?"

The two shrug, never having been to Disney World before, as Bane sighs. "I haven't been here before, either."

**GET A MAP!** I suggest loudly. **YOU'RE IN DISNEY WORLD, FOR PETE'S SAKE! BE HAPPY!**

Bane then cowers slightly. "…Okay," he whimpers. He then swallows his fear and walks toward the gates.

As the trio walks through, Axel punches Bane in the face then runs away, screaming, "I'm free! Free!" and getting lost in the crowd.

"…Are you gonna leave, too?" Bane asks Xion.

Xion shakes her head. "No. And if you'd told Axel what the Fifth Wall can do-"

"He would've left to help Roxas," Bane interrupts. "See? I think ahead. Now, follow me!" Bane leads Xion to the area known as 'Fantasyland,' the land where the most magical of Disney things are kept, and walks to the entrance to Philharmagic!

…Unfortunately, they forgot something. "And stay out!" a guard says as he throws them out of Disney World. The thing they forgot was that you must have a pass to be in Disney World. Silly them.

Bane groans and pops his spine. "Okay, that was fun," he says as he helps Xion up. "Now what?"

"We could buy a pass," Xion suggests. "How much are they?" Bane points to a sign, showing the ticket prices. "WHAT!?" Xion shouts in shock. "You could buy a world with that kind of munny!"

Bane nods. "Exactly. You got that much?" Xion shakes her head 'no'. "Then we improvise."

"Okay," Xion says, thinking the situation over. "We could get jobs and-"

"NO," Bane replies firmly. "There's no way I-"

"Hello!" a man in a blue suit greets Bane and Xion with a huge, fake smile. "Would you two like lifetime passes to Walt Disney World?"

Bane and Xion look at each other in shock and nod to the man. "Great! All you have to do is answer seven out of ten questions about Disney subjects correctly, and you win!"

Bane and Xion talk it over, then Xion asks the man something. "What if only one of us gets them right?"

"You can work as a team and answer together, if you like! But you can only submit one answer per question!"

Then Bane asks something else. "What if we get all ten right?"

"Then you also get passes to the Disney water parks and international Disney World branches! Disney Paris, oui! Disney Tokyo, konichiwa! Disney Canada, eh?"

The duo shrugs. "Sure, why not?" Bane replies.

"Okay!" the peppy man answers. "Question number 1: what was Mickey Mouse's original name?"

The two think for a moment, then Bane snaps his fingers. "Mortimer!" he exclaims. "Mortimer Mouse!"

"Correct!" the man replies, marking a slash on a dry-erase board. "One down, nine to go! Question number 2: What Disney Princess story is the castle in Disneyland Paris themed after?"

Xion instantly says, "Aurora, otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty!"

"Correct!" the man replies, marking another slash.

"How did you know?" Bane asks.

"I looked through a guide book while this guy was explaining the rules," Xion replies, pointing to a nearby guidebook stand. "It was very informative."

"Question number 3!" the man went on. "What was Walt Disney's first real character?"

"Easy," Xion replies. "Micke-" Bane slaps his hand over her mouth.

"Oswald, the lucky rabbit!" Bane asnwers quickly.

"Correct!" the man replies, making a fourth correct mark. "Question number 4!"

"Wait a sec!" Bane interrupts. "How did we get four right already?"

The man looks between Bane and the board, then shrugs. "Meh, I don't care," he replies. "Question 4: True or False: is there a glass slipper high up in the Magic Kingdom's Cinderella Castle?"

Bane is stumped right here. "True," Xion replies.

"Correct again!" the man says, marking a seventh mark. "Now-"

"Hold it!" Bane says. How the hippo of Fantasia are there seven now?"

The man looks at the board and is taken aback. He then wipes away three. "Okay, question number five! Ready?" The two nod. "Who was the star of Walt Disney's first animated feature?"

"Snow White," Bane and Xion reply together. "You're gonna need harder questions than this, buddy," Bane adds.

The man's face twitches. "Okay! Harder questions, you say? You got it! Question 6: What is Mickey Mouse's birthday?"

"November 18th," Bane replies as the man is still finishing the question, shocking him. "Come on, man, I said hard questions!"

The man wipes off his brow and pulls out a few note cards. He shuffles through until he gets to a good one. "What does EPCOT stand for?" he asks.

"Experimental Prototype City Of Tomorrow," Xion replies, making the man sweat. "That's seven. Tickets, please."

The man pulls on his collar. "Well, hold on! If I give them to you now, you can't get the special ones! Which do you want?"

The duo shrugs. "Okay, we'll see if we can get the last three. Shoot, Jimmy!" Bane demands.

'Jimmy' looks through the cards, then smirks at one. "Ah-ha! What was the firehouse on Main street once used for?"

Xion is about to answer, but Bane stops her. "The one in Disney World, or Disneyland?"

"Disneyland," the man replies.

"Walt used it as a place for his grandkids to stay when they visited him there," Bane replies, utterly shocking the man. "Question 9?"

"…Question 9," he man replies, frantically going through his cards to find anything that could trip them up. "! Okay, smartie-pantses, who is the main character of Tangled?"

"TRICK!" Bane shouts out. "The main character_**s**_ are Rapunzel, Flynn/Eugene, Gothel, Pascal and Max. Oh yeah, the thugs too."

"…Co-correct," the man stutters. "One more correct and you win… What do Questions number 1,3,5, and 7 have in common?"

Bane and Xion think back. "…Mickey's real name, Walt's first character, Disney's first animated movie, and the meaning of EPCOT?" Bane asks. The man nods.

Xion sighs. "I got nothing," she says and the man relaxes.

"Ah, too bad," he says. "Well, you could've stopped at seven, but since you went on and failed, you get nothing."

"What!?" Xion screams. "You didn't say that!"

The man shrugs. "Sorry, rules are rules. Now, if you will-"

"Hold it, buster!" Bane says with a smirk. "I've got the answer!"

The man laughs. "Oh, please, it took days to come up with that one and no one's ever gotten it! You think you-"

"Question 1!" Bane interrupts. "Walt Disney changed Mortimer's name to Mickey after he asked his wife about the name!" The man shrugs. "Question 3! Walt Disney originally created Oswald before Mickey but lost the rights to Oswald over a legal dispute!" The man narrows his eyes at Bane. "Question 5! Walt Disney created Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as his first cartoon feature-length film!" The man begins stepping back. "And question 7! Walt Disney named EPCOT as he did for a hope of a great future and a place to bring his visions into reality! They were all created by Walt Disney!"

The man's eyes bulge as he stands there for a moment… then runs away. "HEY!" Bane shouts, pulling out his swords. "Get back here!"

Bane and Xion chase the man to an employee's entrance which he begins to run through until Xion pulls him out. "Okay, buddy!" Xion says, pulling her keyblade to him. "Make with the tickets!"

The man sputters. "I-I-I-I don't have any," he says.

"…Okay," Bane says calmly.

The man turns with a surprised look to Bane. "Really?"

"Yeah," Bane replies. "We'll just sell you to pirates and use the money to buy tickets." As Bane gives the man a vicious grin and cracks his knuckles the man begins to sweat. Bane then cracks his neck twice, and grabs the man by his collar. "Ready to go?" he asks ominously as a portal opens behind him.

"…I'LL GIVE YOU ALL MY MONEY, JUST LET ME GO!" the man screams frantically, trying to pull away.

"All?" Xion asks, standing before the portal.

"All of it, yes!" the man screams, pulling out his wallet. "Just take it! Take it!"

"Okay," Bane replies, grabbing the man's wallet and throwing him into the portal.

"…You seriously just threw him into-" As Xion asks, a sound is heard and she looks over, seeing the man fall into a nearby dumpster. "…You clever little sneak," she compliments Bane.

Bane smirks, pocketing the cash and throwing the wallet into a randomly convenient fish bowl. "It's a gift," he says, going to buy two tickets.

***Once Bane And Xion Have Tickets And Enter The Magic Kingdom***

"We are here!" Bane announces. "And now, I sing!"

Xion looks at him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" she asks.

"…We're in Disney World. If there was ever a time for a singing montage, now would be it."

"…How is that author dude gonna write a montage, anyways?" Xion asks… **Hey, how **_**am**_** I gonna do that?**

"He'll figure it out," Bane says. **Thanks, buddy.**

***Well, Here Goes Nothing***

Bane and Xion begin walking through Main Street as music begins to play (don't bother looking this up; it's a medley I'm making up as I go).

"When you wish upon a star," Bane begins. "Makes no difference who you are! Anything your heart desires will come to _you_." They pass the stores of Main Street. "If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme! Anything your heart desires will _cooooome_ – _tooooooo_ – _yooooooooooooo_-"

Bane and Xion enter Adventureland as the music shifts. "Ooh be doo!" He leaps to the top of the trees. "I wanna be like, you-oo-ooh! Wanna walk like you- talk like you- too-_oo_-ooh!"

Xion sighs. "Come on, join in!" Bane shouts to her. The music shifts again. "Can your friends do this?" he asks, pulling a frying pan out of thin air. "Do your friends do that?" he adds, throwing the frying pan at the nearby golden camel and making its head spin. "Can your friends pull this-!" He pulls out a hat and reaches deeeeep into it. "Out their little haaaaaat! Can your friends go _poof!_" as he says it, he pulls out a giant bucket, which spills onto Xion, giving her a jewel-encrusted gown and seven butlers. "Well, looky here!"

"I could get used to this," Xion says as one butler brings her a tray of steaming turkey.

"Can your friends go 'Abracadabra', let're rip, and then make the sucker disappear?" The butlers disappear and the gown turns back to her old cloak.

"Hey! I liked that!"

"Oh, stop being a spoilsport!" Bane says, hanging from the camel that spits at him, making him fall. "…The music's changing! And we're headin' to…"

As the duo enters Fronteirland! "How do you do?" Bane asks.

"Pleased to meet ya'!" Xion replies.

"Fine, how are you?" Bane repeats.

"Nice seein' ya!" Xion adds, eager to finish this song. Poor Xion.

"How ya' come on?"

"Howdy do!"

"Pretty good, sure as you're born. Pretty good, sure as you're born!"

"…Are we done?" Xion asks as the music stops.

"Yup," Bane replies. "Though I could've gone longer." **Well, pardon me for having a limited amount of author-power in Disney World. You're lucky I was able to do that much!**

"Yeah, yeah," Bane says, pushing my effort aside. "Hey, Xion, waddaya wanna ride?"

"…Ride?" Xion asks in surprise.

"Well, duh," Bane says. "We have some time 'till the next time Philharmagic's showing, so how about we ride something?"

"…Yeah, sure," Xion replies and they head for Liberty Square, wherein lies the Hall of Presidents, Liberty Square Riverboat, and…

"The Haunted Mansion!" Bane announces, bringing Xion to the entrance by any means necessary.

"No!" Xion argues, trying to grab on to anything as Bane drags her to the entrance.

"Why not? What are ya', scared?"

Xion pulls away and looks Bane straight in the eye. "No! I just… Well, crazy stuff's been happening since we started this thing, why would it stop now?"

"Cuz I seriously just wanna have some wholesome, Disney World fun," Bane explains sincerely.

"…Fine," Xion agrees with ever-so-slight reluctance.

Bane chuckles quietly. "Ahh, if Storm writes the word 'sincerely', they think I'm being truthful… Well, I kinda am, but…"

"Bane!" Xion shouts from the entrance.

"Coming, dear!" Bane shouts, running to meet her until they reach a fork.

"Graveyard side," Xion reads from one side. "The other is-"

"Graveyard!" Bane chooses, pulling Xion to the left. The two enter a line which passes a collection of headstones, each with a different engraving. "Hmm, you ever seen any of them, before?" he asks Xion.

Xion sighs. "Very cute," she says. She then looks at the engraving on the stones. "Hmm, this looks like a murder mystery kind of thing," she explains as Bane leans over by her. "A stuck-up lady, twins, a freaked out money-grubber, an old lady, and a creepy guy with a snake around his neck… Any ideas?"

Bane nods. "The writing; it says how they died," he points out. "Check the stuck up lady's first."

Xion nods, then reads. "Cousin Maude. Our sleeping beauty who never awoke. The night her dreams went up in smoke… So, she was in a fire?"

"Yup," Bane agrees. "And now the twins. Wellington and Forsythia. Departed life while in their beds. With identical bumps on identical heads… They were whacked off."

Xion almost jumps back at Bane's suggestion. "…Okay… Next is the weirdo. Uncle Jacob. Greed was the poison he had swallowed. He went first, the others followed. His killer's face he surely knew. Now try to discover who killed who… So he didn't kill any of them."

Bane nods. "He was poisoned, if my wordplay is correct… Now the old lady?"

Xion reads the next stone. "Aunt Florence. Never did a dishonorable deed. Yet found face-down in canary seed."

"Creepy," Bane mutters. "Next up, Bertie… no title?"

"Avid Hunter and expert shot. In the end, that's what he got." Xion giggles. "The _end_."

"Hey!" Bane shouts. "All the people have a symbol above their names!"

Bane points to an item above each person's name. "Yep… Cousin Maude has a-"

"HEY!" Bane stops her. "Let's not spoil it for everyone."

"Okay," Xion agrees. "I'll just list the items. **– SKIP NOW TO KEEP YOURSELF UNSPOILED IF YOU PLAN TO VISIT DISNEY WORLD SOON OR CARE NOT TO BE SPOILED – **Cousin Maude has a mallet, the twins have a bird, the weird guy doesn't have anything, the old lad has a pistol and the creepy hunter has a bottle of something."

**YOU ARE CLEAR OF SPOILARY NOW!**

"Okay, that's that – let's move on," Bane says as they walk past a crypt with musical instruments on it. "What's this do?" Bane asks, touching a horn on the side of it.

Xion, who is behind him, jumps slightly as a horn starts playing music. Bane thinks for a moment and touches a xylophone with his other hand, making more music. "Can I try?" Xion asks. Ban moves around, allowing Xion to play, and spots more instruments on the other side; ghostly instruments. Bane smirks.

Xion is playing, but suddenly hears a ghostly organ play. She jumps back as Bane hits the stone keys. The keys do not move, but music is made, and wind bursts forth from the ghoulish pipes as he does.

"…How can it do that?" Xion asks.

"Disney magic," Bane replies, sliding his finger down the keys and back, causing a horrible wail. More music begins, but Bane is still. Xion too does nothing, and around the corner they peak. No one is there, but music still plays, while the wall of the crypt shows things for to gaze. A myriad of tunes flow from the wall, but the instruments there aren't touched at all. As the duo of hapless, witless fools look, a sound fills their ears; the laugh…of Hook.

Bane and Xion scream, run past the waiting area and enter the room inside the mansion…alone.

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Bane: …Man, you're nuts.**

**Yes, yes I am. Disney rocks!**


	8. Chapter 7: Grim-Grinning Ghosts

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 7: Grim Grinning Ghosts!**

_Uploaded January 25th, 2012_

Bane looks around and sees no one but the maid. "Excuse me," he asks. "Where are-"

The maid walks away, out another door as a 'click!' is heard, signaling the door's locking.

"…Well… this is odd," Bane comments as the room grows cold, and still.

"_When hinges creek in doorless chambers," _a voice begins from the air.

"What's that!?" Xion shouts, grabbing Bane.

Bane pulls her off. _"And strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelight flicker, where the air is __**deathly**__ still."_

"Just the voice-thing, I'm sure," Bane replies. "Right, Halestorming? …Halestorming?"

"_That is the time when __**ghosts**__ are present, practicing their terror, with __**ghoulish**__ delight." _The wall opens to reveal a fairly bright room with paintings in it.

"…Let's go in there," Ban suggests as Xion runs in. He runs behind quickly as the wall shuts them in.

"Great idea," Xion says sarcastically as they now have no way out.

"Oh, relax," Bane says, beginning to get scared. "If you're scared, we can use a corridor to leave." He holds up his hand to make a corridor, but nothing happens. "Hey, what gives?" he asks, attempting to make a corridor.

"_Welcome, Foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion," _the voice greets. _"I am your host; your ghost host." _The voice chuckles in a small, yet echoing laugh.

"Oh, be quiet!" Bane yells at the ceiling. "Where's the exi-"

"_**You**__ be quiet,"_ the voice replies. Bane slowly turns to look around the room. _"The tour begins here, in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their __**corruptible**__, mortal state."_

Something seems off in this room. _"Kindly step all the way in, please, and make room for everyone."_

"We're the only two here," Bane tells the voice. "Do we really need to step in?" An axe lands just in front of his toes. "…Moving in," he says, jerking Xion over and trying to look fearless.

"_Your cadaverous manner betrays an aura of foreboding,"_ the voice informs them. _"Almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis."_ Bane also notices something doesn't feel right, then stares at the paintings in shock as they appear to be… _"Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm?" _The voice chuckles again. _"And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!" _The voice laughs maniacally as the painting are revealed fully.

What was once a man sitting proudly is now a man, on another man's shoulders, on another man's shoulders, who is sinking in quicksand! What was once a young lady holding a parasol is now the same young lady with the same parasol, over an alligator's open maw, on a tightrope! What once was an elderly lady sitting with a rose in her hand is now the same picture, but with her sitting on a gravestone with a man's head imbedded with an axe! And what was once a man posing proudly is now the same man, with no pants and U.S. flag boxers, atop a barrel of TNT!

"_Of course,"_ the voice continues. _"There's always __**my**__ way."_ The room turns pitch-black, then lightning strikes above, and the duo looks up to see a person, hanging from her neck by a rope, and the lights go out again as a thud is heard and glass breaks above them.

The lights return and all is normal once more. _"Ohh, I didn't mean to frighten you, prematurely." _The voice chuckles as Bane and Xion shake. _"The real chills come later. Kindly step in, please."_

Bane notices a door labeled 'EXIT' and runs through with Xion as the voice laughs behind them. Eventually, the two make it out of the Haunted place.

"What the milkbone was that!?" Xion shouts as they catch their breath.

"I don't know," Bane replies. "Storm?"

**Beats me. I couldn't even see you guys in there. It was like something was blocking me out.**

"…Really?" Bane asks. "Well then this must be where the Fifth Wall is!"

"How so?" Xion asks.

"Where else would the Fifth Wall be, but a place where authors, OCs, and regular people alike are all on an even playing field?" Bane suggests.

**EXCEPT for whoever is protecting the wall? Someone must be guarding it, and I doubt we'll keep ourselves hidden from them for long.**

"What? Since when are you involved?" Bane asks.

**Since there is a power that practically keeps me from blowing my nose in this world. By the way, this is kind of a 'flipside' Disney World; the fiction-universe counterpart to the one in the 'real' world. It's all but the same, if only another side to it.**

"…I'm getting confused," Bane admits, rubbing his forehead. "Let's just get lunch, okay?"

**Fine. But don't expect munny to work. You'll have to use what you got from that swindler-guy earlier.**

"Fine. Xion, what are you hungry for?"

"Something like… a taco," Xion decides.

"Then we go!" Bane announces. "To El Pirito y El Parrito!"

"They've renamed that Tortuga Tavern now," Xion informs him.

"…Wherever the heck pirates and whatnot gather!" Bane changes. "Come on!"

***At Wherever The Heck Pirates And Whatnot Gather! Come On!***

After Bane and Xion get their taco salad, they sit at an indoor table, near the taco bar. "So, what now?" Xion asks.

"Philharmagic," Bane answers. "Remember? _'Once in the land of dream-filled wishes, find the place with singing dishes.' _That must be Philharmagic."

"…They have singing cutlery?" Xion asks.

"More or less," Bane replies. "HEY! While we're waiting, although we could head over now, let's do something else!"

"We just got scared out of our socks," Xion replies. "Seriously, my socks are gone." She lifts up her leg, showing that her socks are indeed gone. "But I still have my shoes. How does _that_ work?"

"How about the Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom thing?" Bane suggests, as though Xion had agreed with him.

"…How about a nap?" Xion questions. "We've been running around all day and we haven't stopped at all! Come on…"

"No! We shall go have fun, if it kills us!" Bane argues.

"No! We shall go rest, if I have to kill you!" Xion rebuttals.

"No talk of killing, unless you're a villain, please," Merlin the wizard says from the fireplace… Did I type that right?

"What?" Bane says, turning to the nearby fireplace, where an unusual lightning crackles as the fire turns green. Soon after a magical portal opens, revealing the wizard Merlin. "Who are you?"

"The wizard, Merlin," Merlin the wizard introduces himself. "And, if I am not mistaken, you are here in pursuit of a powerful magical artifact. Is that right?"

Bane and Xion nod at the fireplace. "Ahh, yes, I thought so," Merlin continues. "Well, in that case, you should leave. There's nothing for you here."

"Oh, cut the bologna!" Bane shouts, leaning back in a glare. "You know the wall's here; heck, you probably protect the thing! That's why you want us to leave!"

"I feel like we're moving kind of fast," Xion comments.

"Well, we have a limited timeframe; Sora or Roxas are gonna figure out where we went eventually, then we'll have competition," Bane reminds her.

"Oh dear," Merlin mutters. "Did you say that more people are coming for the wall?"

"A-HA!" Bane shouts. "So it is here!"

Merlin sighs. "Drat… Yes, it is here; in Disney World, at least." Bane fist-pumps. "However, I cannot merely allow you to get at it!" Merlin continues. "If I were to allow you even near it, you would have to prove yourself as one with the proper qualities to best the temptations of the wall."

"What the Humphrey hop does that mean?" Bane asks. "Is that like a test, or something?"

"Precisely!" Merlin answers. "To determine your values and right-and-wrongs!"

"…Right-and-wrongs?" Bane asks. "What am I, two?"

Merlin sighs. "Oh, come now. Do you really expect me to simply allow you to go into the Fifth Wall as you are? From what I've seen you've stolen a man's wallet, kidnapped people, turned evil at some point in a different story, and, as the 'hip' youngsters say, you crazy!"

"…Well, thanks for that much," Bane replies. "Now, if you don't mind, I must be going. Xion?" Xion nods and gets up, but suddenly Scar and a herd of hyenas rush past, snagging Xion. "…NOOO!" Bane shouts in agony, falling to his knees. "Not Xion! Not the only person I actually liked and trusted! NOOOOOOO!"

Merlin and his portal disappear and Bane stands up slowly. "I shall not," he begins, summoning his black broadswords. "Not, I say, allow them to do this! Storm! Send me some help!"

…**Well, there aren't enough characters on your side, anyways. **_**Ooh borra, tah gorra, makka wangla!**_

Out of a flash of white, Storm appears, white katanas in hand! My personification, Storm, by the way. "Ready to go," Storm says, twirling a katana in one hand.

Bane and Storm rush down Adventureland, but find nothing. "A searching montage would be cool right now," Bane comments.

"Well, if this ever gets turned into a TV show, then maybe there will be," Storm suggests… HEY! If Disney or any of them KH people are listening, write this down! And call me! I own Bane, Storm, AND THE FIFTH WALL! …at least the storyline for it, as well as any other OC's and such.

Eventually, they arrive at the land of Tomorrowland! Soon, Bane spots a hyena! "Filthy mongrel!" Bane shouts, running at the dog. The hyena whimpers and begins to run away. "Storm! Run him around!"

"Gotcha!" Storm says, running to aid Bane. The two quickly run alongside the hyena, and then Bane tackles the dog to Storm, who catches him by the leg.

"Now," Bane begins. "Where is Xion, you flaky bumblebee?"

"…Are you serious, man?" the hyena asks in shock. "What the heck is wrong with you?"

"A lot," Bane replies. "Now where's Xion, puppy!?" Bane shouts, raising his sword to the dog's throat.

The hyena whimpers and attempt to leave, then bites Storm's leg. Storm shouts and let's go of the dog, then jumps on the other leg, holding the bitten one. The hyena runs away, tail between his legs.

"…Did it work?" Storm asks, putting his leg down.

"Yep. Let's go!" Bane replies and the two run after the dog, keeping themselves hidden. Eventually they reach a wall next to the exit of the 'Space Ranger Spin.' The dog then taps the wall with his paw and it opens into a walkway. As the dog goes through, Bane and Storm follow closely.

They walk down a cavernous stairway until they reach a round room with three raised platforms around them. As they walk to the center, the wall closes behind them. They hear a slow, growling chuckle as hyenas fill the two platforms on their sides. On the platform before them comes Scar along with Shenzi, Bonzai (the one that bit Storm) and Ed (his three main hyenas).

"Well, well," Scar begins, sitting regally before our current duo. "What have we here? A couple of delicious morsels, come to feed us?"

The hyenas laugh form all around the room and Storm and Bane summon their swords. "Where is Xion?" Bane demands.

"Oh, never mind her," Scar says passively. "I'd be worried about myself, if I were you." He then chuckled. "Luckily, I'm not." The hyenas rush at the duo, but Storm sends them flying aside with aero spells and Bane uses gravity magic to slam them into the walls. After several hyenas are bested, Scar gives a powerful roar and most of the hyenas flee.

Scar gets back up and his trio of hyenas follow closely. "Oh, you're gonna get it, now," Banzai chuckles.

"Ooh! You ain't even seen him when he's angry, yet," Shenzi adds.

Ed just laughs as Scar leaps down from his platform and begins to circle the two. "Where is Xion!?" Bane repeats.

Scar laughs in a roar. "Why, she's being held for desert," Scar replies. "She's much to light for a whole meal. But you," he growls. "Will be perfect for a first course."

Scar then leaps at them, but is slammed into the ceiling by Bane's gravity magic. "…Now can we go?" Bane asks Storm as the trio of hyenas looks to the flailing Scar in shock.

"As soon as we find Xion," Storm replies.

Bane looks to Scar. "Where's Xion, specifically?" Bane asks.

Scar scoffs. "I wouldn't tell you if-" But then Bane uses his gravity magic to slam Scar from the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor, to the ceiling, to the floor.

"Where's Xion?" Bane asks again.

"…Hidden in the castle," Scar coughs out.

They then leave Scar there and head out the wall (which Bane blows up) and head to the castle!

…**Well that was eventful. Seriously, what's in my head? *takes a peak, sees pirates and ghostbusters reenacting the Boston Tea Party aboard a purple-spotted whale, and stops looking* …I **_**had**_** to ask.**

**Bane: Yeah, I often don't go to that part of your mind. I stay in the Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts and Controlled-Insanity areas.**

…_**Controlled**_**-Inanity? I have that?**

**Bane: You write this thing, don't you?**

…**Oh, right. Forgot. Well, until next time, my friendly people-persons! Dos Veranda!**

**Bane: …Yup.**


	9. Chapter 8: Rivals to the Fifth Wall

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 8: Rivals to the Fifth Wall…**

_Uploaded February 8__th__, 2013_

Bane and Storm rush to the castle and approach the doors. "Halt!" They turn around to find Cornerstone! Roxas and Sora also stand nearby, their keyblades at hand. "We shall take it from here."

Bane turns to Storm, but sees nothing and then turns back to his adversaries. "How did you find me here?" Bane asks. Then Axel steps out from behind the giant. "You!?" Bane shouts. "You traitor!"

"…Traitor?" Axel asks, laughing a little. "By what Roxas and his gang told me, _you_ are the traitor, my friend."

Bane growls at the group. "Look, I'm not even going to the wall right now; Xion is somewhere in the castle and I need to find her." Roxas scoffs in disbelief. "Hey, I need her! She's the only one that hasn't turned on me!"

Roxas steps forward, though stays behind Cornerstone. "You see, Bane, I have something you don't. I've promised my partners to give them some semblance of a reward once we find the Fifth Wall. And, besides that, I'm a lot easier to get along with." A chorus of agreement hits Bane's ears. "So, will you give up fighting me, or must I take Xion, too?"

Bane growls, but a fire spell flies past him and nearly hits Roxas. "You lie, Roxas!" Strom declares with Xion by his side. "You may tell them you'll give them a reward, but the powers of the wall will be too much for you."

Roxas sighs. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he says passively. "So, Xion, will you join me?"

Xion looks over Roxas' assortment of partners and thinks over his offer. "…You know what, Roxas?" she begins. "I think Bane can use all the help he can get right now. I'll stick with him."

Roxas almost jumps out of his skin and even Axel looks surprised. "…Fine," Roxas sighs. "But, remember, if you change your mind… Gang, we're going underground to think of a plan." With that, Roxas, Sora, Axel and Cornerstone head through a corridor to who-knows-where.

"…Why did we let them leave!?" Bane shouts.

"Because they have the advantage right now," Storm replies. "And we need to-" Suddenly Xion 'poofs' away. "…Find Xion…again."

"Oh, not at all!" The duo turns to see Merlin the wizard walking over with Xion in tow.

"Hi, guys!" Xion says. "I was with Merlin the whole time… but I meant what 'I' said; I'm stickin' with you to the wall!"

Bane cracks a tiny smirk, and- "Oh, Xion!" he shouts, running to her.

Xion opens her arms for a hug, but Bane runs past her and hugs a giant coke bottle. "Coke! It's delicious and wonderful!"

"…Well, moving on," Storm says. "Hello, Merlin, nice to see you."

Merlin nods to Storm. "And you, as well. Now, shall we go?" Merlin leads the group into a portal he makes on the wall and they appear in Merlin's Study.

"So, you know Merlin?" Xion asks Storm.

"Sort of," Storm replies. "Halestorming went to Disney World on vacation and did the SotMK thing."

"…SotMK?" Xion asks. "What's that?"

"Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom," Merlin replies. "A tool with which park guests in the real world can view portals to this very dimension, and battle the Disney Villains!"

"…Cool," Xion replies as they all sit around a table.

"Now, the first order of business," Merlin begins. "Is to award you with good news, Bane! You have passed my test!"

Bane jumps up. "Yes! I got a D!" The group stares at Bane. "What? C? …B? …Don't tell me, I got an A!?" Bane celebrates. I'd tell you how, but you may be mentally disturbed… Ah, what the hey.

Bane leaps off the walls, pulls tuna from the fireplace, rips a wonky fart, and punches the unicorn in the corner. "You again!?" the purple unicorn shouts, rubbing its nose with its hoof.

"Spork horse!" Bane shouts at the unicorn, who shoots magic at Bane, slamming him into the wall.

The unicorn shakes its head, sighs, then lies down. "Good night, Merlin," she says.

"Good night, Twilight," Merlin replies as Bane sits down. "The second order of business; I assume you have the map?" The group nods. "Good. Where is it?"

"Zexion has been looking it over," Bane replies.

"Well, that won't do you any good," Merlin replies. "The map will not reveal its truths or secrets until I have seen it. I am, after all, one of the Seven Guardians of the Fifth Wall."

Bane flips his eyeballs in his head. "EW!" Xion shouts, moving back slightly. "That is gross!"

Bane nods. "Yep," he answers. "Just wait 'till I do that thing with my nose. Right, Storm?"

Strom sighs. "Okay, Merlin, I suggest we get Zexion in here with the map, before things get worse."

Merlin nods and opens one of his portal windows. "Corridors of Darkness don't work well in Disney World," he explains as Zexion peeks his head in.

Once he spots Bane he grabs the map and walks in. "Then what about Roxas' gang?" Xion asks.

Merlin laughs a bit. "Oh, I'm sure they'll find their way around. But beware! Roxas is intent on finding the Fifth Wall, no matter what the cost. He will be a powerful adversary, especially given that he knows what he's after, to some degree, and that he is not afraid to spread the word to gain allies."

Zexion then lays the map on the table and they brief him on what has happened. Merlin waves his hands over it, changing the symbols dramatically and turning the raindrop into a cloud. In the top corner, a star appears. "And now, you must solve the riddle yourselves," Merlin announces.

Zexion looks over the map and reads aloud, "_'Now that your valor has been proved, find the location where puppets are roofed.'_ …Could it be-"

"The clue does not point to Disney World," Merlin informs them. "The wall may be in Disney World, but you must first solve the riddles to find it."

The group thinks this over, then Bane stands up. "I've got it! Traverse Town, if you please, Merlin." Merlin opens a portal to Traverse Town. "Now, Zexion, for your own safety, you should come with us. Axel knows that you're helping us decipher the map, and we don't want to lose it… or you," he adds as an afterthought.

Zexion sighs. "I suppose you're right," he concedes. "Fine; I'll come. However, I want some form of protection."

"Bodyguard Storm, reporting for duty!" Storm shouts, standing at attention. He then relaxes his stance and turns to Bane. "You and Xion can handle the tough stuff; Zexion and I will work on the map."

Bane nods and turns to Xion. "Ready team?" he calls. The quartet gets up and heads out Merlin's portal.

Merlin sighs. "Those poor fools. Do they really know what they're getting themselves into?"

***In Traverse Tow- Oh No! Guys, Get Out Of There!***

Too late. As soon as the gang exits Merlin's portal, Roxas' gang attacks them! Cornerstone hurls giant boulders at the group, separating them. Then Roxas runs to fight Bane, Axel rushes to meet Xion, and Sora meets Storm in battle!

Bane quickly dodges a series of slashes from Roxas and then swiftly kicks Oblivion from the blonde's hand, then starts to strike heavily at the blonde, so quickly that Roxas can't retrieve his blade. Then Bane begins to shoot fire and thunder spells at Roxas.

Axel begins by slamming a wave of fire at Xion, which she narrowly avoids. Xion then swings her keyblade straight up and shouts, "Thunder!" and a strike of thunder magic hits Axel from above. Xion and Axel then begin to batter away at each other with long distance tactics as Axel tosses his chakrams at Xion while she tosses her keyblade at him like a boomerang.

Meanwhile, with Sora and Storm, they begin by getting out their playing cards! …Wait, what? "I play Celebi!" Sora shouts. "Whatcha gonna do now?"

Storm silently places a Charizard on the field as Sora squeaks. "I win," Storm announces. "And now I can do this." Storm pulls a conductor's baton from his inner shirt's pocket and begins to wave it in a certain pattern.

All the combatants stop as they hear a sound. They turn and look and, from around a street corner, an army of floating bagpipes comes! The bagpipes play a march as Storm stands at the head. "Aye, laddies!" he shouts in a pretty good Scottish accent, whilst wearing a kilt. "Let's give 'em 'eck!"

The bagpipes swarm the opposition, forcing the villains to attempt to fend off the instruments while still fighting Bane's forces. In the midst, Roxas shouts. "Retreat!" he hollers, and the gang disappears through portals of darkness.

"…Why are you wearing a kilt?" Bane asks Storm as the bagpipes leave.

Storm shrugs. "Just didn't feel right to do that without one, I suppose," he replies. "To Geppetto?"

"To Geppetto!" Bane confirms. The group walks up to Geppetto's and Bane and Xion offer to go in alone, but Storm insists he and Zexion follow, so they do.

"Ahh!" Geppetto greets them. "Welcome back, my strangely dressed friends! Do you want some more soup?"

"NO!" Bane and Xion shout together. "…We need some help with something… Actually, what _do_ we do now?" Bane asks.

Zexion shrugs. "The map only said to come here," he answers, taking said map out and looking it over. He reads further and recites something new. "_'Now that you've found the puppet's hobble, seek ye that which is prone to bobble.'_ …Why must this thing try my every nerve?" he asks, massaging his temples.

Bane looks around and sees a bobble-head of Monstro. No, don't ask; I have no clue. He picks it up and sets it on the map. The words which Zexion have already read turn a dark purple and more words appear in a golden red below them.

Zexion then clears his throat and reads. "_'Next you go to the sandy palace, but, lo and behold, where is the chalice?'_ …Perhaps Agrabah?" he suggests. "Although the 'chalice' bit confuses me."

"To the place where sand gets in places sand should not be!" Bane announces. "Away!" Bane opens a portal and they go in.

**Really, did you expect anything else? …Randomness, you say? …You think this story's gotten too 'normal?' …Well, there is a more stable storyline, I'll admit that, but I'm not taking that away… Add randomness to the stability? …Yes…That might just work… *Grinch-ish Smile***


	10. Chapter 9: Agrabah Thingies!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 9: Agrabah Thingies!**

_Uploaded February 18th, 2013_

***Agrabah's Streets***

Bane and the gang exit into Agrabah's streets. "Okay, first!" Bane begins. "We must come up with a name for my team! Suggestions?"

Zexion shrugs, putting the map in his cloak. "Team Bane?" he offers.

"…Does that sound even remotely weird enough for me?" Bane asks. "Storm?"

"The Bane Squad?" Storm suggests, playing his gameboy.

"…No," the dude replies. "Xion? Anything?"

Xion thinks a moment. "…Bane's Ferpulous Banians?" she suggests.

"…Weird enough, but I won't be able to remember it," Bane says. "Anything else?"

"The Banites!" Storm suggests.

"Bane's Gang," Zexion implies.

"The Marvelous Idiots Combining Excitement & Many Excellent Nothings!" Xion suggests.

Bane puts the letters together in his head. "…M.I.C.E. & M.E.N.?" he asks. "…No. I've got it – shut up! We are the Banes!" Absolute silence. Crickets aren't even chirping. "…How about An acronym?"

"Why?" Storm asks.

"'_B'_ stands for Bane-icious!" Bane starts.

"…Well?" Zexion encourages (for some reason). "What's the rest?"

Bane shrugs. "I was hoping you guys would jump in and come up with the rest. Each word must be something that captures our essences! …So, Xion, you get the next one."

"'_A'_ for Awesome!" Xion decides enthusiastically. "That good?"

Bane nods. "Yup. Zexy! Pick a letter!"

Zexion sighs. "How about _'I'_? For Intelligence?"

Bane agrees. "Good. And, Storm, don't think you're getting out of this," he says as Storm attempts to creep away. "Pick a letter."

"…'_N'_," Storm decides.

"…Now a word to go with it," Bane insists.

"Oh, fine. Noon-goer."

"…Sure, why not," Bane concedes. "And that gives us… B.A.I.N.! …Also pronounced like my name… wow."

"I know, right?" Storm agrees. "It's as though some outside force is creating ironic and funny situations which make us funny, almost like a story."

…**Moving on… **"To the palace!" Bane announces. "Now!"

***At The Palace Now!***

The group approaches the palace of Agrabah, but is stopped at the gates. "The sultan will not accept the likes of you," the palace guard, Rasul, says.

Bane smirks. "Oh, hey Rasul. Hope the birds don't chase you, today."

Rasul turns a shade of pink as the other guards snicker behind him. Rasul turns at them and they shut up quickly. Rasul looks back at Bane and the other members of BAIN, but they are gone.

Inside the palace halls. "Well, now what?" Bane asks.

"We find the chalice," Zexion says. "Like the map says."

Our group heads further in and begins to converse. "So, what do you think Roxas wants?" Storm asks. "Going to the real world isn't all that amazing, in all honesty."

"Oh, right, haven't told you, have I?" Bane says. "The Fifth Wall has some special hidden powers… But I'm not exactly sure what they are."

Storm nods. "Ah… Zexion?"

Zexion shrugs. "I've been researching everything I can, but I haven't found the first mention of the Fifth Wall in any book, novel or record," he reports. "However, I might ask Merlin some things when we return to him." The others look at him quizzically. "Well, we'll have to eventually. He is one of the seven guardians of the wall. Although, I must say I'm curious of who the other six are."

The group now known as BAIN stops at a doorway and opens it for no real reason. They decide to enter into what is a stone staircase. At the bottom, they hear voices and peer in. Inside is Jafar… conversing with Roxas. The group stays hidden as they attempt to listen to their conversation.

"Intriguing," Jafar comments, stroking his freaky beard. "You say that this wall can return my genie powers?"

Roxas nods. "And much more, my friend," he says with a crafty smirk. "However, first we must find it. And enter it, at that."

"Now, there is a group: a young man with black hair and eyes, wearing a cloak like mine, a young girl with the same hair and cloak, blue eyes, and she also has a keyblade. There's also a young man with brown hair and blue eyes, oh, and the left eye has a speck of gold. He wears white-themed clothes and uses white katanas mostly, but he has some methods I'm not sure of, as well. And lastly there's a twenty-or-so year old, purple hair, bangs fall over one eye, kinda short, and he has a map. That map is absolutely necessary to finding the Fifth Wall."

"I see," Jafar mutters, getting up and pacing. "So, you wish me to help you obtain this…map?"

"Yes," Roxas replies. "And, in return, I shall lead you to the Fifth Wall, where you will be given all of your powers back… and with no lamp to hinder you," he adds as Jafar thinks it over.

Jafar shifts his eyes to Roxas. "And how can I trust that what you tell me is true?" he asks.

Roxas chuckles. "Well, I can prove it, if we find the map." Roxas then turns to the doorway and sees BAIN. "And there are the sneaksters who have it."

As Jafar turns to look, the group begins to run. However, they immediately run into Cornerstone and Axel. "Going somewhere?" Axel asks, blocking what little path Cornerstone leaves open.

The group, however, has no chance to answer as Jafar walks outside. "This is the group you spoke of?" he asks Roxas.

Roxas walks out and nods. "The shortest one has the map," he informs the sorcerer. "The map that we need."

Zexion glares at Roxas. "I see you've changed since you left the Organization, Roxas," he says as his Lexicon (his book-weapon) appears. "But you still haven't learned as much magic as I have. Nor has Jafar."

Jafar gives and evil chuckle and raises his staff. "Oh, don't I?" he asks. "We'll see about that."

Suddenly, Jafar, Roxas, Axel and Cornerstone begin swatting around them, as though trying to swat flies. The group looks to Zexion, who is waving his hand over his book. "An illusion," he whispers quietly. "Now's our chance; let's go inside Jafar's room."

The group then sneaks into Jafar's room and closes the door behind them. "I'm not sure how long it will last, so find the chalice quickly!" Zexion instructs.

Bane begins by throwing a rock at a dresser. "…" The rest of the group looks about as Bane goes to the dresser and pulls a golden cup out of the rubble. "Found it," he announces. The group looks in shock, exchanges glances, then leaves through a portal.

***Somewhere New…***

The group exits a portal in a large mansion. "Where are we?" Zexion asks.

"My mansion," Strom replies. "We used it in my other story, and I think it's a safe place to stay, where we can study the map and hide from Roxas' gang."

"Yeah," Bane agrees. "We don't want the IDIOTS to find us."

"…Acronym, or insult?" Storm asks, going toward the kitchen.

"Both," Bane replies. "Imbecilic Dolts, Independently Overanxious and Twittering Simpletons."

"…Dang," Xion comments. "Isn't that just a little harsh?"

"No," Bane replies as Storm comes back in with pizza and wings. "He commandeered my scheme and is abusing the knowledge of the Fifth Wall to get even the villains to help him! If we let him alone, there's no telling who he'll have on his side by the next time we see him!"

Zexion sighs and sits on the long, red couch. "Indeed. Who will he have next? Maleficent?"

Storm sets the food down on a longish table and sits beside Zexion. Xion sits on Storm's other side, then Bane sits on a large, throne-like chair, on the other side of the table. "Well, he's not playing fairly, that's for certain," Storm agrees. "But there isn't that much we can do about it."

They say grace, begin to eat, then Bane begins coughing out his pizza. After Xion smacks his stomach and the food flies out, Bane shouts. "I've got it! Next time we see them, we convince his buddies that he can't lead them to the wall, or help them at all!"

"…How?" Xion asks.

"Simple," Bane answers. "We fart in their faces."

The room sits in utter silence for a moment. "…In more realistic news, I think Zexion and I will stay here and watch you guys," Storm says. "That okay with you, Zexion?"

Zexion nods, getting up with his plate of pizza. "Is there a room for me, somewhere?" he asks.

"And is it better than last time?" Xion adds.

"Yes," Storm replies. "Guys' rooms in the left wing, girls' rooms in the right." Zexion nods and walks back to find his room.

As the remaining trio eats, a thought comes to Bane. "…We need more," he says ominously.

"No, there's more in the kitchen," Storm replies.

"No," Bane goes on, looking straight forward. "More people…"

Storm blinks, just once. "…You aren't serious, are you?" he asks his friend. "Please tell me you aren't."

Bane shakes his head slowly and Storm sighs. "I'm telling you, Storm, he'd never suspect it! If we have more people-"

"Then Merlin will never trust you," Storm interrupts. "And neither will the other guardians of the wall. You just need to fight fairly, even if Roxas isn't. Think about it, with Zexion and I hiding out here, Roxas'll never find the map, and he won't get the guardians to help him if he's blabbing about it from here to Timbuktu."

Bane groans and Xion burps loudly. She blinks twice and coughs a little. "Excuse me," she says quietly, getting up. "I'm going to bed. Let me know when we leave… Wait, when do we leave?"

Bane shrugs, snuggling into his throne-chair. "I'll let you know," he says, starting to drift into sleep.

Xion sighs and turns to Storm. "Does it get easier?" she asks.

"What? Dealing with him, or loving him?"

Xion sputters a bit. "What!? I don't love him – I don't even have a heart!"

Storm wavers his eyebrows. "Oh, don't you?" he asks. "Or don't you tease and taunt him with your hidden displays of… _amour?_" He says the last part in a bad French accent.

"…Please don't try to talk in French," Xion requests. "It almost sounds like a bad Italian mixed with some sort of Russian and maybe a little spitting."

Storm pouts and Bane begins to snore like a walrus, prompting Xion to head to her room. Storm sighs as Bane sleeps on the couch, then heads back into the Mansion's secret planning room.

As he walks in, he reminisces slightly about the pranks he and Bane had pulled off from here. "Ahh, good times," Storm says fondly. "…Grey?"

Grey appears in a flash of Grey lightning. "Yes, Storm?"

"Why is your assistant helping the I.D.I.O.T.S.?"

"…You'll need to be more specific," Grey requests sitting at a round table-desk-thingy.

"It's the name Bane came up with for Roxas' group," Storm replies, sitting at the other side of the table. "They're searching for the Fifth Wall, like Bane."

Grey thinks this over. "Who is in this little gang?"

"Roxas, as the leader, Sora, Axel, Cornerstone, and possibly Jafar."

"Jafar!?" Grey shouts. "You're joking, aren't you?" Storm shakes his head. "…Well, I'm surprised… Cornerstone? You're sure?"

"Is there another nine-foot tall giant who wields a super-strong weapon and uses earth magic with ease?" Storm asks with a lifted brow.

"…No, I suppose not- What about Lexaeus?" Grey asks with hope.

"…And he wears brown armor." Grey snaps his fingers and grumbles. "So, any idea why?"

Grey sparks with some lightning and nearly roars. "No, but I can tell you one thing! Storm! You are a hero, and I am a villain. In fact, in this author's other story that he's doing behind closed doors, we are hero-villain counterparts. However! I shall assist you and Bane until you next meet Cornerstone! Then, oh yes, then I shall have my answers!" As he exclaims the last part, lightning crawls around his gauntleted fist.

"Yo, bumblebees," Bane greets from the door. "What's the hippidy-happidy-hops?"

"…Must you be absolutely insane?" Grey asks Bane.

"Oh, absolutely not," Bane replies, sitting at the table. "But I've tried being sane, intelligent, calm, relaxed and lazy, even, and I've found the most enjoyment is in absolute, utter and complete insanity… But it's easier for people to read if I'm somewhere between normal and absolute, bat-guano crazy. Right, Stromm?"

"…You just called me Stromm," Storm says. "Why?"

"Fun, doofus," Bane and Grey reply in unison. "Now can I have an army of fictional characters?" Bane asks with some hope.

"No," Storm replies firmly.

Grey looks between the two. "An army?" he asks with curiosity. "How so?"

Bane is about to answer Grey, but frying pans fall from the sky, KOing the two. Storm stretches and throws Bane and Grey into bedrooms and heads to his own bed (in the secret planning room). "I need some sleep." As he settles under his covers he relaxes, then slowly drifts off to sleep.

***5 Minutes Later…***

A rooster crows, whilst standing on one leg, upon a meteor lazily floating about Storm's mansion. Didn't I mention that there isn't any ground outside the mansion? Oh well. It's really just blue sky, with random floating rocks around it. The rooster crows again, but is turned into fried chicken after Storm snipes it from his roof. "I have a sniper rifle, _and a scope_, turkey!" he shouts, going back to bed an efficiently scaring the dingle-berries out of the nearby winged creatures. Including a Zubat…Again, don't ask. I just don't know anymore.

**Bane: …Well, remind me not to annoy Storm.**

**Wouldn't do any good if I did, would it?**

**Bane: …Not likely. And, we're back, people! There's another of Halestorming's pokemon chapters up, too!**

**Yep. So enjoy. ENJOY IT…**

**Bane: …You like CAPS too much.**

**I DO NOT! YOU SIMPLY DON'T APPRECIATE IT LIKE I DO!**

**Bane: …Sure.**


	11. Chapter 10: Riddles, Poodles and Mazes!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 10: Riddles and Poodles and Mazes! Oh My!**

_Uploaded February 25th, 2013_

On the rise of the Irish sun (seriously, the sun has an accent), our group awakens. "B.A.I.N.! Assemble!" Bane commands in a voice that still haunts me to this day…it's creepy.

Within moments Xion is in the room, hair a mess. "Why is it five in the morning?" she asks. "I thought we were gonna wait until-"

"Yes, I had originally planned to be up at six," Bane interrupts. "But things change. Now, we are off!"

"Not quite yet," Zexion says, entering the room. "We still need to get the next clue. Bane? The chalice, please."

Bane hands Zexion the chalice from his nose. "…Good grief, man; what is wrong with you?" Xion asks after a moment.

"You really need to stop asking me that," Bane says as Zexion places the chalice on the cloud, which instantly changes into a flame and more words are added, like last time.

Zexion clears his throat and reads. "_'Now you're close to nearing the end. Find next the spellkeeper's friend.'_ …There you have it."

"To the Mysterious Tower!" Bane immediately announces.

"…Did you even give that any thought?" Storm asks. "Or was that the first thought that came to mind?"

"Actually, I think Yen Sid is probably one of the Fifth Wall's guardians," Bane corrects. "And he is a spellcaster, too."

Storm nods with approval. "Nicely done, then. Well, you two had best be on your way, then." Storm grabs out a couple of donuts and throws them to Xion and Bane. "Breakfast – it's the most important meal of the day!"

With that, Xion and Bane disappear into a portal, off to see the wizard!

***The Mysterious Tower, Of All Places***

Bane and Xion walk out of the portal, at the base of the tower. "And now, we fight!" Bane announces as he rushes to the door.

"…Why?" Xion asks. "There isn't anyone here."

"Oh, so you think," Bane says ominously. "Forward!" They climb the tower with no troubles. "Huh. Guess I was wrong," Bane says as they enter Yen Sid's room.

"Hello, Bane," Yen Sid greets without looking up from his massive book. "And Xion. To what do I owe the… surprise?"

Bane gives a gentlemanly bow. "Yen Sid," he greets. "I seek… the wall."

Yen Sid closes his book slowly and looks up at Bane. "The wall?" he asks. "What wall?"

"The Fifth Wall," Bane says, looking for any sign of emotion in Yen Sid's face. "Heard of it?"

"I have," Yen Sid admits. "Though I do not know why you would invest interest into such a dangerous thing."

"Dangerous?" Xion asks. "What do you mean?"

"…Obviously, you know that the wall exists. And by now you know that I, like Merlin, am one of the Seven Guardians of the Fifth Wall."

Bane nods. "Yeah, we guessed that… Could you tell us who the others are?"

"No, I cannot," the wizard replies. "It is forbidden us to reveal any more information about the wall than necessary."

Bane begins to pout. "Well, that stinks… Can you help us get to it, then?"

"Not yet," Yen Sid begins, getting up. "First you must prove to me that you are strong enough to defend the wall. Once you reach it, _if_ you reach it, you _will_ be pursued."

Bane pulls out his swords. "I can defeat any monster!" he declares. Yen Sid gives a smirk and opens a corridor of light – a square door of swirling light.

"Roxas is giving his all into putting together a team to best you, and get the map from you," Yen Sid informs them. "If you truly wish to earn my approval and advice… then you must learn to become strong."

"…I am strong," Bane replies. Yen Sid chuckles and shakes his head. "What?"

Yen Sid walks into the other room. "You shall figure it out. For now, your first step lies beyond this door." And with that, Yen Sid leaves the two alone.

Xion contemplates these findings. "…So, should we go into the-"

"Buffalo wings," Bane interrupts, sniffing the air. "In the portal." Bane runs into the portal and Xion follows closely.

***In The Land Of Confusion…***

Bane and Xion exit the portal to find that they are in a square room, with walls of stone. Oh yeah, there's some buffalo wings on a table, too. Bane then begins to eat the wings as the portal closes.

"…We're in a box," Xion announces. "Like Christmas presents."

"Yep," Bane agrees, finishing off the wings. "Now we wait."

"For what?" Xion asks.

Suddenly a wall opens, giving way to an enormous labyrinth. "That," Bane answers. They then begin to walk through the maze and come to a dead end. On the wall is a symbol inside a misty circle; a rusty scythe.

The duo exchanges a glance and walk up to the wall. Bane then taps the wall and a portal appears. The two then enter the portal as Batman flies overhead.

***In The Lair Of A Madman…***

Bane and Xion exit a portal, now in a dark, castle-like lair, that is underground. They know that it is underground because there is soil outside the windows. "…Why are there windows underground?" Xion asks.

"You know, there are many more questions you could ask other than that one," Bane comments. "Why do you pick that?"

Xion shrugs as they hear a scream from inside a nearby room. "GRRAAHHHH!" someone shouts in a raspy, dark voice. "Cornerstone, you shall **pay**!" Then Cornerstone comes running out the door with a viper made of magical, gray lightning chasing him.

Cornerstone then uses earth magic to ground the snake and stands his ground. Grey then comes hovering out of the room, ethereal blades protruding from the wrists of his gauntlets, nearly four-foot-long. "Traitor!" Grey shouts, shooting lightning balls that Cornerstone guards against with his staff. "Take these deadly balls of lightning in the face, like a man!" Grey shouts, shooting a barrage of said balls from his gauntleted palms.

Cornerstone ducks, forcing Bane and Xion, who are just behind him, to do the same, narrowly avoiding the deadly spark-ball. Then Grey notices them. "Ahh, Bane and Xion, I presume?" Grey asks.

Cornerstone turns to look and jumps back so that he can see everyone… However, they _are_ in a hallway, with limited room, so Cornerstone merely bounces off the wall. "…What is this wall made of?" he asks Grey.

"That would be gelatin," Grey replies. "I find that it relaxes me when I- Bane, get off of that!" Bane is not eating the wall, if that's what you had guessed. Actually, he's poking a wall ornament.

Bane turns to Grey and pokes the thingy again. "Make me," he challenges.

"Very well!" Grey replies, rushing past Xion and Cornerstone and flying over Bane, then landing behind him. "Lightning!" As Grey shouts, he throws his gauntleted hand to the sky and covers the ceiling in sparks. He then proceeds to laugh the bat-guano out of anyone unfortunate enough to hear that maniacal laugh. "Strike!"

A bolt of gray lightning strikes at Bane, who sidesteps the bolt quickly and begins evading the attacks. Grey then looks over and notices Cornerstone trying to escape through a corridor of darkness. "Xion! Stop him!" Grey commands.

"You aren't my boss!" she argues.

"Xion, stop him, please!" Bane shouts politely as he dances around the lightning.

"…What are you doing?" Grey asks as Bane is literally dancing around the lightning. And dancing well, might I add.

"I call it 'Disney Style'," Bane replies. "It's the same as Gangnam, but I made my own lyrics to it."

"…May I ask what they are?" Grey asks as Xion and Cornerstone duel behind him.

"No, no you can't," Bane replies, flipping over to him and making the lightning strike Grey.

"…You know my own lightning won't hurt me, right?" Grey asks as the sparks begin to fade from the ceiling. "Now, if you are done poking my stuff…" He turns to the other duo and sees Xion taped to the ceiling and Cornerstone in a giant teacup with a lid on it.

"…What on earth happened here?" Grey and Bane ask as Cornerstone punches through the cup.

Xion somehow shrugs and looks at Bane. "I blame Roxas," she says as Cornerstone breaks out of the cup.

"Actually, I saw Jafar and Sora before the cup appeared around me," he informs the group. "And then I was in a cup."

"…Cornerstone," Grey begins. "What does Roxas have on you?"

"…Nothing, Grey," Cornerstone responds. "However, he was promising me some things… But now that this has happened… I shall resign from his group."

"What!?" The group turns and sees Roxas, Sora and Jafar; the first of whom is very, very angry. "How dare you!? I was going to give you anything you wanted!"

Cornerstone chuckles. "Roxas, what do you think the wall is?" he asks. "Neither you, nor I, nor anyone but the guardians know the secrets of the wall. What makes you think you even have the _right_ to seek it out?"

Roxas glares at the group some more, then calms himself a bit. "Fine, then," he says in the tone of a grudge. "Jafar, see if you can get the map out of them."

Jafar steps forward with a wicked grin. "My pleasure," he says, lifting his staff and turning it into a giant cobra.

Grey then laughs maniacally and his ethereal blades recede into his gauntlets. "Jafar," he begins with wide eyes and an equally vicious grin. "You've no idea whom you are up against." From the small canister on the side of his gauntlet, a staff grows out; not a very special staff, but an ethereal, gray boe-staff, and then the cool part. A curved blade shoots out from the end of the staff, creating an ethereal, gray, five-foot scythe.

Grey then begins to hover over the floor and rushes the giant cobra, scythe drawn back. He then fights, blade-to-fang, with the giant snake, striking and slashing every chance he can while shooting the occasional lightning ball.

Meanwhile, Bane runs at Roxas while waving a rolled-up magazine in the air. He then smacks Roxas with it like a puppy. "Bad Roxy!" Bane shouts. "Bad, bad Roxy!" He then proceeds to smack Roxas senseless with the paper as Sora begins to back away.

And Sora backs right into Cornerstone, who has just freed Xion. "Now then," Cornerstone begins, cracking his knuckles. "Who was it that put me in the cup? Was it you?" Sora begins to shake. "Or was it him?" he asks, pointing to Jafar.

"JAFAR! IT WAS JAFAR!" Sora screams, backing away and into Bane's line of fire… You do realize his 'fire' is a rolled-up newspaper, right? …Just making sure.

"…Bad Sora!" Bane shouts loudly, changing tactics. Sora screams and begins to run, but suddenly stops.

"Hey, wait a second!" he says, stopping Bane. "I have a keyblade! What in Kingdom Hearts am I running from you for!?" He then summons the Kingdom Key, goes into Valor Form -

***Somewhere In Disney Castle***

Donald and Goofy sit at a table with King Mickey, discussing some unusual rumors that have been circulating between the worlds. "So, in conclusion, we can agree that this 'wall' is a powerful magical relic that has unknown powers?" the king asks his subjects.

Donald mutters, "This is ridiculous," in that difficult-to-understand accent of his and Goofy straightens in his seat.

"Well, if you ask me, your majesty," Goofy begins. "I-" And then Goofy disappears in a flash of light.

"…Goofy?" Mickey asks the air. "Where'd he go?"

"Ahh," Donald sighs. "Peace and quiet."

***Back With The Nitwits In Grey's Lair (Yes, That's What This Place Is)***

- and summons Ultima beside his first. "Have at thee!" he shouts, running at the fleeing Bane.

Meanwhile, Grey has vanquished Jafar's snake and approaches the scowling villain. "Anymore tricks up your sleeve, Jafar?" Grey asks, hand tightly gripping the handle of his ethereal scythe.

Jafar shouts and slams the ground with the staff that has now returned to him. Suddenly, he turns into his snake form, a much larger, smarter, fiercer form than that of his staff's transformation. "…Oh bugger," Grey mutters as he dodges Jafar, who had lunged at him.

As the two villains duel, Cornerstone approaches from beside the fight (if you're wondering how all this fits in a hallway, it doesn't; they moved into a large ballroom as they were fighting). He then focusses his magic and begins launching boulder-after-boulder at the snake, some slamming into his head and making him very discombobulated.

Grey takes this chance and rises high into the air. "Shadega!" he shouts with vicious zeal. Hundreds of small, black shards fly from his cape, slashing at Jafar and returning the sorcerer to his human form. Jafar then raises a barrier to block the shards. "HAHAHA!" Grey laughs maniacally. "You know something about darkness spells, Jafar?" he asks as he prepares to use magic. "Most of them _break barriers_! _**SHADEGA!**_"

As they battle, Bane and Sora duel, blade to blade. However, as Bane only has swords whilst Sora has keyblades… Well, you can guess who's winning.

"GAHH!" Bane shouts, falling backward as Sora runs at him. Bane pulls something from his pocket. What is it? What could it be? What's he doing? OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T WATCH! …Huh? You're waiting for me to tell the story? …Oh, right. Forgot that.

Bane throws a thingy at Sora, who knocks it aside with one keyblade. Roxas then steps beside Sora as they stare down Bane. "…Anybody?" Bane calls out. "Anyone? A little help, please? …Well, I had a good run."

As Roxas and Sora rush Bane, Axel appears from nowhere! …Okay, he used a corridor. Sue me for trying to have a little fun… Okay, don't sue me. Please.

"Axel?" Sora asks in surprise.

Roxas grins. "Good timing," he tells his friend. "I figured something crazy would happen and Bane would escape again, leaving me in second place, **again**."

"Well, things have come full-circle now, haven't they?" Bane asks with a chuckle. "I had a vendetta against you, and now you have a vendetta against me… The world's funny like that, huh?"

Roxas scowls at Bane and pulls Oblivion up into battle position. Bane sighs as Roxas runs toward him and slashes right through Bane!

…Bane does nothing; not even flinch. Suddenly, the slashed Bane disappears as Roxas and his allies look on in shock. "But, how!?" Roxas shouts. The trio hears a whistle behind them and turns to see FOUR Banes. "…Meep."

"Like 'em?" one Bane asks, hanging from a low-hanging chandelier.

"Duplication spell," another says from atop a piano. "Got it from the cloaked guy in BBS."

"He liked pancakes," the dullest-looking Bane says, sitting on a spiked railing… Read that sentence again and **visualize it**… Yeah.

"…Why did we give him the least brains?" the fourth asks, standing on a carpet. "…Shag," he adds, rubbing his feet on said carpet.

"…Are you sure you weren't referring to yourself?" the one on the chandelier asks.

The carpet-walking Bane walks over to the chandelier-hanging Bane and pokes him, showing off the wonderfully shocking power of static electricity. "…Who's stupid now?" carpet-walking Bane asks as the former chandelier-hanging Bane twitches on the ground, then disappears.

"…You idiot!" the one on top of the piano shouts. "Now we only have three!" The one on the railing then pokes a spike and disappears. "…Two… Go get them!" he shouts, leaping at Roxas and knocking him back. The other Bane pulls out a bazooka!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sora objects holding up his arms in a sad attempt of defense. "Time out! When did you get that!?"

"Mebay!" the Bane replies, charging the cannon. "It's fantastic!" the bazooka fires, but Sora and Axel dodge. Then the shot heads straight for Bane and Roxas!

Roxas attempts to run, but Bane holds himself and Roxas in the line of fire! "What are you doing, you idiot!?" Roxas shouts as the blast nears. "We're both doomed if we don't move!"

The Bane smirks. "Yep," he replies. "But… I'm just a copy."

The blast explodes, doing terrible damage to most of Grey's lair. Said villain walks upon the scene, angry beyond comprehension. "…guhh… bbbbrrrr… mmmmmm…" Grey sputters.

Suddenly, from the debris, Roxas' hand reaches out, followed by his foot, then his head, and his butt. "…Anyone wanna tell me why I'm still stuck?" Roxas asks, trying to wiggle out.

"Not really," Xion replies, standing over him. "So, are you gonna give up chasing the Fifth Wall, and us, now?"

"…Why would I do that?" he asks. "Axel! Sora! Jafar!"

"Umm, Jafar left," Sora informs him. "He said you were 'Spoiling the talents of the worlds' greatest sorcerer,' I think."

"And I really don't wanna go after this thing in the first place," Axel admits with a shrug. "I'd rather just go back to Twilight Town and have ice cream. Wanna come?"

"…RAAAAAAHHH!" Roxas screams leaping from the rubble. "We're almost there, you fools!" he shouts, angry beyond tomato paste. "And you want to give up!? With the Fifth Wall I shall finally have Kingdom Hearts! …Did I say that out loud?"

The whole of the group stares at Roxas in shock as Bane leaps up and punches him in the face, then shoots magic at him. "Reveal!" Bane shouts. 'Roxas' face changes, as well as his skin and hair. They shift and warp into that of… Young Xehanort!

The groups gasp as Xehanort leaps back from Bane with a scowl. "How did you know?" Xehanort asks.

Bane points upward. "I did not!" he admits proudly. "But Roxas only ever wanted to free Kingdom Hearts, not have it, stupid."

"Roxas!" Axel and Xion shout in unison. They summon their weapons and stare down the young Xehanort. "Where is Roxas?!" they demand.

Young Xehanort smirks as a portal appears around him. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks as he disappears.

"…Well this is getting complicated," Bane admits, scratching his head.

"Yo!" Axel shouts, stomping over to Bane. "You going after him?"

"…Well, we both want to get to the Fifth Wall, and have it for ourselves… So, probably, yes."

Axel desummons his chakrams in a flame. "Then count me in!" he announces with a smirk. "I'm gonna find Roxas no matter what it takes."

Bane nods. "Good! Who else is with me?" No one speaks. "…Dang. Am I that bad?" Bane asks.

"Not as bad as I," Grey replies, a vicious smirk forming. "But I think I'll go after the Fifth Wall with _my team_."

"…Sigh," Bane sighs. "Well, it can't be helped. Where's the exit?" Bane asks.

Grey directs them to portal of darkness, which Bane, Xion and Axel step through.

**Bane: Chaos! Insanity! Bagels! Mystery! And Betrayal!**

**Oh, chill out. Yes, Roxas was really Xehanort! But, it was really Roxas back in the first chapter…Can you guess when they swapped?**

**Bane: First guy who guesses correctly gets a strong input of a world we go to!**

**Yeah! Wait, what?**

**Bane: Review, people! Or PM, I don't care!**


	12. Chapter 11: Magic Mirror on the Wall

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 11: Magic Mirror on the Wall…**

_Uploaded March 10__th__, 2013_

Bane, Xion and Axel walk through a corridor, into Storm's mansion's living room. "YO!" Bane announces. "We got Axel back, people!"

"People?" Axel asks as the corridor closes behind him. "I know you got Zexy helping you now, but who else is there?"

Storm skates in on roller skates and skids to a halt before Axel. "Axel!" Storm greets, hugging him. "We missed you so!"

"So?" Axel asks, pushing Storm off. "So what?"

"A needle pulling thread," Storm replies, walking back to the kitchen, still on skates. "And 'La' is a note to _follow_ 'So'… Y'all hungry?"

Axel and Xion rush into the kitchen, which has an Asian Buffet within it. After filling their plates, everyone seats themselves around the dining table. "So," Storm begins as Zexion walks in. "The younger Xehanort, huh?"

Bane spits his drink onto the flambe, dousing it. "How'd you know!?" he shouts.

Axel, who had just reached for the flambe, pulls his hand back. "No thank you," he says, grabbing some General Tso's chicken, instead.

"We can watch you on Storm's monitor," Zexion replies, sitting down with his own plate of food. "It was rather shocking, actually… Storm flew into the wall." At the last part Zexion points to the back wall, showing a dent in the shape of Storm.

"…Well, it _was_ a plot twister," he mutters, eating some chicken. "So now what? I also saw that Grey's making his own expedition."

"We could just go around looking for trouble," Axel suggests with a smirk. "I mean, it's gonna happen anyways."

"I like having him back!" Bane announces, smiling. "We shouldn't have let him go!"

Xion shrugs. "You didn't, remember? He punched you in the face, once we got to Disney World," she reminds him.

Bane stops smiling and glares at Axel rather menacingly. "…You are sad, strange little man," Axel comments.

"…Little bit," Bane agrees. "But I need a break… Storm?" he asks Storm. "You trust Zexy?"

Storm nods. "We had a lovely little chat about stuff," Storm says, giving Bane a calm, warm smile.

Bane nods back and opens his mouth to speak, but stops short. "…What did you talk about?" he asks wearily, looking to Zexion for some kind of hint.

Zexion shrugs and Storm stands. "_Things…_" Storm begins ominously. "Things like… plans… and walls… and secrets…"

"How could you tell him!?" Bane shouts at Zexion. "You know we can't tell him!"

"I didn't tell him!" Zexion argues. "He tricked you, you idiot!"

"…Oh," Bane says as Storm walks over.

"Okay, I know you're hiding something," Storm says. "And I know you don't want me to know, BUT I'll make you an offer."

"What kind of offer?" Bane asks.

"The kind you can't refuse," Storm says in a fair imitation of the godfather. "What say you tell me this 'big secret', and I will give you… three wishes."

Bane gives an enormous smirk. "Anything I want?" he asks.

"Up-bup-bup!" Storm stops him. "Not quite… Anything, within reason… and IXNAY on the wishing for more wishes! Capiche?"

Bane thinks for a moment and presses a button on his jacket, once again blocking me off from the… Well, at least Storm's in there this time.

***Bane Rocks, You Pale In Comparison! …Yes, It's Me***

I turn to Storm and smirk. "Very well," I agree. "But you can't tell anyone!"

Storm nods. "Alright. What is it?" he asks.

"The Fifth Wall!" I begin. "Can make characters as powerful, in the fictional world, as authors!"

Storm's eyes bulge, then he thinks for a minute. "Well, that explains a lot," he says. "Including why Young Xehanort's after it…"

"Indeed," Zexion agrees. "The Fifth Wall could very well place Kingdom Hearts, as well as the X-Blade, into his hands."

"I pronounce it Kye," I say randomly. Now I think Storm'll be back any second, so… Huh, where is he?

***POLO!***

Bane flinches as I shout 'POLO!' into the air, then glares at the camera… NEVER LOOK AT THE CAMERA!

Bane sighs and gets up. "Alright, my first wish!" he announces. "I want the magic mirror from Snow White's world!"

Storm's eyes widen as he shrugs. "Nice wish, actually," he congratulates. He then uses an enormous amount of magic to place the magic mirror onto the wall in the living room.

"To the mirror!" Bane shouts, running in. Everyone else finishes their food, then walks in to an impatient Bane. "And now I summon the spirit of the mirror!" He turns to the mirror and holds up his hands dramatically. "…How does that go, again?"

Storm sighs, pushes Bane aside and stands before the mirror. "Slave in the magic mirror," he begins. "Come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee." The mirror mists and then flames erupt through the glass "Speak! Let me see thy face." The magic mirror's mask-like face appears in the mirror and Storm steps aside to allow Bane to stand before the spirit of the mirror.

"What wouldst thou know, my Sir?" the mirror asks Bane as he steps before it.

"…What is the meaning of life?" Bane asks.

"The truest meaning of life is to be healed. Read, good sir, and all shall be revealed," the mirror answers.

"…Wow," Bane answers. "I think he's right."

"Of course I'm right," the mirror replies. "I'm always right."

"Oh yeah?" Axel challenges. "Why is Xion unbeatable at Smash Bros?"

"In all things lies a spark of youth. More or less, her secret is truth. If thou wouldst have a weakness here, it would be pandemonium and fear."

"…What the heck does that mean?" Axel asks the mirror.

"It's not my fault if you can't figure it out," the mirror replies. "It only means you aren't all that bright in the first place."

Axel jumps back. "Why you-" Axel leaps at the mirror, but Storm and Xion hold him back.

Zexion then steps before the mirror. "I think it's about time we asked it something _useful_," he says leaning toward the glass. "Where is Roxas?"

Everyone stops to listen to the mirror's answer. "The one you seek lies between that which is darkness and that which is light. To open the doors, you will have to fight."

"…Well, that gives us a starting point," Zexion says, going to the couch and sitting down. "If nothing else."

"True," Bane agrees. "Well then, Number 6, I wouldn't get comfortable, if I were you."

Zexion turns to Bane and raises his one visible eyebrow. "Why not?" he asks with suspicion.

"Because you," Bane begins by pointing his finger. "Are leading our team into battle, today!"

Zexion stares at Bane. "What?" he asks.

"Yep! You, along with Xion and Axel, are gonna go after Roxas!" Zexion blinks. "…Oh, just get ready."

And, after much goading and insisting, along with a few threats, Zexion and his crew make ready to set sail… Sorry, I've been watching the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

***Somewhere Other Than Storm's Mansion Or The World That Never Was, But Somewhere That Has Already Been Visited***

Zexion, Axel and Xion exit a portal in Agrabah, in the middle of the desert. "So, why are we in the desert?" Axel asks as the portal closes.

"Who knows?" Xion asks. "Maybe Roxas is here?"

"Actually, no," Zexion corrects, beginning to walk toward the city. "But Storm says that Xehanort was spotted here, attempting to re-recruit Jafar. So, if we follow Xehanort…"

"We find Roxas," Xion finishes as she and Axel follow the purple-haired Nobody. "Makes sense to me."

As they reach the city, a crowd runs by in mass hysteria. "…Why was that crowd in mass hysteria?" Axel asks.

"Perhaps that's why," Zexion says, pointing to a few of the 40 thieves, who are rampaging down the street.

One stops before them on horseback. "Your valuables, now! Or face the wrath of the 40 thieves!" he demands.

Zexion chuckles. "How cute," he muses. "Axel, Xion, they think we're frightened by them."

Axel and Xion smirk as they summon their weapons. "Well, I'm up for a good fight," Axel says, twirling a chakram. "Xion?"

Xion smacks the horse on its rear and it gallops away, the thief still in the saddle. "For Roxas!" she shouts, running at another of the thieves.

Thus Axel and Xion duel with the thieves as Zexion examines the area. However, the largest thief, Saluk, blocks his way. "Going somewhere, mouse?" he asks, lifting his golden claw to Zexion's face.

Zexion smirks and leaps back, summoning his lexicon. "Indeed," he replies. "As are you." With that, Zexion waves his hand over his book, putting an illusion over Saluk. Saluk's eyes widen in horror as he backs away and then runs, screaming.

Axel and Xion walk over, having defeated the other thieves. "What did you make him see?" Axel asks.

Zexion chuckles as they walk toward the palace. "Oh, I just brought back a little childhood fear of his. One should never underestimate… mice."

Once the team nears the palace, they contact Storm and Bane via videophone. "Storm? Storm? This is Number 6, calling Thunderstorm. Do you read me?"

Storm's image appears on the phone. "Yo, Number 6! You at the palace?"

Zexion nods at the phone. "Affirmative. Orders?"

Bane pushes his way onto the screen. "Bring me some of those Agrabanian spices!" Bane demands. "And a taco!"

Storm pushes Bane off and looks back into the screen. "See if you can find Xehanort, and relay anything you can back. But don't, I repeat, _**do not**_ engage him in battle. He's way too powerful for any of you to take on. If anything goes wrong, call us in. Comprende?"

Zexion nods. "Agreed. Number 6, Number 8 and Keyblade Queen, out." Zexion hangs up the phone. "Xion, why did you want the codename 'Keyblade Queen'?"

"It's cooler than 'Number 14'," she replies with a shrug. "That and I _am_ the Keyblade Queen!" she adds, lifting her keyblade to the sky!

…Anyways, they then move on to going through the palace, down to the basement, and up to the door of Jafar's secret laboratory. "And why, now, should I help you, boy?" they hear Jafar say.

"Why not?" they hear the voice of the young Xehanort ask. "The Fifth Wall is as powerful as one could dream. Not to mention the powers it grants one."

They hear Jafar scoff and Zexion begins streaming it to Storm and Bane. "And what more will I gain now than I did before?"

"Well," Xehanort begins, his voice seeming to come from multiple directions. "This time… we have leverage."

Zexion falls forward as Xehanort has pushed him. Zexion then looks inside and sees Xehanort next to Jafar. "…Weren't you just behind me?" he asks.

"I am," Xehanort replies from behind him. "Don't you know who Bane got that duplication spell from, in the first place?"

Axel and Xion summon their weapons, but Xehanort summons a shining, blue chain that grabs them and throws them into the room. "You think you're a match for me?" he asks with a laugh. "Nice try."

"So says you!" Xehanort turns and is met with the triple-smack of a wet noodle to the face, causing the duplicate to disappear. As the real Xehanort looks at Bane, who is holding a wet noodle, said OC walks in with rage. "Rotten, fart-laden goose!"

"…What in the world goes on in your mind?" Xehanort asks, summoning his keyblade. "Really, I'm genuinely interested."

Suddenly, Storm falls from the ceiling, landing behind Xehanort with his twin katanas. "You really wouldn't understand if you tried," he says. "En guarde!"

And, with that, Xehanort and Storm begin to duel. As they do, Bane turns to the group. "Zexy, Axy, Xiony, we go!" he shouts, opening a portal. "Now!"

The trio begins to run through, but is blocked off by a barrier. "Well, I may have doubts in this _wall_," Jafar begins, hovering toward them. "But I do believe that I can regain some of my powers with that… book of yours."

Zexion glares at Jafar as he summons his book and creates six copies of himself. "Go ahead and try," he challenges.

**Yes, I am getting back to my work. **

**Bane: Well, you keep saying that…**

…**Don't you have a wall to find?**

**Bane: Oh yeah. *runs back into the story***

…**Yup, we have utterly destroyed the Fourth Wall… Next on the agenda, anyone? :)**

**Storm: How about time travel?**

…**Why do you think Young Xehanort is here? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Storm: You scare me.**

…**I scare my own personification… nice.**


	13. Chapter 12: Castle Climb

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 12: Castle Climb…**

_Uploaded March 19__th__, 2013_

Jafar first shoots fireballs at the copies, leaving no Zexion behind. "What?" Jafar asks, looking around for the disappeared Zexion.

"Over here." Jafar looks to see Zexion… beside Lexaeus. "Number Five, what say you show him not to mess with us, hmm?" Lexaeus silently hefts his axe-sword over his shoulder and rushes toward Jafar.

"Fools!" Jafar shouts, firing several blizzaga spells, which go right through Lexaeus. "An illusion," Jafar smirks with realization. "Well then, I suppose I can just walk right throu-" But, just as Lexaeus approaches Jafar, he slams his axe into the evil sorcerer's midsection, knocking him into the wall.

Zexion chuckles as the fake Lexaeus disappears. "I am the master of illusions," he informs Jafar, as the bearded weirdo struggles to get up. "An illusion with my full focus behind it can go through anything I desire, and yet hit just as hard as the real thing, as well."

Jafar swiftly gets up and summons a giant serpent to fight Zexion. "And now, you'll face _my_ magic!" he shouts venomously. The serpent rams into the ground Zexion is at, but goes straight through the Zexion, leaving an explosion of fire in its place that engulfs the snake. "What!?"

"You don't think I'd leave myself _that_ open to attack, do you?" Zexion asks from the air.

Meanwhile, as Storm, Xion, Axel and Bane attempt to hold off YX, things aren't going so well… Also, I've just been told that you guys don't all know that YX mean Young Xehanort, so I'll just call him Xehanort.

"Ready to give up yet?" Xehanort asks as he blocks fire spells from all four opponents. "Only one wielder of the keyblade stands before me – and hers is a fake, at that!"

And now Xion is angry. "Back off!" she suddenly barks to the others. "He's mine." She then closes her eyes in focus, and summons a second keyblade!

"What!?" Xehanort shouts in shock. "But how-… Roxas," he sneers.

"You bet, silver-locks!" Xion shouts back, beginning to duel with the darkness-wielder. "Just cause you took him away from the battlefield doesn't mean he's out of the fight!"

And so, with Xion handling Xehanort fairly well, - "This is for using me as a puppet, Xem-nut!" - …anyway, Zexion finishes Jafar pretty quickly, chasing the sorcerer off.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" the wizard shouts, disappearing in a red fart-… smoke. Red smoke.

"Oh, I'm sure we have," Zexion says with a chuckle. He then turns to see Xion having some trouble with Xehanort, and crafts an illusion to assist her. The illusion would make Xion see Xehanort's moves before he made them, and make Xehanort see something else, making Xion's tactics hit him by surprise.

Zexion stumbles back, teleporting away from the group. "You," he warns them. "You'd better watch yourselves! I'm not through with you yet!"

"Man, you aren't very good at villainous exits at this age, are you, Xehanort?" Bane asks with a chuckle. Xehanort then opens a corridor of darkness, sends a blast of wind at the good guys and leaps through.

However, Storm withstands the blast and follows Xehanort through, shouting, "Bane, I'll be back!" as he leaps through heroically. "Find Merlin!"

And our remaining heroes watch in mute shock as the portal closes, with Storm gone. "…Well, we're doomed," Axel announces.

"Oh, chill out," Bane says, opening a portal back to Storm's Mansion. "Now, there is something we need to take care of. And, with that, the nitwit-ish crowd of stupids leave, to be seen next paragraph.

***At Storm's Mansion***

Zexion, Xion, Axel and Bane exit to Storm's Mansion. "You know, something bugs me," Bane announces. "Why haven't we seen Namine yet?"

Axel shrugs. "Why do you ask?" Zexion inquires of the black-haired dude.

"Well, I thought Storm would have brought her here by now… He has a crush on her, you know."

Axel falls over laughing and Zexion and Xion look surprised. "He does?" Xion asks, thinking about how the two would look as a couple… She winced once the thought of Roxas beating Storm to a pulp with his keyblades appeared. "…Roxas wouldn't like that."

"Then don't tell him," Bane replies, going into the kitchen. In less than a second, he comes out with a tray of food.

"How do you do that?" Axel asks as they sit down at a table that appears magically. "…And that."

"Storm," Bane replies simply. "He watched those Looney Tunes episodes where the artist interacts with Bugs and Daffy recently and got inspired… Then he laughed… it was scary."

"I see," Zexion comments as he eats some food-item. "…Why are we eating gummi bananas?"

"How should I know?" Bane asks, chewing on a piece of rock candy. "Without Storm here, the mansion tends to do things a little… more oddly."

"Well, that's nice," Axel comments, tossing his chicken gizzard aside. "But, while we're sitting here, Roxas is still who-knows-where! Are we actually planning on-"

"HEY, IDIOTS!" Storm's voice shouts from the ceiling. "FOUND ROXAS! COME TO THE CASTLE THAT NEVER WAS! CORRIDORS BLOCKED! FIND THE CAGE! GOOD LUCK!" Well, after the group stops huddling together in terror, they prepare to leave. "ONE MORE THING!" They freeze again. "GET SOME HELP! THAT'S ALL! BYE!"

"…Well, I think he's done now," Bane announces, getting up from having fallen down… What? He fell. "So, first thing's first! To Destiny Islands!"

"…What in the worlds are you talking about?" Axel asks as Bane opens a dark corridor.

"He said get help!" Bane replies. "And he only uses CAPS when he's in a panic! He needs help, people!" Bane throws Axel through the corridor and turns to do the same to the others, but they just run right in. "…About time they learned," he comments, walking through.

***In The Isles Of Destiny, Upon The Sandy Shores***

Sora, Riku and Kairi sit on the beach, talking. "I'm telling you, Roxas kidnapped me and forced me to help him steal something from that Bane guy!" he argues to his friends.

"You're sure you weren't just napping?" Kairi asks as she rests in the sun.

"Actually, Bane did come to the islands the other day," Riku comments to the shock of his friends. "He threw me in the ocean."

"That I did!" The trio turns to see Bane, Axel, Zexion and Xion standing there.

"…" Riku leaps up and fires a dark firaga at Bane, who narrowly eats it. "…What the hey!?" Riku shouts as Bane swallows the dark spell.

"Mmm. Spicy," Bane comments as he burps. "Now hear me, islanders!" Sora throws his keyblade at Bane, who jumps over it. "That is _not_ hearing me!"

Then Sora begins dueling Bane with Sora using Oathkeeper and Bane using his broadswords. As this happens, Riku glares at Zexion. "Riku," said Nobody says in recognition.

"Zexion," Riku replies.

"I see you still harbor harsh feelings against me," Zexion says. "Though I suppose it can't be helped," he adds in reference to their previous meeting.

"Well, you did try to kill him," Axel says to the purple-haired member of the Organization.

"…And you _succeeded_ in killing me!" Zexion accuses as Sora and Bane duel behind them.

"Yes," Axel replies. "But that's not important right now. The important thing right now is finding Roxas!"

"See! I told you he kidnapped me!" Sora shouts as he and Bane arm-wrestle.

"…Actually, young Xehanort kidnapped you," Axel informs him. "He was just disguising as Roxas."

"What!?" Sora shouts as Bane slams his arm down.

"Touchdown!" Bane shouts in victory. "Now, on to business; you three need to help us find Roxas!"

"And why would we help you?" Riku asks, going over to the beach and sitting down once more.

"Because you have to," Bane says, picking up a really, really, really big hammer. "Or else," he adds with a very creepy chuckle.

"Maniacal laughter and creepiness belong to me!" The group looks upward to see Grey descending from the treetops. "By the way, where's Storm?"

"The World That Never Was," Zexion answers. "Why?"

"Because his mansion is gone! That's why!" Grey informs them.

Bane then pales and falls down. "…Muhhhhhhh…" he moans. "Brrrbrbrbrbrbbrrr… Ibbblleeeeeeeeeeeet… Ngahhh…"

"What's wrong with him?" Riku asks as Bane kicks around on the ground.

"ME!?" Bane shouts, leaping up. "What's wrong with _me_!? Storm's mansion coexists with Storm! If the mansion is gone…" Everyone saw what this could mean. "Storm could be gone!"

"We get it," Axel replies, walking to the island trio. "Look, you three, whether you like it or not, Storm and Roxas, Roxas being Sora here's other half, are somewhere in the castle, and you're gonna help us find them."

"…Yeah, okay," Sora agrees, walking off. "I'll go get my gummi ship."

"Really?" Riku asks in disbelief. "You're just going to go help them? Really?"

"Roxas is Sora's other half, Riku," Kairi reminds him. "And Storm wasn't that bad to us other than the whole 'hay-beds' thing."

"So what!?" Riku shouts, lying back in the sand. "I don't owe him anything, so I'm not moving from this spot.

Then, from out of nowhere, a pencil appears, erasing some of the island and drawing a cave and some railroad tracks. As the whistle blows, Riku gets up, looks, then frantically leaps out of the way of the train as it flies off under the jet plane of Bugs Bunny.

"…WHAT THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME!?" Riku shouts, looking at the cave from which the train came.

"Okay, so Storm's not… gone," Bane says. "Just captured. He can still do some magical/chaotic stuff even when he's captured."

"Has he been captured often?" Kairi asks as Sora opens a save point – through which they can enter the gummi ship.

"Only once – by him," Bane adds, pointing to Grey.

Said villain smirks. "What can I say? I'm bad… Now, I am going to come with you."

"Why?" Axel asks as they all eye him warily.

Grey fumes in fury. **"No one messes with Storm before I get back what's rightfully mine!"** he shouts insanely. He then calms himself a bit and cracks his neck. "We had a bit of a… dispute a bit ago – over the power of the keyblades… Can't give you any specifics, though."

"…Well, whatever!" Bane says, walking over to the save point. "To Storm! Away!" The group now consisting of Bane, Axel, Zexion, Xion, Grey, Kairi, and Sora walk into the portal, with Sora lingering a moment and turning to Riku.

"Are you sure you aren't coming?" he asks his friend. Riku refuses to reply, so Sora leaves sadly.

***…In The City That Never Was, In The World That Never Was, Next To The Portapotty That Never Was (Or At Least, Shouldn't Have Been)…***

Bane and the others exit and are immediately attacked by a swarm of Berserker Nobodies! They fight the massive Nobodies with zeal, heart and Bane's tuna (it's about seven-feet long, for the curious cats out there).

"Take this, ya' slimy git!" Bane shouts, slamming the fish into a berserker and stealing its claymore. "…NRFJBDKNGVRBFEJFKV! !" he shouts in an indiscernible language, beginning to slam the weapon into the Nobodies… Not Axel or Xion, though.

"Get away from me!" Zexion screamed, running from the frantic Bane. He tries to use illusions to slow him, but Bane just ignores them in his claymore-induced berserk state. "HELP!"

Sora then uses a sleep spell on Bane, knocking the OC unconscious for now. "Better?" he asks the panting Nobody.

"Yes, thank you," Zexion replies, composing himself. Axel then grabs the claymore and throws it at the remaining berserker, forcing both to disappear in a flash of light. "…And you, too."

"No problem," Axel replies, and they continue down the street until confronted by Luxord, Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus. "Hey, the welcoming committee!" Axel jokes, carrying Bane over his shoulder. "Where's the complimentary water bottles?"

Xaldin shoots a sphere of wind, silencing the fire-head. "Hey, what gives!?" Xion shouts as the group draws their weapons in unison… except Bane; he's napping. SHHHH!

"The younger Xehanort has offered us a great reward to stall you," Vexen replies, the air chilling around him as he speaks.

"Our hearts, in return for Bane and Xion," Xaldin adds, the wind whipping around him.

"Luck's in our favor, boys – just hand them over and we may give you a pardon," Luxord finishes, shuffling his cards magically.

Zexion looks at Lexaeus. "And you, Aeleus?" he asks, using the giant's true name. The man does not reply, but hefts his axe-sword over his shoulder. "…I see… Very well."

The groups remain still, each waiting for the other to move first. Then, Xaldin springs forward, but is launched skyward by a stone's rising underneath him! Vexen looks shocked and is unprepared as Lexaeus slams his weapon into the chilly academic's torso, launching him painfully into a building.

Luxord actually reacts, though, and sends his cards flying at the number 5. The cards grow as they fly and begin cutting Lexaeus until fireballs began to burn the cards to pieces.

It is not Axel, though, but Zexion who fires the balls. He runs over and begins joining Lexaeus as Xaldin returns and begins to fight back. "Go – we'll handle them!" Zexion calls to the others.

The group of Sora, Kairi, Axel (still carrying Bane), Bane, and Xion run to the entrance of the castle. Xion and Axel summon a bridge to cross and Team B.A.I.N. runs into the next room.

Within the room, they are greeted by Marluxia and Larxene. Larxene gives a crazy laugh as they enter. "Well, hello!" she greets.

"Sora, so nice to see you _again_," Marluxia greets, saying the last word with acid in his tone.

"…Do I know you?" Sora asks, looking between the two. "At all?"

Axel sighs. "You met them in Castle Oblivion," he informs the brunette teen.

"…Where?" Sora asks.

"The castle you forgot abou-… never mind," Axel dismisses, realizing this conversation will go nowhere. "Just let me handle 'em."

However, before he can, Sora and Kairi rush into battle with the two double-digit-numbered-Nobodies. "Go!" Kairi calls to them. "And hurry – we got 'em for now! Just go!"

The remaining group of Axel, Xion and Bane complies, heading through the next few sections with little issue… until they reach the Hall of Empty Melodies (the room Sora fought Xigbar in). There, Bane awakes, falling off of Axel's shoulder in the process.

Bane yawns and scratches his back. "What did I miss?"

"We're in the castle and the Organization is battling everyone else and picking our team apart, one-by-one!" Xion shouts frantically. "Now let's go before Axel's gone!" She turns to go, but is met by Saix. "…Oh, butter."

"Hello, puppet," Saix says, grabbing her and tossing her aside.

"Hey!" Axel shouts, lighting aflame for a brief moment. "Hands off, Saix!"

"Or what, Lea?" Saix asks defiantly, summoning his claymore.

"Or else I'm gonna burn you to bits," Axel threatens. "Got it memorized?" And, with that epic line, Axel rushes Saix and the two duel. "Xion! Bane!" Axel calls during the fight. "Find Roxas! Go!"

"But, Axel-" Xion calls back.

"GO!" Axel shouts, Saix slamming the claymore into him during the distraction. Axel quickly gets up and begins attacking again as Xion and Bane leave.

**OOH! Wasn't that fun?**

…

…**Yeah, Bane's busy as you can see *points at the story above*. But have no fear! I shall entertain you with my wit!**

**Grey: Please; your wit is about as sharp as a volleyball.**

…**Who invited you?**

**Grey: Myself… By the way, where is Storm?**

**Busy. Besides, don't you have a world to conquer or something?**

**Grey: …Oh, you think I'm one of those cliché 'Take over the world!' villains, eh?**

**No, but the readers might.**

**Grey: …Readers?**

**Yeah – the people who read the story.**

**Grey: …And they are reading this, as well?**

**Yes… though I hesitate to answer that.**

**Grey: …Attention, people of whatever world you be from! If you surrender now-**

**Oh, shut up.**

**Grey: Or else what?**

**Begone! You have no power here!**

**Grey: Very well; I'll bide my time! But I'll get you, m pretty, and you little… do you have a pet?**

**A dragon.**

**Grey: WHAT!? A DRAGON!? AHH! *leaves through a corridor of darkness***

…**Well, even villains are scared of something, right? Anywho, see ya' fanfictioners!**


	14. Chapter 13: The Climax That Never Was!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 13: The Climax that Never Was!**

_Uploaded March 28__th__, 2013_

They head through a few more rooms, and then arrive in the Altar of Naught, where Xemnas' Kingdom Hearts once hung proudly in the sky. Now, Xigbar, Demyx, Xemnas and Xehanort stand there, with Roxas held in a prison of blue lightning nearby.

"Roxas!" Xion shouts as they reach the top of the stairs.

"Well, well, well," Xigbar chuckles. "Look, it's like they gift-wrapped themselves for us."

"Indeed," Xemnas says. "It seems the others did their jobs right after all."

"What are you babbling about, Xem-nort!?" Bane inquires.

"…I honestly haven't been called that yet," Xemnas replies. "Not in this story, at least. But, I suppose I'll be generous and tell you. We only had the others stop you to remove your allies from the equation. Without them, you're ours for the taking."

Xigbar laughs, lifting one arrowgun over his shoulder. "Easy pickin's," he says, pointing the other at them as Demyx readies his sitar.

Bane, meanwhile, summons four copies of himself. "Attack, my minions!" he shouts, the Banes running at Xigbar.

"What- why only me!?" Xigbar shouts as the Banes dogpile him.

Meanwhile, Xion tries to run over to Roxas and free him, but Xemnas blocks her path, summoning his lightsaber-like weapons. Xion glares at him. "Move, Xem-nort!" she says, using Bane's nickname for him.

"Must you use that nickname?" Xemnas asks, pushing her away with a blast of pure darkness. "It aggravates me."

"Hey, there are worse ones," the one real Bane informs him. "You have a very unfortunate name, my friend."

Xemnas says nothing, but rushes Bane in battle, the black-haired crazy guy finally using normal weapons to retaliate – two, black broadswords! Meanwhile, Xehanort runs to Xion and they duel with their keyblades. As they duel, Demyx summons water-clones and has them attack both Bane and Xion.

"We need help!" Bane shouts as they fight. "Where is Storm?"

Xehanort and Xemnas back off and the water-clones transform into a tidal wave, slamming into the good-guy duo and then grabbing them and holding them back.

"Storm?" Xehanort asks. "Oh, him. He's preoccupied at the moment."

***With Storm***

Storm valiantly fights his adversaries off, trapped within a pink, laser-lined cage, floating in a void of black-and-white. He makes a swipe at one, then another, then another! Finally, all are gone. He sighs with relief and wipes the sweat from his brow.

"Finally," he says. But, just as he relaxes, more appear! "Dang it!" he shouts, destroying more. "How did Xehanort find my one weakness; ballerina-hippo heartless!?" As he fights the pirouetting hippos, a blinding light flashes within the cage. A figure appears and shouts, "Deep freeze!" creating a powerful blast of ice-magic and destroying the hippos, mid-jette.

"Need a hand?" she asks, laying her keyblade on her shoulder.

Storm sighs. "Not as much as Bane does," he replies as more hippo-heartless appear. "…Forget Bane – HELP ME!" he decides, fending the hippos off once more.

The young lady sighs. "Well, here I go – saving these doofuses' butts again," she says, preparing to fight more.

***Back Upon Naught's Altar…***

Bane and Xion are still bound by the water clones as Xemnas, Xigbar, Grey, Demyx, and Xehanort look upon them. "Well, well, look at the two of you," Xehanort says, pridefully smirking. "All tied up with nowhere to go."

Demyx snorts, then chuckles. "Good one," he says, earning an annoyed glare from Xemnas, which shuts him up.

"So, what do we wanna do with 'em?" Xigbar asks, stepping toward the bound duo. "You said you had some big, elaborate plan, right Little X?" he directs at the young Xehanort.

"Must you nickname everyone?" Xehanort asks.

"Yes, he must," Xemnas answers. "It's annoying, but you'll get used to it – trust me, I know."

"He is rather annoying at times, isn't he?" Grey asks as everyone stares at him.

"…When did he join our group?" Demyx finally asks as Grey cleans his ear with his clawed, silver gauntlet.

"…He did not," Xehanort replies, taking a battle stance with his keyblade.

Grey glances briefly at the water clones holding Bane and Xion then teleports behind Demyx. "_**Water**_," he says creepily, making Demyx jump forward. "_**Conducts electricity**_." As Grey finishes, he shoots gray lightning into the water clones, frying then evaporating them and making Demyx leave through a dark corridor.

Xemnas rushes him, but Grey pushes him back with darkness so strong you can smell it. "_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!_" Grey cackles madly, levitating slightly. "_Let the darkness __**swallow you**_!" he shouts, forming the darkness into his gray, ethereal blades and turning them black.

He then rushes Xemnas, beginning a duel between darkness and nothingness. As they duel, Xion sideswipes Xehanort, beginning their own fight.

Xigbar takes aim at Xion, but Bane draws his attention. "Yo, Xiggy!" he shouts, transforming his swords into gun-like weapons. "Let's see who snipes best."

Xigbar gives a smirk and uses his space-powers to warp to a higher vantage point. He takes aim at Bane, who prepares to do the same. As Xigbar fires, though, Bane relaxes and crosses his arms, smirking at the Nobody. Xigbar gives a confused glance as Bane is hit, but then falls from the sky in pain as another Bane has shot him from behind with an explosive fire-crystal.

Xigbar slams into the ground of the platform, coughing a bit. "You… clever… little sneak," he groans out, using a corridor to leave and heal his wounds.

This leaves Xion fighting Xehanort and Grey fighting Xemnas. The two younger battlers struggle against one-another until Bane falls between them, using a whirlwind-swing to push Xehanort back. He then begins to fend off Xehanort and shouts, "Xion – Roxas!"

Xion takes the cue and runs over to Roxas' electrical prison, trying several spells to destroy it, and all of them failing. "Why can't I get this!?" she shouts.

"Because you're treating it like thunder-magic," a voice replies. "But it's not – it's _dark_ thunder magic."

Xion turns to see Riku standing behind her. "Riku!" she cheers. "You came!"

"…Why are you, of all people, happy to see me?" he asks. "I called your keyblade a fake, remember?"

"Do you wanna work together, or do you wanna fight?" Xion asks, swinging her keyblade around.

"…Point taken," Riku says, approaching the cage. He stretches a hand out and blasts the cage with dark fire magic, breaking it open and freeing Roxas. "There – now can we go?" he asks.

"Not quite." The duo turns to find Xehanort holding Bane at bay with a blueish chain and Marluxia and Larxene with him.

"You two!?" Xion gasps, supporting the weakened Roxas. "I thought Sora and Kairi were taking care of you!"

"You thought wrong!" Marluxia shouts, rushing her with his scythe. He nears her, but is blocked by a gray scythe.

"Going somewhere?" Grey asks, his scythe interlocked with Marluxia's.

"Why do you fight us!?" Marluxia demands, pushing against Grey. "We could give you anything! If you help us find the wall!"

Grey cackles, easily holding off Marluxia. "You fool," he says, blasting the Number 11 away. "I am a keyblade warrior of the highest caliber! I am a Keyblade _Master_!"

Marluxia and Larxene back off a bit as Grey cackles with even more madness. "That's right, you fools – cower!" he shouts insanely. "And once I take back what Storm took from me, I will be invincible! INVINCIBLE!" he shouts, maddening more with every second.

"Oh, shut up!" Grey snaps toward the shout to find Storm, standing with katanas in hand.

"Excellent!" Grey screams, his voice becoming more venomous and mad with each syllable. "All the players are here! The stage is set – let the game begin!"

Grey rushes Storm, but is trapped within a spherical barrier. "Not today, Grey," Storm says as the barrier is teleported away with a thrashing Grey still inside.

"…Storm?" Bane asks, still caught. "You're not that good with magic – yes you're all magicky and whatnot, but still! How'd you do that?"

"Silence!" Xehanort says, tightening the chains around the OC. "Give me the map, or else!" Storm does nothing as a white light slashes the chain, freeing Bane. "What!?" Xehanort shouts as a girl lands in front of him.

"Ars Arcanum!" she shouts, landing blow-after-blow on Xehanort, then blasting him away with light magic.

"Who-," Xehanort mumbles, staggering up. "Who are you?"

The young lady swings her keyblade onto her shoulder, a keyblade made of a treble cleff, with two beamed quarter notes as the teeth. She stands confidently, sporting an orange jacket over a yellow shirt with orange capri-pants and shoes as well. Her hair is long, blonde and curly, reaching her mid-back, and her silver eyes flash with heart.

"I am Alysson," the girl says, swinging her keyblade swiftly. "And I'm gonna take you down!"

"Please," Xehanort scoffs as Xemnas, Marluxia and Larxene join him. "You and what army?

"This army!" Xehanort turns around and narrowly dodges a fireball as Axel, Sora, and Kairi stand before him. "Lexaeus was injured, so Zexy's watching him," Axel explains. "But we can more than handle you clowns."

Xehanort growls as Axel uses a corridor to join Xion and Roxas, healing the latter with a cura spell. Xehanort glares at the groups on either side of him; Sora, Kairi, Bane, and Alysson on one, Storm, Axel, Xion, the still-weakened Roxas, and Riku on the other. "You dare," he begins, darkness emanating from him. "You dare to defy me!? ME!?"

"You bet," Bane replies, pulling his swords out. "And we're gonna keep defying you 'till you fade away like the rest of 'em. Got it, nutty!?" he shouts, running into the fray.

**Grey: …You made me leave.**

**Well, in my defense, you were going just the tiniest bit insane.**

**Grey: …SO!? YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME!?**

**Yeah, but I'm the author – I'm allowed.**

**Grey: …You have **_**no idea**_** how much I wish I could attack you right now.**

**Well, you'd lose. Anyways, my readers! My college load becomes a great burden to me, so I may not post as often as normally. BUT, I will try to deliver my best to you all!**

**Grey: You're dissssspicable.**

**Thanks, Daffy. Read and Review, if ya' have the time!**

**Grey: OR ELSE…**


	15. Chapter 14: Madness! Xehanort's Plan!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 14: Madness! Xehanort's Plan!**

**Uploaded April 8****th****, 2013**

The battle begins as Bane rushes Xehanort, but is blocked by Marluxia, forcing the two to do battle. Storm and Sora rush Xehanort from both sides, but are stopped by Xemnas' barriers. Xemnas then moves and shifts the barriers, trapping the two and bringing them into a battle with him.

Next, Axel and Xion tend to the injured Roxas, but Larxene rushes them. Riku stops her attack, and begins dueling her, leaving Alysson and Kairi to deal with Xehanort. "So, look who's left," Xehanort begins. "The little girls are going to play with the big boys now, are they?"

Alysson and Kairi glare at him, then he creates two copies of himself, having each of them go after a girl. Kairi shocks Xehanort, though, using three pearl spells to destroy the copy, whilst Alysson uses a sparkga spell to deal equal damage.

Xehanort backs off and uses dark thunder, which the girls leap over, beginning to duel keyblade-to-keyblade with the youngster. Considering it is two-against-one, Xehanort fares well until Kairi kicks him… somewhere painful… yeah.

Everyone continues to fight until a huge explosion attracts everyone's attention. They all look to see Xigbar standing beside a large, hoop-shaped machine. "Yo, Mini-nort!" he shouts. "Your machine's ready. Hope I'm not too late for the party.

Xehanort takes advantage of the distraction to use a silence spell on Alysson and Kairi, preventing them from using magic, then pushes them back with darkness. He then teleports to the machine and stands guard while Xigbar turns it on.

Storm shouts from within Xemnas' barrier, grabbing Bane's attention. "Bane! Don't let him activate that machine! It-" But Xemnas attacks, cutting Storm off.

Meanwhile, Roxas begins to awaken while Xion and Axel heal him. "…Axel… Xion…" he mumbles, getting up.

"Roxas!" Xion cheers, hugging him. "You're okay!"

"Took you long enough," Axel adds. "Hey, do you know what that thing is?" he asks, pointing to the hoop-like machine.

Roxas looks at it, blinks blankly, then widens his eyes. "…It's a… portal," he says, getting up all the way. "Xehanort knew he was at a disadvantage to Bane because only villains would assist him, while Bane could get almost anyone to help him, when he's in the right mood."

Axel nods. "True – Bane's annoying, but he's a man of his word… I think. Villains at least figure, 'If I help this Xehanort guy, even if he goes under, I can pick up what's left', right?"

"Bingo," Roxas answers as the machine begins to hum. "So he captured me back when I left you guys – you know, when I was fed up?"

"I remember that!" Xion says. "At the end of Chapter 3! …Man, that's been a while."

Roxas nods. "Anyways, while I was captive, he absorbed some of my twilight energy to fuel that machine, then enacted his 'Plan A' – disguise as me and convince several people to join him."

"Plan A?" Axel asks. "So, does he have a Plan B?"

Roxas points to the machine, which begins to spark. "That," he answers. "It's a portal… to the rest of the fiction-verse."

"The what?" Axel asks as the machine's whirring becomes very loud and it begins to shoot lightning in various directions.

Xehanort cackles madly. "It's working!" he shouts as Xemnas' barrier fades with the leader of the Nobodies' defeat at Sora and Storm's hands. "The time is at hand!"

"For what?" Bane questions, having just defeated Marluxia and forcing the man with pink hair to portal away. "No portal can pass through the Fifth Wall, stupid."

"You are the fool!" Xehanort accuses. "I know that! This portal leads not to the real world, but to the other fiction-worlds!"

Bane, Alysson and Storm glance at each other (being OC's, they know about the other fictional realms like the Legend of Zelda, Smash Bros. series, Legend of Zorro, Harry Potter, etc…). "What are you talking about?" Storm questions warily.

"Do you think me a fool!?" Xehanort demands as a small sphere of energy appears in the chaotic hoop of the machine. "I know of the other dimensions! Ours is not alone, and our worlds are all the more evidence of that!"

The machine whirrs and spouts lightning as Xigbar backs away from it. "Yo, Mini-nort! Is this thing supposed to be doin' that!?" he shouts, beginning to doubt the younger X.

"Of course, you fool!" he shouts, a mad look on his face. "Just keep going! Soon we will be ready!"

"Oh no you won't!" Xehanort turns and sees Riku running at him, Larxene defeated by now. Xehanort creates a copy and sends it after the dawn-wielder, continuing to guard the machine. Next, Storm and Bane run at him, twin katanas and twin broadswords at the ready. Again, Xehanort sends copies after them, keeping the duo at bay. Next, Axel, Xion, Sora, Kairi and Alysson run, forcing Xehanort to use a large amount of magic power to make five more copies to keep them at bay as well.

As the army of Xehanorts fight our heroes, the real Xehanort turns to see how Xigbar's doing. "Xigbar, is the machine ready?" he shouts over the noise of the machine.

"Hey, Xehanort, I'm not sure this is such a good idea!" Xigbar shouts back as the sphere inside the hoop grows. "I don't think we can control it! Who knows what'll come through this thing!?"

"It matters not!" Xehanort replies, clearly worrying Xigbar. "Whoever, or whatever goes through, we shall use them or gain them by force!"

"That's it, man!" Xigbar shouts in a panic. "I'm outta here! Good luck, Xeha-nut!" And with that, Xigbar exits through a corridor, leaving only Xehanort and his clones to carry out his plan.

"Come back here, you fool!" Xehanort shouts as the machine's spherical energy core grows. "Bah! I'll do it myself!" He then presses a sequence of buttons and flips a switch, causing the lightning to spark even more wildly and the whirring to drown out any other sound.

As Xehanort watches his machine at work, someone sneaks up behind him, then slams a keyblade into his back, launching the mad silver-haired teen forward. "Who dares!?" he shouts, turning to find a rejuvenated Roxas facing him. "You!" he shouts. He prepares to create another copy, but soon realizes that he lacks the magic to create it. "I'll deal with you myself!"

Xehanort summons his own keyblade and runs at Roxas. Roxas leaps over Xehanort, using a pearl spell on his back, then follows it with a swing of the keyblade, cloaked in darkness. Xehanort falls forward on one knee, exhausted from the power he used creating his copies. As Xehanort sits there, the machine's whirring slows and the lightning turns back to sparks as the sphere within it shrinks to the size of a tennis ball.

"Game over, Xehanort," Roxas informs him. "You and your machine are done."

Xehanort tries to reply but falls forward from exhaustion as his copies disappear in sync. The rest of the group joins Roxas, congratulating the sandy blonde on his victory.

"Nicely done, dude," Bane congratulates. "Ya'know, maybe you're not so bad, after all."

"Speaking of which, why do you hate him?" Storm asks. "I know, but I think you should tell him."

"…Fine," Bane consents. "It's because of your last words to Xion. 'Who will I have ice cream with?' I mean, seriously, dude!?"

"What?" Roxas argues. "Think about it – I left the Organization and Axel, and had no friends or anyone to turn to. Eating ice cream on top of that tower and a few broken memories were all I had left. Once Xion was gone…"

"…Wow," Bane says in shock. "When you put it like that… it's almost pretty epic."

"Ya' think?" Axel asks, laying one arm around Roxas' shoulders. "So, what do we do about Mr. Portal Machine, here?" he asks, gesturing to Xehanort.

"First," Storm begins. "I'd like to thank you all for your help. Sora, Kairi, Riku, you guys were a big help." The Trio gives a nod of appreciation for the thanks. "And you too, Alysson."

"For the curious readers!" Alysson intercedes. "I am an OC of one of Halestorming's friends! And also an excellent sorceress."

"Indeed," Storm agrees. "And you're good at fighting ballerina-hippo-heartless, too." As the group ponders what this means, Xion approaches the machine. She leans in close and notices a faint humming sound. "Umm, guys?" she asks, trying to get the group's attention. "I don't think this thing's shut off yet."

"So what _do_ we do with him?" Kairi asks, kicking Xehanort's limp body.

"Guys?" Xion asks again as the machine grows louder.

"Dump him in a dungeon?" Bane asks as Storm also notices the whirring.

"Hey, do you guys hear that?" Storm asks the group.

"Guys!" The group turns to Xion, who is pointing to the now very-active machine. "It's not off! It's not off!"

They turn back to Xehanort, but see that he's disappeared. When they turn back to Xion, they see Xehanort knock her aside and flip the machine's switch again. With a loud 'crack' the sphere expands, creating a misty blue portal within the hoop of the machine.

Xehanort cackles as he presses another button, raising a large barrier between him and the other group. "Thank you for the charging time!" he tells them, pressing a few buttons and making the view within the hoop change to a bright castle. "Hmm, this isn't quite right," he says, pressing another button. A clock on the side of the machine spins madly, changing the scene into a dark and foreboding castle, hovering over a lake of lava. "Ahh, yes. Seven years will do wonders to a place."

He places his hand on a panel and the machine 'dings'. "_Xehanort – identified,_" it says mechanically. "_You have enough energy to summon three beings._"

Xehanort shouts in anger. "What!? Only three!?" he questions.

"_Don't shoot the messenger,_" the machine replies. "_What creature do you choose to summon?_" The machine then shows a variety of creatures, some human-like, some more animalistic. Xehanort then selects one, bringing it into view on the portal. It is a man in black armor with green skin and short red hair. He looks out over the lava lake and blackened landscape and smiles viciously, sending out what appears to be an army of monsters.

"Excellent," Xehanort says, pressing three buttons. The portal changes back to a misty blue and the machine's voice starts up again. _"First creature – Selected," _it says. _"Second creature?"_

Meanwhile, the group of heroes is attempting, though failing, to break through Xehanort's barrier. Storm tries to break it with a rain of frying pans, Bane throws fish-after-fish (and some whales) at it, Alysson blasts every spell she can think of, Sora, Riku, Roxas, Kairi and Xion hack away at it with their keyblades, Axel throws fire magic and his chakrams at it, and… oh wait, that's everyone. Huh, could have sworn there were more.

As they fight, Storm watches Xehanort make his second choice of allies. "Xehanort, stop!" he shouts in vain. "Him!? You're summoning him!? Are you really that desperate!?"

Xehanort chuckles. "On the contrary," Xehanort replies as the portal returns to a misty blue once more. "I'm actually very sane. If I choose only headstrong, powerful villains, they could turn against me. I need something… unexpected."

Xehanort then chooses another venue for the portal, creating a view of space, and then a large spaceship. "Seriously!?" Bane shouts at Xehanort. "You're choosing him!? That doesn't even take creativity!"

"I'll choose who I like!" Xehanort answers, choosing another villain to join his quest.

"Dude, I'm just trying to help," Bane continues. "I mean, you're making stupid enough choices as it is."

"What!?" Xehanort shouts, losing his restraint.

"Meanwhile, as Bane and Xehanort argue, Storm and Alysson work together to open Xehanort's barrier."

"Why did you just say that?" Axel asks Xion as she narrates.

"As Axel asks me why I'm narrating, I reply, _'I wasn't sure if the rest of you noticed this, so I wanted to make sure you knew.'_ As an afterthought, I add, _'Also, it's pretty fun.'_"

Then Storm and Alysson break open the barrier and begin to rush Xehanort. As they near him, though, the portal creates a wave of energy, summoning the three villains of Xehanort's choosing. "Away!" Xehanort shouts, taking the villains through a corridor and leaving the portal machine behind.

"…Well… Now we've lost him," Bane announces.

"Buuuut," Axel begins. "We got Roxas!" The Nobodies cheer as Storm creates a corridor of light for Riku, Sora and Kairi.

"Thanks again, guys," he thanks them as they head back to Destiny Islands. As the corridor closes, Storm opens another. "Okay, everyone else, to my mansion!"

"…Yeah, okay," Roxas agrees, being the first to go in.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Axel shouts, stopping him. "_You're_ agreeing first? You? I thought-"

"Yeah, I absolutely hated Bane," Roxas agrees. "But notice the use of past tense there – hatED. Now that I know why Bane hated me, I think we can work past that, right Bane?"

Bane answers by throwing a pie at Roxas. Roxas prepares to yell at him, but stops and pulls something out of the pie. He pulls out a plastic zip-close bag with a book inside. "…You're giving my journal back?" Roxas asks.

Bane nods. "Well, duh," Bane admits, going through the portal Storm created. "But I am me, ya'know – can't do things too unrandomly or I'll lose all my followers."

As Bane walks through, followed by Roxas, Xion ponders something. "Bane has a Twiddler account?" she asks, walking through, herself.

"…So, who's on team B.A.I.N. now?" Axel asks. "And, before you ask, Xion told me about that team-name thing."

"Well, we have you…" Storm stops. "I think we should wait until we're in a more… secure location," he says, pulling a conductor's baton from his shirt pocket.

Axel eyes the baton as Storm waves it, summoning two bagpipes which carry Xehanort's portal machine into the corridor. "…And why are you bringing that thing, exactly?" Axel asks.

"For fun," Storm replies with a devious smirk, walking through.

Axel follows with a sigh. "This crazy adventure's just getting started, isn't it?" he asks no one in particular as the portal closes behind him and the image does an iris out, just like they do at the end of cartoons. :D

**Well, readers, betcha didn't see **_**that**_** coming, did ya'?**

**Bane: …Whoa… That's pretty good.**

**Thank you, but I'd still like to see what the readers think. Also, for those of you who read my Pokemon story, I'm afraid I've hit a mental wall (and I'm also studying for Finals) and it may be a while before another chapter's up.**

**Bane: …Laaaaaazy…**

**What!?**

**Bane: Hey, everyone's thinkin' it, I'm just sayin' it.**

…**Growl…**

**Bane: Sure, buddy. Well, you lovely reader-folks, I bring tidings of great joy! You've just seen Xehanort use a dimension-warping machine to get three super-villains to join his quest. Care to take a guess at who they are?**

**Well, the first one was fairly descriptive, so if anyone has seen him before, they should know.**

**Bane: And the second… wow, you didn't give people anything to work with on him, did you?**

**He's a he, not a she.**

**Bane: …And Xehanort would have to be desperate to call on him.**

**Bingo. And as for the third… space… villain… no creativity… What do you think?**

**Bane: I don't even need to throw out a hint, do I?**

**Probably not. Well, I gotta go so, Hasta-la-pasta!**

**Bane: Oh, and I guess you can review… if you really want to… no hurry.**


	16. Chapter 15: Back to the Search!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 15: Back to the Search!**

_Uploaded April 27__th__, 2013_

**I… Am… ALIVE!**

**Bane: Me too. Can we get on with the story?**

**As soon as I apologize to the readers for being so late.**

**Bane: Well do it already!**

…**Sorry… ish.**

**Bane: ISH!?**

**Well, I had Finals to deal with. It was tough!**

**Bane: …Story time?**

**Story time.**

As Storm and Axel walk through the portal, Xehanort's machine being carried in between them, they find everyone sitting at a round table. "…Must we have a round table?" Bane asks. "It just doesn't seem my style."

"Fine then," Storm says, changing it into a right triangle with… MAGIC! "Better?"

Bane nods. "Much," he replies. "Now, is everyone here?" he asks, seeing Xion, Roxas, Axel, Storm and Alysson seated beside him.

"One moment, please," Zexion requests, coming from the West Wing. "Lexaeus is resting; is that alright?"

Bane nods as Zexion sits down. "Indeed," he says. "But we should go ahead and get a battle plan. Who knows how to butter frogs?"

The group is, oddly enough, surprised by Bane's weird comment. "…And here I thought you were becoming more normal," Axel comments. "Well, what do we have to go on?"

"We seek the Fifth Wall!" Bane reminds them by slamming his hands on the table. "That comes first! STORM! I know what my second wish is!"

Storm sighs. "You want a girlfriend?" he asks.

Bane shrugs. "More or less," he says. "I wish-"

"Hold it!" Roxas intercedes. "What is going on here? Wishes? Girlfriends? I'm lost."

Storm gives a yawn. "The blond-boy is right," he agrees, slightly annoying Roxas. "It's late and we've all had a rough day/evening/night/whatever. Time for bed."

As everyone gets up from their seats, Bane directs them to their rooms. "Guys in the West Wing, girls in the East Wing. If you get lost, knock on a closed door and ask who's there."

As everyone heads to bed, Bane, Storm and Alysson are left. "So, catch me up," Alysson requests politely – something the boys are not used to.

"Hey!" Bane shouts at the narration… Well, it isn't wrong. "…Anyways, we do need to find the Fifth Wall – now more than ever… Storm! My wish!"

Storm sighs. "Later," he says, turning to Alysson. "Well, firstly… You know what, I'm gonna have to explain this to everyone else tomorrow anyways. We'll talk then."

And they head to their own, special rooms for bed that night. Meanwhile, as everyone sleeps, Roxas, Xion and Axel head to the large room of the mansion, where a television set rests. "I wonder if it's still here," Roxas whispers as they look around the TV stand.

"Found it!" Axel exclaims quietly. He holds up the prize in his hand; a Wii! He then sets it up and turns on the TV.

"DO YOUR ARMS SMELL LIKE AN UNWASHED BABY'S BEHIND?" the TV shouts. "THEN YOU NEED STANK-B-GONE!"

"Turn it down!" Xion shouts as she and the others look for the remote.

"Got it!" Roxas shouts back, muting the TV. They sigh with relief as they hear a noise from the East Wing. They hide behind the TV, which is still on, as someone walks in.

"Wait a second; are there any other girls here?" Roxas asks, remembering that the East Wing is the girls' wing. Roxas peeks out and sees… "Namine?" he asks, seeing the white-dressed girl.

"…Hi," Namine greets with a wave. Roxas and the others come out of hiding and greet the female Nobody.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas asks.

"Well, Storm sent me a message that you were in trouble," Namine replies. "Actually, he threw a brick in my window. It broke my favorite pencil set."

"…Yup, that's Storm," Axel says, cooking some corn. "Bane may be the crazy one, but Storm… well, he's friends with Bane for some reason, isn't he?"

Namine and Xion nod. "Yes, that's true," Namine agrees.

Xion then taps Namine on the shoulder. "By the way," she begins. "I think Storm has a cru-"

"WOO-WOO-WOO!" The group turns as the lights come on, revealing Bane and Storm, both in pajamas and the former wearing a hat with flashing lights on it. "We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!" Bane shouts.

Storm stares at Bane for a moment, then smacks him upside his head. "I'd ask what's wrong with you… but that's an effort in vain."

"Yup," Bane agrees. He then spots Namine. "…Hey, when'd she get here?"

"…I'm not entirely sure," Storm replies. "Earlier, when we were taking on Xehanort?"

"I guess so," Namine replies. "When I got here, the place was empty, so, after I got a snack, I went through the halls and found the only door that would open and slept there… it was a bedroom," she assured everyone, wrapping up her little journey in the mansion.

"…Ahh," Storm says, looking at Roxas. "Now, why are you three up?"

"…We wanted to play video games," Roxas replies, pointing to the wii. "Smash Bros. to be specific."

"…No," Bane tells him. "We have much work to do tomorrow. Bed, nincompoops!" And so, most of them went to bed. "Why are you still here, Namine!?"

Namine shrugged. "I just woke up from a nap – I'm not tired."

"…Wanna play Smash Bros?" Bane asks. And so, the trio plays Smash Bros. into the wee hours of the morning as I stop saying 'and so'.

That morning, Roxas awakes first to find Namine, Bane and Storm playing Smash Bros. on the couch. "…I thought you needed to sleep?" Roxas asks, grabbing a donut from the nearby coffee table.

"No; you did," Bane answers the blonde. "By the way, if that's a coffee table, where's the coffee?"

"…Ugh," Roxas replies, sitting on an adjacent couch. "Now I remember why I don't like you."

"What!?" Bane shouts, pausing the game. "I thought we were on good terms."

"We're cool," Roxas agrees. "I just think you're nuts."

"But, of course," Bane replies in an accent much like Chef Louis' (-_The Little Mermaid_). "Otherwise, I would be weird, no?"

"…That makes so little sense, and yet, so much," Storm points out. "Well, who's not up?"

"…Axel, Zexion, Lexaeus, and Xion," Namine reads off from memory. When Roxas looked at her with surprise, she said this; "Storm and Bane caught me up last night, after I beat them in a tourney."

"We lost without killing her once!" Bane exclaims madly. "How's she better than Xion!?"

"Who's better than me?" Xion asks, walking in with bed-hair.

Bane barely holds in his laughter as the others just smirk, holding theirs well. "…BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bane bursts out. "You look like Roxas!" Bane shouts, pointing to Xion's remarkably Roxas-like hair.

Xion looks in the magic mirror and shrieks, summoning the spirit of the mirror. "Not so loud!" the mirror complains. "I'll break if you keep that up."

"Magic Mirror!" Xion shouts. "How can I fix this?"

"To undo this horrific 'do, use conditioner and shampoo," the mirror replies. "Honestly, the stupid one could've told you that."

Bane looks at the mirror. "You mean Roxas, right?" he asks the mirror.

"…Yes, of course," the mirror replies evasively. "Do you have a question, sir?"

Bane nods. "When will the others be up?" he asks, walking over and leaving the game paused, much to Storm and Namine's annoyance.

The mirror recites, "They will awaken very soon, not by nature, but buffoon. I see they plan on sleeping in, but I know you won't let them win."

"…Storm?" Bane asks. "Translation?"

"They're planning on sleeping in, but you're impatient. Therefore, the mirror knows you're gonna go wake 'em up soon," Storm answers. "Now, unpause this!"

Bane blinks, then smirks, then poofs away. "…He's gone to wake them, hasn't he?" Namine asks. Storm nods. "Oh dear."

***In Axel's Room***

Axel rests comfortably on the queen-sized bed in his room. Beside his bed is a nightstand with a clock. Bane poofs in quietly and messes with the clock, having giggling fits the entire time. What has he done? You shall see…

As Bane leaves, the alarm's hand nears the time – seven o'clock. As it hits it, an arm with a Mickey Mouse glove on its hand comes out and pulls a frying pan up. It tosses the pan up above Axel and hides back in the clock. The frying pan goes up… and gets stuck on the ceiling because of a wad of gum Axel spat onto the roof the previous night.

Bane comes back in after **not** hearing screams of pain and sees the dilemma. He grumbles to himself and tries to pull the frying pan down. He does, but the recoil smacks it into Bane's face with a 'gong' sound. Bane falls down and gurgles slightly, Axel still asleep.

Next, Bane grabs a pie and places it on a spring at the foot of Axel's bed. He then places a mouse trap inside the pie and sets a timer on the spring, which will send the pie flying onto Axel's face. As Bane tiptoes out the door, Axel shifts in his sleep, spinning the spring 180 degrees – this means it is now facing the opposite direction. The spring's timer goes off, launching the pie out of the door, as a scream of pain is heard, followed by, "SWEET GLUTEUS MAXIMUS, THAT HURTS!" Axel sleeps through the scream of pain, only yawning in his sleep.

Bane then prepares his next plan, once the mouse trap is removed from his rear. He puts a snake inside a jar of killer bees, and- "Bane," Storm warns from the door.

"Yeah?" Bane asks, shoving some scorpions in as well.

"No."

"Aw, come on," Bane pleads with a whine.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What if I only do half the-"

"Bane!"

"…Fine," Bane relents, throwing the jar out the window. "Then how do we wake him up?"

Storm walks over to Axel and flicks the Nobody's nose. Axel gets up and rubs said nose. "Axel, up, now," Storm orders, walking back to the main room. Axel follows shortly.

Bane opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. He opens it again, then closes it again. He repeats this two more times and then shrugs and leaves.

***In The Gathering Room (The One With The TV, Triangular Table, Magic Mirror, And The Main Room Inside Storm's Mansion)***

Everyone is now seated at the Triangular table, awaiting Bane. Said crazy dude walks in with a stride, and a shimmering, black cape. He allows his cape to flow in the non-existent breeze, then seats himself at the center of the 'C' side of the right triangle… Calculus.

Once seated, he requests something from Storm. "Storm, I want my wish now!" he says.

"…After we explain everything," Storm agrees. He then turns to address the group. "Okay, Namine is pretty much up to speed. I imagine the rest of you have questions, though." The group nods and Storm turns to Bane. "Bane, try to explain things."

Bane gives a nod and hugs his friend's llama. "…Is that a llama?" Xion asks.

"Alysson's llama," Bane replies. Alysson then pulls him off the llama and takes it back to her castle… Yes, she has a castle – booyah.

"…Anyways," Bane continues. "So, Storm agreed to give me three wishes a little while ago. The first I used to get the Magic Mirror," he says, pointing to said mirror. "The second I want to use to call another character to assist us."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Axel shouts. "Another? Don't you have enough people to torture?"

Bane chuckles. "You don't know me that well, do you?" he asks his fiery-haired friend. "I wish… to have a girlfriend!"

The room is silent, then they all erupt in laughter, led by Storm. "A what!?" Storm asks between fits of laughter. "I'm a magic-maker, not a miracle-worker!"

At this, more laughter comes, making Bane **very** annoyed. Bane sizzles for another moment, then jumps onto the table, quieting all. "Hey!" Bane shouts, quite ticked. "You said **any** three wishes, within reason! And this is perfectly reasonable!"

"…Okay, how-so?" Storm asks, still smirking.

"Simple," Bane replies. "My reason – I want one."

Storm stares at Bane in shock. "…No," Storm replies. "But I _can_ get another person for your team… in fact," Storm goes on with a devious glance at Xehanort's machine. If I can get this thing running, we might be able to get someone from another fiction-dimension."

"…Like Zelda?" Bane asks. "Or Samus? Maybe Daisy from Mario games? Then there's that wizard girl from Disney Channel-"

"Stop trying to get a girlfriend!" Storm demands.

"Never!" Bane refuses. The two stare each other down.

"…Are they seriously mad at each other?" Axel asks in fear.

Zexion observes the two's features, expressions and snarling growls. "…I do believe they are… odd."

"Ahahahahahahahahaa!" Bane and Storm laugh together.

"…Okay, now I'm scared," Roxas says.

"What?" the authorial personification that is Storm asks. "You thought we'd actually argue? Please! Come on, what's wrong with you?"

The group looks on in shock, so Bane sighs, then explains. "Storm and I are practically the same person. We're actually both based on the author – Storm's his calm, analytical side, who thinks things through and acts rationally…"

"And Bane's his more fun-loving – not that I'm not fun-loving – reckless and childish side, who leaps first and burns the remains later," Storm finishes. "Either way, I think I should step aside and let Bane run the show – it's his nam in the title after all." Storm then gets up and walks toward the kitchen. "I'm gonna go make dinner. Bane? Behave."

"…And now I am in control again!" Bane shouts. Several of the members of the group look around for an escape route. "Roxas, don't you dare," he adds in reference to the predecessor story to this (_Kingdom Hearts Prankoff_). "Now, since Storm is off-duty, I need a second-in-command… Zexy!" Zexion jumps at the call. "You're my First Mate!"

Zexion raises his eyebrow… the one behind his hair… so it looks like he's just staring at Bane… yup. "Why, may I ask?" Zexion asks the fun-loving doofus we've all come to adore.

"Because I trust you the most," Bane replies. "…Behind Xion."

"Hey!" Xion shouts. "If you trust me more, then why am I not First Mate?"

"Simple, Xi-Xi," Bane replies. "Because being First Mate entails staying here with me, while I need you in the field because that's where you shall be my acting General!"

"…Cool," Xion consents, playing a gameboy.

"Excellent!" Bane decrees. "Now-… What game are you playing?"

Zexion slaps Bane, having been seated just to Bane's right. "Focus, sir!" Zexion says, apparently taking his new position seriously. "We still have to explain things."

"Right," Bane agrees, slightly annoyed by the slap, though mostly because he didn't do the slapping. "Now, everyone knows the objective, right?" Everyone nods. "Find the Fifth Wall!"

"What?" "Really?" "I thought you were just being nutty," were some of the things that team B.A.I.N. said.

"…Yes, we're seeking the Fifth Wall," Bane says dryly. "And the first thing we must do- WHAT!?" he shouts at Axel, who has raised his hand.

"…Umm, now that we have more members, should we have a new team name?" Axel asks with some fear, in reference to B.A.I.N.

"…That is ridiculously correct!" Bane answers with a smirk. "Axel! Pick a letter and a word that begins with that letter!"

"…Umm, B?" Axel asks. Bane nods and motions for him to continue in an odd way. "…Why are you hula-ing?" As Bane hulas, Axel sighs, Zexion face-palms, Xion eats a turkey, Namine sketches, Roxas naps, Storm cooks, and Lexaeus knits. Yeah, bet'cha forgot Lexaeus was even there, didn't ya'? "Fine – Bombardment," Axel says.

"Good," Bane says, turning to the napping Roxas. "…ROCK-SESAME!" Bane shouts, awakening Roxas, who leaves a small pile of drool on the table. "Roxas, clean that up – that's just wrong."

"…This coming from the guy that made me wear a Barney costume for Halloween!" Roxas challenges. The room then erupts in laughter from the memory, except for Lexaeus and Zexion, who weren't there to have the pleasure of laughing at Roxas the first time.

"…He-he-he," Bane chuckles dryly, slightly frightening his guests. "Thank you, Roxas – I had almost forgotten to do some Holiday special chapters in this story." Bane's smirk grows, severely frightening all but Lexaeus.

"How bad is he?" Lexaeus asks his friend, Zexion.

"On Holidays or normally?" Zexion replies as Bane jots some notes down, giving a creepy giggle every now-and-then.

"…Both," Lexaeus answers as Bane folds the paper he has jotted on.

"Well, he's somewhat tolerable normally, but you'll find that out as you go. On Holidays… there are no words." Zexion looks over to Bane and sees what he's done. "…That is a lovely swan, sir," Zexion says to Bane as he plays with the origami art.

"Thanks," Bane thanks the purple-head, letting the swan fly away. "It was a crane, by the way… Well, back to business. Xion, Roxas and Axel! I know you work best together, so I'm gonna call you Team Alpha!" The trio high-fives. "Also, Xion, being my General allows you to sit at my left-side. NOW SIT!" Bane adds, shaking the room. Xion hurriedly sits in the chair that used to be Storm's.

…How are they seated, you ask? Oh. Well, from left-to-right, on the long side, Xion, Bane, then Zexion. Lexaeus and Namine sit on Zexion's side, and Axel and Roxas sit on Xion's side (when looking from Bane's POV), with Roxas closest to Xion and Lexaeus closest to Zexion. There.

"Now, Namine, Zexion and Lexaeus, you are my Team Zeta!" Bane announces, pleasing the remaining Nobodies. "…I just realized my entire team is heartless." As shouts of anger fill the room, Bane sighs. "You're all Nobodies," Bane reiterates.

"…Ohh," the group says in unison. "But why?" Axel asks no one.

"…How would I know?" Bane answers. "It's not like there's some magical object that can answer any question just sitting on the wall, where I can easily ask…" Bane glances at the Magic Mirror. "…Mirror!" Bane shouts, running to the magical glass object.

The spirit of the mirror fades into view in the glass. "Yes?" the mirror asks.

"Why is my team made of Nobodies?" Bane asks as the others listen in.

"All the answers have I, and all I shall give. The reason, good sir, is because they should live," the mirror answers. Bane and the others look confused, so the mirror goes on. "Either or neither, light and dark, when upon the time comes, upon them you'll hark." Still, they look confused. The mirror sighs, and gives one more rhyme. "You'll find when in doubt, it's best to find out – later!" he says, disappearing from the glass.

"…Well, that was useless," Bane says. "What were we doing again?"

"…I think you were asking us to make a new team name," Axel says, realizing how far off-topic they have gotten. "Man, we're really attention-deficient, aren't we?"

"What are you talking abo- SQUIRREL!" Bane shouts, running after a random squirrel.

"…Roxas, it's your turn to pick a letter and word," Zexion says as Bane chases the squirrel.

"How about R?" Roxas asks as Bane wrestles with the squirrel in the background.

"…Sure," Zexion agrees as the squirrely puts Bane in a headlock. "Now what word?"

"…Rocking," Roxas decides as Bane struggles for air in the squirrel's grip. "Like rocking roll."

"…I don't think you quite understand that expression," Zexion says as Bane grabs a stick and starts whacking the squirrel, though the squirrel seems immune to it.

"Fine," Roxas pouts. "How about Random – we've got enough of _that_ here," he adds as a giant duck comes in and takes the squirrel away, saving Bane.

"Point taken," Zexion agrees as Bane sits down, panting. "…What happened to you?" he then asks their leader, none of them having seen the exchange with the squirrel and the duck.

"Nothing," Bane answers. "Lexy? Your turn."

"…S," Lexaeus answers. "For Serenity."

"Joey Wheeler's sister?" Bane asks, making a reference that you may not get. "…Sure. Now, Namine!"

"…How about… A?" Namine asks. "For Artistic?"

"Yes!" Bane agrees, standing up. "And together that makes…" Bane thinks over the letters and pales.

"The B.A.I.N. B.R.A.S!" Axel shouts, laughing and then falling out of his seat. All the others laugh with him until Bane pulls a fork and plate from his pocket. Bane then smacks the plate with the fork, creating a shockwave that flips the table over, along with everyone on it.

"AXEL!" Bane shouts. "CHOOSE A NEW LETTER AND WORD – NOW!"

"T!" Axel shouts in fear, hiding under the overturned table. "For Terrified!"

"Excellent!" Bane says cheerfully. "Now we are… Team B.A.I.N. S.T.A.R!" Bane decides.

"Or B.R.A.I.N. S.A.T," Xion suggests, earning a glare from Bane. "…Yours is good," she consents. They then lift the table and set it back up, then sit once more.

"And now that we have a name," Bane begins. "We can do stuff! Zexy! The map, if you please."

Zexion sets the map on the table, which has a new look. "Hmm, that's odd," Zexion comments. "It appears to have transformed itself."

"Yeah," Xion agrees, looking the map over. It now looks like an actual map, with a layout, landmarks, and a big, red 'X' on a certain location. "It seems that we need to find this world, go to this spot, and find the 'X'."

"Excellent deduction, General Xion!" Bane says, using Xion's title for the first time. "I believe you've earned your first medal!" He pulls out a bronze medal with the picture of a map with an 'X' on it and places it on Xion's cloak. "You may wear one medal at a time, and I shall award you them at my leisure!" Bane announces, looking back to the map. "Hey, look! Words!"

The group looks and sees that there is a short passage above the map. Zexion clears his throat and recites. "_'You who seek the wall are nearing, yet the wall still needs appearing. But to make it first appear, you must find the shyest deer…_' Intriguing, surely," Zexion finishes. "But what world has deer?"

"To Twilight Town!" Xion decides opening a corridor and bringing Roxas and Axel through.

"…Do you think she's really that dim?" Zexion asks. "Or did she just want that ice cream they all like?"

"Probably the second one, First Mate Zexion," Bane answers, using Zexion's title now. "Now you, Lexaeus and Namine are gonna help me with something."

"And what would that be?" Lexaeus asks.

Bane glances at Xehanort's machine and grins. "Oh, you'll see," he says with a chuckle.

**Behold, my people! And by people I mean readers.**

**Bane: Your people? As if; they're my people, right people?**

**What!? I'm the author here! Of course they're my people!**

**Bane: Maybe so, but I'm the one entertaining them all, right people?**

**As if, yourself! I-… just realized this chapter is over 3000 words, in itself.**

**Bane: Let me see…*reads word count* 3722!? Seriously!?**

**As I've said before, when there are long breaks I like to give my people lots of words to look at.**

**Bane: …They're my people.**

**GAHH! Whatever! Let the people decide!**

**Bane: Let the people decide? What, is this website some kind of democracy now?**

**Yes. I say so. So, HA!**

**Bane: …Grr. **

**ALSO, I have now edited this chapter a bit.**

**Bane: Yeah – at first, when me and Storm 'argued', we actually argued and he left. Can you imagine?**

**After careful consideration and some creative criticism, I have decided that this worked better. Hope you all enjoy, my people!**

**Bane: Oh, don't start that again.**


	17. Chapter 16: Onward and Somewhere!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 16: Onward and Somewhere!**

_Uploaded May 6__th__, 2013_

**IMPORTANT NOTE!: Okay, before you read this, you should go back a chapter – I changed an important part of it (As of May 6****th****). After that, you may read.**

***Somewhere Where It Is Twilight***

"Man, I've missed doing this," Axel says, sitting on the edge of a well-known clock tower.

"Me too," Xion agrees, licking her ice cream.

"I've missed the sunlight," Roxas says, biting into his own ice cream. "There's never any sun in the World that Never Was, ya'know?"

"…Oh, that's right," Axel says in recollection.

"You know what I wanna see someday?" Xion asks her pals.

"What?" Roxas and Axel ask in unison.

"A sun_rise_," Xion answers, watching the sun sit in the sky. "I mean, sunsets and big, heart-shaped moon are cool and all, but I'd just like to see one."

"Yeah, I-" But Roxas is interrupted! …By a breeze! "Did you guys feel that?" Roxas asks.

"That odd, foreboding breeze just a moment ago?" Axel asks. "…Nope, didn't feel it."

"Didn't you?" The trio looks across the horizon and spot Xehanort riding upon a silver keyblade glider very similar in design to Terra's. "Pity. I thought I had aimed that wind spell right."

The trio summon their weapons, but their attention is drawn upward, to a long, orange, fiery dragon. "Oh yes, that's right," Xehanort says as the trio watch the creature. "My new associate has many minions under his control. Meet… Volvagia."

The slender dragon with a stony, ram-horned helmet on his head glares at the group and roars, spewing flames at them. They quickly dodge by jumping off the clock tower. "…Am I the only one who thinks that was a bad idea?" Xehanort asks the readers… DON'T ANSWER HIM! HE'S EVIL! EVIIIILLL!

As the three fall, Xion leans back and relaxes. "HOW ARE YOU SO CALM!?" Axel shouts, flailing like a duck with a broken wing.

"Cuz I figure Bane'll save us in some weird, semi-random way," Xion answers as the trio lands on a gelatin shaped like a beaver. "Told you."

As they get off, the dragon breathes flames on the gelatin, baking it into solidity. Bane then walks over from the station below the clock tower and bites a piece of it. "…Not bad," he comments, throwing it away. "Team Alpha! Go!" he shouts, pulling out his broadswords as the rest face the dragon.

"You think you're the only one who can make teams?" Xehanort asks from above them. "Team Phi, assemble!"

The dragon lowers to be nearer as several ball-shaped robots join them. The balls uncurl into droid-like robots with blasters on the ends of their 'arms'. Also, Xehanort joins them, keyblade raised. "Attack!" Bane and Xehanort shout in unison, prompting a clash of epic proportions!

Xion and Roxas run through the robots, cutting them to pieces. "I feel like I've seen this somewhere, before!" Roxas shouts as Xion makes 'whooshing' sounds with her keyblade.

"Roxas!" Bane shouts, throwing a pig to the blonde. "Use_ the pork!_"

"…You have _got_ to be kidding me," Roxas says, dropping the pig and allowing it to go karate-ninja on the droid-bots. "…Why can't I do that?" he asks as the pig breakdances, destroying seven of them in one hit.

Meanwhile, Axel and Volvagia (the dragon) stare each other down. "…Take this, poser!" Axel shouts, throwing fire in the dragon's face. It doesn't harm it, but it distracts it enough for Axel to jump up and sock it in the face-helmet… However, Axel just hurts himself because of the stony strength of said helmet. "OW! OW! OW!" Axel shouts, dancing around in pain. Volvagia gives a fiery laugh as it shoots fire once more, forcing Axel to flee.

Also meanwhile, Bane and Xehanort face off in the game of men: hiding behind rocks and shooting spells at each other when they feel it is safe to peek out and do so. "Take this, Urkel!" Bane shouts, throwing a blizzard spell.

"I don't even get that one!" Xehanort returns, shooting a fire spell… However, the two are hiding behind their rocks whenever the other throws a spell, basically keeping them at a stand-still… Wanna watch something else? Yes, let's.

Xion, Roxas and the karate-pig finish off the robots as Axel runs past them. They look and see Volvagia closing in, then follow Axel's lead and run away.

As Bane notices this he clones himself, telling the clone to be quiet and help the doofuses that make up Team Alpha. Banetwo salutes and leaves, allowing Bane to continue _'battling'_ with Xehanort.

"What do we do?" Roxas shouts as the group flees.

"Run faster!" Axel replies, gaining speed. The others speed up too, but Volvagia quickly flies before them and blocks their path. "…Run the other way!" Axel changes, running away as the dragon opens its mouth to set them ablaze.

Then Banetwo runs over and ties the dragon's mouth shut, creating a pressure within it until it bursts! The dragon cries out in pain, falling backwards and lighting afire until it burns away. "…Can you guys do anything without me?" Banetwo asks. "Now help me!" He points to the real Bane as he fades away.

Roxas, Xion and Axel run to aid Bane as Xehanort notices Team Phi's defeat. "No!" Xehanort shouts as Bane grabs him by the arm and throws him at the station wall.

"Bane – 1! Nort – 0!" Bane shouts. Bane prepares to continue but stops as a loud whooshing is heard above him. The group looks up to find a giant spaceship above the Station Plaza.

Xehanort gives a victorious smirk as another several droids fall from the ship. "Farewell, Bane!" Xehanort calls as he is lifted up to the ship by a flying robot. "Until we meet again! Ahahahahahahaa!"

Bane and Team Alpha finish the robots just in time to watch the ship fly away. "…Well," Axel starts. "That was bad."

"Ya' think?" Roxas asks, opening a corridor to Storm's Mansion. They go through as the scene shifts into space, aboard a magnificent ship being piloted through the Lanes Between.

***In A Galaxy Far, Far – **_**Yes, I'm Doing It**_** – Away***

Aboard this ship, Xehanort watches as the trio leaves the world. "Rather unsuccessful, wasn't that?" one of Xehanort's associates asks the teenage villain with a gruff voice. All three of Xehanort's new allies sit at a table behind Xehanort.

Xehanort smirks. "Not quite," he replies, pulling out a blank square of paper. The image on the paper turns into a silhouette of Roxas and his keyblade. "We have at least a little advantage."

"But at what cost?" another associate asks, breathing heavily. "A fair number of my droids were destroyed."

"Not to mention Volvagia," the gruff-voiced one adds. "Though that isn't the greatest loss, it _is_ a loss. I'm starting to wonder if you should really be leading us."

Xehanort glares at the questioning associate. "And exactly what are you insinuating?" he asks.

The associate stands. "Sit down," the third associate orders.

"Or else what?" the gruff associate asks, fist raised and with darkness engulfing it.

The third associate chuckles and stares at the gruff one. "I see," he says. "You desire power, don't you?" The gruff one does nothing. "Ahh, but wait! There's more! You believe it your birthright to rule, enhanced by the power you've already attained, even going so far as to use mind control on your second-in-command."

The gruff one seems shocked by his apparent knowledge of these things. "What do you know?" he asks scornfully. "I am the greatest ruler in the universe! I am the most powerful dark sorcerer of all time! I am King Ganondorf!"

The third associate laughs out loud, mocking and angering Ganondorf. "Fist of darkness!" Ganondorf shouts, reeling his fist back and coating it in darkness.

The third associate pulls a paper from his pocket and flicks it between himself and Ganondorf. Ganondorf throws his punch but hits the card, which expands into a mirror-like wall, blasting the dark sorcerer back. "Temper, temper," the paper-wielding associate says.

As Ganondorf pulls himself up, Xehanort sits at the head of the table. "Ganondorf," he begins. "No one means to question your power."

"I _do_!" the associate who defended himself from Ganondorf says in a sing-song voice.

Ganondorf glares at the man, but sits down nonetheless. "Now, now, Maximillion," Xehanort chides. "Must you be so childish?"

"Mustn't I?" Maximillion asks. "Oh, but you too have great dreams, don't you?" He chuckles as Xehanort shifts uncomfortably. "Oh yes, great dreams indeed."

"And you don't have your secrets?" the other associate asks. "Why assist us if you think us all to be untrustworthy."

"Oh, I don't think – I know," the man replies, moving his long, silver hair out of the way of his left eye. Oddly enough, his left eye is a golden, Egyptian-style eye. He stares at the other associate, but seems surprised. "I see you are skilled at closing your mind," Maximillion says, covering his eye with his hair once more.

"Indeed," the associate replies. "I find it most helpful at times."

"Gentlemen," Xehanort begins. "Come now, let's not bicker with one-another."

"Bicker?" Ganondorf asks with a smirk. "Oh no, I have no interest in bickering. I want to fight!" He stands up forcefully, but Maximillion turns and a beam of red shoots from his gold eye, blasting Ganondorf into the wall.

"You really should get a grip on yourself, Ganny-boy," Maximillion says. "You might hurt someone – namely you."

"Men!" Xehanort commands with more authority. "While we sit here arguing amongst ourselves, our enemies move forward! So, shall we continue to sit here, or shall we move on to the next step of Phase 1?"

The three associates exchange a glance and agree, leaving to their quarters, save for Xehanort, who looks out the window. One of the associates returns to the room moments later. "Brilliant, by the way," Xehanort says, hearing the man's clanking footsteps on the cold, metal floor. "Thanks to those fools only travelling by portal, they will never find our base hidden within space."

"Exactly," the associate agrees, breathing roughly again. "We must not be found."

"Quite right… By the way," Xehanort continues, beginning to pace around the room. "How did you foil Maximillion's mind-reading powers?"

"My mind is my own," the man replies. "His powers utilize the weakness of others, not regarding a strong willpower – he cannot pierce my mind."

"I see," Xehanort replies, heading out. "I shall expect you in the meeting room in an hour."

"Very well," the black-clad jedi replies with a turn, walking out as his black cape flies with the turn.

Xehanort nods. "I'll see you then, Vader," he says, walking away.

***In Storm's Mansion***

Team Alpha and Bane walk through a portal, being greeted by Namine who brings a tray of snacks. "I saw the whole battle on the monitors," she says, pointing to the TV. "What were those things?"

"Bad," Bane replies, taking a hot wing, shoving it up his nose, then burping. "They aren't from this part of the fiction-verse, which means Xehanort really _has_ started messing with things."

"Gee, you think?" Xion asks sarcastically, sitting at the couch and having some hot wings in a more normal way. "Good wings, by the way."

"Thanks. Storm made them," Namine replies.

"…Namine!" Bane hollers. "How is First Mate Zexion's work going?"

"Going well, doofus," Namine replies, slightly annoyed by Bane's shout. "He's at about 25% completion."

"Only 25%!?" Bane shouts back.

"Would it kill you to use an inside voice?" Namine asks, handing Roxas a foot cushion.

"Yes, very much," Bane replies in a quiet whisper.

"Thanks, Namine," Roxas says, placing his foot cushion under his feet and reclining.

"You're welcome," Namine replies cheerfully, leaving to go do something else.

"Team Alpha!" Bane shouts, gathering the Nobodies' attention. "Your first team mission went fairly well, all things considered."

"I feel like we're back in the castle, working for Xemnas again," Axel comments, having a vague sense of déjà vu.

"Ahh, but I am better than Xemnas," Bane points out. "I'm more fun and I don't plan to exploit your powers for my own benefit." The others agree and Bane goes on. "BUT! We also got nowhere closer to the Fifth Wall. The clue said…?"

"We gotta find a place with a deer," Roxas replies with a shrug. "So?"

"SO FIND THE DANG DEER, DANG IT!" Bane shouts back, slightly annoying Roxas.

"Keep it down in there!" Namine shouts, frightening the group, including Bane.

"…Will do," Bane calls back weakly.

"Thank you!" Namine thanks cheerfully.

"…Well, we need a deer," Axel states, pulling the group back on topic.

"Yes!" Bane answers, being careful not to be too loud. "Now, I know a good sniper and a forest, so-"

"No!" Xion shouts.

"Quiet please!" Namine calls in.

"Or else what!?" Xion challenges. Namine walks in, picks Xion up by the arm and pulls her into the other room. Silence falls over the room for a minute-or-two, then Xion walks back in with a smile on her face.

"…Xion?" Roxas asks. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Xion replies, still smiling. "Namine and Storm are making a surprise for someone and needs it to be quiet so she can focus."

"Oh," Bane said. "Why didn't she just say so?"

"She was too focused," Xion replies.

"…Okay!" Bane says. "Onward! …So, no sniper?"

"No," Xion replies flatly.

Bane pouts. "Fine. No sniper… In that case, General Xion, you are to think of our next course of action!"

"Me?" Xion asks.

"Her?" Axel and Roxas ask in equal shock.

"What?" Bane asks the askers. "You didn't think I made her my general for nothing, did you? Now, get to it," Bane finishes, walking to the back of the room, pressing some invisible buttons on the wall and making a passageway open. He then walks through said passageway as it closes behind him.

"…Okay, general," Axel starts. "What now?"

"Beats me," Xion replies with a half-hearted shrug… Get it? Half-hearted? She's a Nobody? …Oh, forget it. "Maybe we should go see how Zexy and Lexy are doing."

"What about Namine?" Roxas asks.

"She's busy," Xion reminds him. "Besides, we need to end it at a good place – I think we're hitting the end of a chapter."

"What makes you say that?" Axel asks.

**And, there ya' have it!**

**Axel: Oh. That's what made her say that.**

**Yup… Huh. I think you're the first non-OC to be in the after-chapter banter.**

**Axel: I am? Sweet!**

**Bane: Hey, author-dude. Sorry I'm late, but-… What are you doing here?**

**Axel: … *Flees***

**Bane: …Okay. Yo.**

**Ho.**

**Bane: Yo ho?**

**A pirate's life for me.**

**Bane: Are we done with that?**

**Yeah. Besides, I'm crazy-happy!**

**Bane: Why?**

**No more classes! I'm free! Free!*fanfare of bagpipes play a salute to America***

**Bane: So, more me?**

**Yes, more you.**

**Bane: OH YEAH! YOU HEAR THAT, READERS! Now I'm gonna get to the fifth wall twice as quickly! Woohoo!$!**

…**A dollar sign?**

**Bane: Yes. I need munny.**

**Too bad. You shouldn't have bought that Sprong-diggiter.**

**Bane: But I already had the Villa-nibbler. It would've just been silly without a Sprong-diggiter beside it.**

…**Do the readers have any idea what we're talking about?**

**Bane: You mean the tools with weird names like Sprong-diggiter and Villa-nibbler? And that they are tools necessary for any project? Probably not.**

**Ahh. I see. Well, I shall send them off in a way that will soothe them. Farewell, my friends. I hope you enjoy the next-**

**Grey: GET OUT AND HIDE YOURSELVES, FOR I AM COMING TO GET YOU, MY FRIENDLY SNACK-MUFFINS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Bane: …When did Grey get here?**

**Yesterday. Adieu, my peeps!**

**Bane: Marshmallow birds? Where!?**


	18. Chapter 17: OOH! Shiny!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 17: OOH! Shiny!**

***With Zexion And Lexaeus***

The two Nobodies continue their efforts by tinkering with Xehanort's inter-fiction-verse machine while listening to music in the background. They work in a high-tech laboratory with many other machines calculating things behind them.

Bane walks in down a flight of stairs. "Any news?" he asks, licking a lollipop.

"Very little," First Mate Zexion replies. "This is really a marvelous machine, but it seems that using it fried it."

"…It's not all that useful if _using it_ will **destroy it**, is it?" Bane asks biting into his lollipop.

"Indeed," Lexaeus agrees. "But we may have something." Lexaeus pulls down a blueprint that he and Zexion made. "You see this?" he asks, pointing to a U-shaped piece on the schematic.

"Yeah," Bane says, licking the stick of the lollipop.

"Well… Did you already finish that?" Lexaeus asks, indicating Bane's candy-stick (which used to have a lollipop candy on it).

Bane nods and Zexion picks up, more used to Bane's weirdness than Lexaeus. "This piece is like a linchpin. It holds the device's stability in place." Bane nods. "When Xehanort pushed the machine by used it three times at once, that piece was broken." Zexion gestures to a pile of scrap metal nearby. Bane scratches his head. "In order to get it working again and send those villains back to their own worlds, we must make another of those." Bane farts squeakily.

"…" Zexion steps back as Lexaeus places a gasmask on his face.

"Well, I had a big breakfast!" Bane complains. "…Anyways, what do you need?"

"Metal," Lexaeus replies, breathing like Darth Vader. "A powerful metal alloy."

"Made from what?" Bane asks, covering his nose and breathing through his hand to try and siphon out the… smell.

Zexion tells Bane. "Gold, Diamond, Silver, Ruby-"

"Oh, come on!" Bane interrupts, blowing away the smell with his voice… Unfortunately, the smell runs into Lexaeus' mask, causing for the giant to scream and run around flailing. "…Where are we gonna find all of that?"

"How should I know?" Zexion asks as Lexaeus tosses the mask off and beats it into dust with his axe-sword.

"Because you need the dang stuff," Bane replies as Lexaeus walks over, axe-sword resting on his shoulder.

"I have an idea," the giant says, handing a large book to Bane.

"'_Gems and Precious Stones of the Universe'_," Bane reads from the cover. "Good! You read this," he says, pushing the large book into Zexion's arms. "And I shall go give the nitwits their orders." With that, Bane leaves via a box forming around him wall-by-wall, then said box disappearing in the same way.

"…I shall never get used to him," Lexaeus announces, going back to working on the machine.

Zexion lays the book on his worktable with a 'thud'. "I would be rather worried about you if you did," he informs his friend as he begins reading.

***In The Main Room (Magic Mirror, Triangular Table, Etc, Blah, Blah, Blah – You Know What Room I'm Talking About)***

Roxas, Axel and Xion play Smash Bros. after failing to find Lexaeus and Zexion. "Winner!" Xion cheers as Roxas ad Axel groan. "That makes win number… 476,742 – ½!

"One half?" Bane asks, appearing in a rain of whipped cream. He licks some of the cream and walks over to them. "How do you have half a win?"

"Me and Roxas fell at the exact same time," she explains. "The game started glitching and we got a new character!"

"Really?" Bane asks, sitting down excitedly. "What character?" Xion shows him the 'Sora' character option. "…NO WAY!" Bane shouts, grabbing a controller. "I call dibs!"

As they play, Namine walks in with an item on a tray, covered by a lid. "Food!" she calls, getting everyone to sit at the Triangular Table. She sets the tray down and opens it, revealing a roast turkey!

Roxas licks his lips and reaches forward, but Bane hits his hand with a mousetrap. "OW!" Roxas shouts, pulling said trap off.

-DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! HALESTORMING IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ATTEMPTS TO DO ANY HARM TO ANY CREATURES BASED ON THIS STORY, IF YOU FIND YOU GET HIVES AFTER READING THIS CHAPTER, DON'T BLAME US, BLAME KIM KARDASHIAN AND SEND HER HATE MAIL-

-THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT TO _ACTUALLY_ SEND KIM KARDASHIAN HATE MAIL, THANK YOU-

Roxas glares at Bane. "Say grace!" Bane shouts. They say grace and then eat the turkey.

"So, how are things going with finding the Wall?" Namine asks, sitting down to eat with them.

"The what? Oh, right, that," Bane replies, eating some turkey leg. "I had almost forgotten that that was the whole point to all of this."

"Well, we _have_ gotten sidetracked just a bit," Roxas admits, eating the other leg. "But the point remains – we have to find the wall before Xehanort and his new team does."

Xion cuts some turkey breast and eats it, joining into the discussion. "Right – Xehanort bad, us good."

Namine nods in agreement, eating the wings of the aforementioned turkey. "If Xehanort gets it, who knows what he'll do with it? Not to mention those other villains he now has working with him."

Axel stares at his puny turkey gizzard with disdain. "…You guys took all the good parts," he complains, burning the gizzard and tossing it aside.

"Well, you should've been faster," Bane informs him, eating his leg with great delight… the turkey leg, by the way.

"Well, we're not getting anything done here," Xion points out, also enjoying her food.

"Precisely," Zexion says, walking in with Lexaeus behind him. "So, are you bored yet?" They shrug, so he takes that as a 'yes'. "Good, because we have a task for you. Lexaeus?"

Lexaeus sets the book about jewels on the table they are eating from and Zexion opens it to a bookmarked page. "Whoa!" Axel says, looking over the many depictions of gemstones that cover the page. "Shopping for a wedding ring, Zexy? Who's the lucky lady?"

Zexion glares at Axel, feeling tempted to make a frightening illusion out of frustration… but he decides not to (unfortunately). "We need you boneheads – not you, Roxas, Namine and Xion – to find some of these jewels for us to finish a project Bane's having us work on."

"What kind of project?" Roxas asks.

Zexion shrugs. "Sorry, Bane told us to keep it secret – even from you guys." The group glares at Bane.

"Sorry – confidential," Bane says, wiping turkey from his face. "Now, who's ready to get going?"

"Not me," Axel replies, sitting on the couch. "I twisted my ankle with all that running. Send Namine."

"What!?" Roxas and Xion shout together.

"Well, umm-," Namine begins.

"Not gonna happen," Bane says, vacuuming the plates with his left cloak sleeve. "By the way, I think I need a new outfit." The group looks upon his disgustingly dirt, mud, and other such material-covered cloak with sickness. Roxas throws up at the sight.

"…You need new clothes," Xion says firmly, patting Roxas' back as he stops vomiting.

"…Fine," Bane consents, leaving to change. "But you guys need to decide who's going on this mission! So that you know, it'll be somewhat similar to recon!"

Xion sighs. "Why can't we send someone who likes recon?" she says, mourning her free time.

"Yeah. If Demyx were here, he'd love it," Roxas adds. A dead lightbulb flashes to life above their heads as they all get the same idea… mostly.

"Let's go get some fried chicken!" Axel suggests. The group looks at him oddly. "…Oh yeah, Demyx too… Whoopie."

Well, our group of Nobodies (being Roxas, Xion and Namine) head out to go fetch Demyx. Do you think this will go well? …Well, I don't and I'm the narrator, so who do you think will be right? …Well, we'll see.

***In The Castle That Never Was, In The World That Never Was, Specifically In The Gray Room… That Never Was***

Demyx is sitting on a couch, tuning his sitar when Namine, Roxas and Xion walk into the room via a Corridor of Darkness. "…Run, run away!" he screams, running into a portal to escape the others.

"Demyx, wait! We-… Shoot, he's gone," Roxas mopes. "Well, we'd better follow him. Charge!" The group then runs into another corridor to follow the water-loving fraidy-cat.

***In Halloweentown***

Demyx looks around the square, finding it free of foes, then walks around, randomly picking things up and placing them in his cloak. Very quietly, Roxas sneaks up behind Demyx.

"…Dem-" But before Roxas can finish, Demyx spins around, smacks Roxas with his sitar and bolts through another corridor.

"…_DANG_! What is that thing made of!?" Xion asks, inspecting Roxas' limp body. She then uses a corridor to drop Roxas back off at Storm's mansion before she and Namine continue the pursuit.

***Just Past The Second Star To The Right***

Demyx peeks about the ship of Captain Hook, hoping to find it empty. He relaxes upon seeing that he is alone. He then walks into the captain's office and picks around the things in there, grabbing a few items as keepsakes.

"…I didn't know Demyx was a kleptomaniac," Xion comments. "You?"

"I thought he was the nicest… besides Roxas, Axel, and you, of course," Namine answers back. Demyx looks around, thinking he heard something and the girls duck below the porthole they were using to watch him.

Demyx pauses, then grabs random stuff in the desk, while still watching the portholes. Xion peeks her head up and Demyx slams her with a water spell, tossing her off the side of the ship as he makes another quick getaway.

"…Are you okay?" Namine calls to the submerged Xion.

Xion scrambles to hold onto the side of the ship, looking furious. "Why couldn't he be this productive when we had missions to do!?" she shouts as Namine tosses her a rope. Xion climbs up and they follow the blonde mullet-wearer again.

***Another Place That Demyx Has Run Off To***

Demyx cautiously wanders the halls of the Castle that Never Was, poking his head around every corner before going that way, then carefully walking down said hallway. As he nears another corner, which Xion and Namine are hiding behind, he cautiously sidles along the wall.

Xion and Namine wait quietly and patiently, the former with a metal object clenched tightly in her fists. As Demyx pokes his head around the corner, all he sees is black metal before being KO'd. Xion stands victoriously, her frying pan raised high as Namine examines the unconscious Demyx. "He's alive," Namine confirms.

"Of course he is," Xion points out. "This story's rated K, isn't it?"

"I think it's rated K+," Namine corrects. "For comical violence."

"…Whatever," Xion dismisses, grabbing Demyx and throwing him through a corridor, then following through whilst spinning her frying pan in her hands.

"…You are getting way too Bane-ish," Namine comments, following her raven-haired companion.

***In Storm's Mansion!***

Namine and Xion wait for Demyx to awaken by playing Kirby's Epic Yarn! Xion is being Prince Fluff. "It's Princess Fluffy!" Xion shouts, correcting the narrator… Well, that was rude.

Axel comes in with a dizzy-looking Roxas. "Rox is still a bit… out of it," Axel informs the two.

"Me guppies are flyin' in the bubbles," Roxas says woozily.

"…Ooooookay," Xion replies, unsure of what to say.

"I'm actually fairly fine," Roxas adds, sitting down. "But I drank something odd that was on my night– Worms in my pants!" After a pause, he continues. "-stand and I think it's making me act funny."

"Goku fruit juice!" Axel shouts, seemingly being random.

"…I think I'm gonna need that frying pan back," Xion whispers to Namine.

"Gokunaga fruit juice," Bane says, walking in with a cup in his hands. He has changed his clothing and now wears a black, leather jacket, with a few pockets, over a dark blue t-shirt, also sporting black jeans and black-and-white tennis shoes. "To be precise. If you all recall from our last little exploit, Storm invented it. It makes the drinker-" Bane takes a swig of his drink. "-say random things, sometimes unwillingly."

"I see," Axel comments, stroking his non-existent beard.

"What are you doing- slimy git!" Roxas shouts.

"What!?" Axel shouts back.

"It was the juice, stupid!" Roxas rebuts.

"Was that last part?" Xion asks.

"No!" Roxas answers, smirking at Axel.

"Alright, c'mere you!" Axel shouts, lunging at Roxas. The two brawl on the floor as Namine and Xion return to their game. Suddenly, they hear a scream.

"Where am I!?" the group turns to see Demyx, awake. "You?" said blonde asks. "…Run, run away!" He tries to flee, but soon realizes he's duct taped to a chair.

"…Dude, what's with you and duct tape?" Roxas asks, remembering many instances wherein Bane and/or Storm had used said tape to capture, restrain or just plain annoy them.

"It's effective," Bane replies, slapping some on the boy's mouth. As Roxas struggles with the tape, Bane walks over to Demyx. "'Ello, Demmy, me boy," he greets Britishly. "'Ow are ya'?"

"…Confused," Demyx replies honestly. "I thought you guys would be mad at me for helping Xehanort."

"Nah," Bane replies, pulling up a yellow, fluffy chair and sitting on it. "Xehanort's tricky. How _did_ he get you to help him, though?"

"He told me to help him, or he'd rip my head off and throw it in a paper shredder," Demyx answers, making the others flinch in phantom pain.

"…Dang, he's messed up," Bane mutters, shaking his head to clear that thought from his mind. "Anyways, who brought him here?" he then asks the group. Xion and Namine raise their hands. "Why?"

"We thought he'd be good at finding the jewels," Xion replies. "He loves recon and all."

"Wait a second," Demyx interrupts. "You guys just wanted me to help you?" They nod. "Oh. I thought you wanted to _ me… Why can't I say _?"

"Because death is not rated K," Bane answers. "So, will you assist us?"

"I thought you only kidnapped people?" Axel asks.

Bane throws an apple pie into the fire-head's face. "Only when necessary," Bane informs him, then turns to Demyx. "So?"

Demyx thinks it over and looks to Bane. "I have a condition," he says. "I want to stay in a suite."

"Done," Bane replies, shocking everyone.

"And I want three five-star meals a day," Demyx adds.

"Okay," Bane says, further shocking his people.

"And I want a pet Lapras – the pokemon."

"Okay, now you're pushing it," Bane says with slight annoyance. "Are we good?"

"…Yup!" Demyx replies. Bane snaps his fingers and the duct tape disappears from Demyx's chair, allowing him to fall off said chair.

Bane turns around and finds Roxas, still with duct tape on his mouth, glaring at him. "…Something on your mind?" Bane asks with a chuckle. He then rips the tape off of Roxas' mouth – not gently.

"OW!" Roxas shouts, rubbing his face. "That hurt, you jerk!"

"Yes, yes it did," Bane replies, smirking happily.

Roxas sighs, then looks Bane square in the eye. "Great farting gobble-blogger, I say ye' billow your smoke up the chimney for the dopplgangers!"

The room remains silent as Bane is apparently speechless. "I… am sincerely speechless," Bane confirms. "I have no words."

"…Seriously?" Roxas asks, genuinely surprised by this turn of events.

"Yes!" Bane says, tossing an arm around the blonde's shoulder. "You have impressed me, my boy!"

"You know we're the same age, right?" Roxas asks, having annoyed déjà vu about Xigbar's several nicknames for him.

"Nevertheless!" Bane goes on. "You are now my General Dos! …That's my second general."

"What!?" Xion interjects. "I'm the general!"

"Hey, what about me!?" Axel asks. "I'm nothing and I've been here just as long as you two.

"Alright, this is getting too official," Bane points out. "To the Triangular Table!"

They sit at the table and Bane places a chair directly across from him for Demyx, at the point of the triangle. After they sit, Bane uses a stalk of corn for a gavel. "Order in the table, order in the table!" he shouts, slamming the corn into the table until it breaks. He then eats the corn and tosses the leafy parts aside. "Xion, your concerns shall be addressed first."

"Thank you," Xion says, standing. "I-"

"Enough!" Bane says, throwing a corn stalk at her and knocking her over. "I see your dilemma. Roxas! Your problems?"

Roxas nods and also stands. "I would like to say-"

"TOO LONG!" Bane shouts, throwing a basketball at the blonde's head and KO'ing him. "Axel?"

Axel looks to Xion, then Roxas, then back to Bane. "I'm good, thanks," he says.

"No, no, go ahead," Bane says kindly. Axel shakes his head 'no'. "**I INSIST!**"

Axel nods quickly, then stands. "Well-"

Bane sprays him with a firehose. "Good point," he says as the three get up and get into their seats.

"Umm…" Demyx starts. "Can I say something?" Although the others look at him like he's crazy, Bane nods. "I think you guys are all focusing on the wrong thing. My question is, 'If Xion's already a general, what will Roxas be general of?"

"Good question," Bane replies as the others look on with dropped jaws.

"…Since when is Demyx smart!?" Axel shouts, angering Demyx. "…No offence."

"Offence taken!" Demyx says, then summons and strums his sitar. Suddenly, a geyser shoots up under Axel, spraying him into the ceiling. "…Now I will accept your apology," the sitar star informs him.

"…Roxas!" Bane announces. "You shall be general of… Demyx!"

"What!?" said blondes shout in unison. "What about Xion?" Roxas asks.

"And why do I have to take orders from him!?" Demyx adds. "No offence, Roxas. Out of the choices I have, you would be my first pick."

"Answers!" Bane shouts. "Roxas, Xion shall be general of Axel – _until I get some more saps to join us_," he adds in a hushed tone. "And Demyx, just think about the combination of Roxas and Axel." Demyx and Bane shudder slightly.

"Hey!" Roxas and Axel shout together. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you two are nuts," Bane answers simply. "Moving on."

"Excuse me, sir," Zexion intercedes. "But, don't we need to get looking for those jewels now?"

"Jewels?" Demyx asks, plucking the strings of his sitar. "What jewels?"

"Ruby, emerald, carbuncle, cobalt, amethyst, diamond, and several others," Lexaeus answers, pointing to the book of gems.

"Oh, I have some of those," Demyx says, pulling several glittering stones out of his pocket and tossing them on the table. The group stares at the stones in shock, then looks to Demyx for an explanation. "I found them while you were chasing me," he explains. "Captain Hook had a lot."

"…Well, several down, a bunch more to go!" Bane says with zeal. "Zexion! There's-…" Bane counts the stuff Demyx gave them. "Twenty-three jewels and a sock here! How many more do we need?"

Zexion checks his notes, marking off the twenty-three gems of Demyx's as he does so. "…We still need three-hundred seventy-seven jewels, and the other sock," he answers.

The group's mouths drop. "WHAT!?" almost everyone shouts.

"Boy, you guys got a lot of work to do," Demyx says, tuning his sitar.

"…Demyx!" Roxas bellows, surprising the other blondy… yes, I said blondy. So? "You're helping."

"…Fine," Demyx whines, strumming in a sad tune. "But I don't see what's in it for me." Bane then places a small box on the table, presses a button and blocks me from seeing… the… story… **OH, COME ON! I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THAT!?**

***Bane***

"My friendly friend!" I call to Demyx. "Along with any other I have not yet told. The Fifth Wall holds the greatest prize of all!"

"Yeah, what do we get after all this is over?" Axel interrupts, earning a nod from Roxas.

"I was just about to explain that," Bane snaps, glaring at the redhead. "The Fifth Wall gives the one who steps through it, spends 24 hours in the 'real world', and comes back through to the 'fiction-verse'… Author-powers!"

Axel and Demyx's heads snap at this. "…Dang," Axel says in astonishment. "All Roxas – I mean Xehanort – said was that he'd give us whatever we wanted… Whoa."

"Whoa," Demyx agreed in awe. "So, if you go through, then… what do we get?"

"Anything!" I answer. "I may be a jerk, but I'm an honest jerk… Okay, strike that – I'm not a jerk." The whole table laughs uproariously as I glare at them. "I will use this!" I threaten, holding up a smoothie… a smoothie-making machine, that is.

The table quiets and Roxas raises his hand. "Yes?" I call sweetly, frightening the boy… Yes, I know we're the same age. Why do you ask?

"And exactly how long is this gonna take?" he asks me.

"Hmm…" I check the index. "Well, we're at Chapter 17 now, so… By my estimation, there's at least, like, 4,000 more to go."

***Well, Let's See What That Doofus **_**(Bane)**_** Did This Time…***

The scene has turned to chaos as all the people argue at Bane… Yup; a doofus, indeed. "Alright, alright! SHUT UP!" Bane hollers, restoring some sense of order. "Halestorming's writing again, so hushy."

"WHAT!?" Xion shouts. "You mean someone else writes when you do that blocking thing?"

"…I've said too much," Bane whispers, then jumps into a black hole on the table, screaming, "I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!"

"…Well, we're stuck," Roxas says, playing with a stress-relief ball.

"Not quite," Zexion corrects him, showing them the book of gemstones once more. "You need to get to work."

Roxas sighs. "Fine. Demyx, get ready."

"Okay," Demyx replies, tuning his sitar.

"…I mean now," Roxas corrects himself, prompting Demyx to go get prepared.

Once he is ready, the two head off with a shopping list worth more wealth than I will ever have in my life… dang, that's depressing.

**Well, there ya' have it. Now-**

**Bane: Storm! Storm! Storm! Storm!**

…**Yes?**

**Bane: I just looked up my name, you know, like I do, and I found this awesome story I'm in!**

**Oh yeah, **_**Kingdom Hearts Café**_**.**

**Bane: …How did you know?**

**Me and FunFanFicForYou are co-writing it.**

**Bane: …And why was I not informed about this!?**

**You're out of the loop. Hit it, Alysson!**

**Alysson: Hi! I'm FunFan's OC, and I'm going to tell you about the story me, Bane and Storm are in! …If you care to listen, of course.**

**Bane: Meh…**

**Alysson: …Well, it stars us, and I'm the owner of the café and waitress, Storm's the chef, and Bane's the host… Yes, people's first impression of our café is Bane… Wish us luck, people. Wish us luck.**

**Bane: …**

**Alysson: Also, our café is a gummi ship and we go all over the KH universe! …And maybe Disney World. So, please read!**

**Yeah, I am co-writing it, but we agreed to post it on FunFanFicForYou's account… Though she and I do banter a bit at the end of some chapters. :) So read, people! READ IT! Oh, and check out her other stuff too!**


	19. Chapter 18: What Now?

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 18: …What Now?**

_Uploaded May 22__nd__, 2013_

***Monstro… Wait, What?***

Roxas and Demyx stroll through the giant whale's innards. "Why are we in here?" Demyx asks, looking around at the squishy 'walls'.

"Zexion insists that that stupid book says there's a jewel in here," Roxas says, stepping in something squishy. "Though how he came to the decision to trust that book, I'll never know."

Demyx shrugs as Roxas wipes the squishy stuff off of his foot, and onto his cloak. They continue on until they reach a sunken (more like swallowed) pirate ship. The two share a look, then go inside the decaying ship. They search the ship for anything shiny and jewel-like, but half-an-hour later all they've found is a lot of rotten wood and a sword.

"Neat, huh?" Demyx asks, swinging the sword around.

"Where'd you get that?" Roxas asks, eyeing the sword warily and stepping away from Demyx.

"It was sitting beside some chest," Demyx explains. Roxas stares at him, dumbfounded.

"…Where was it!?" he shouts, making Demyx jump back with the force of his voice.

"…On the top deck," Demyx says. "But-" And Roxas runs to the top deck, though he fails to spot the chest.

"Where?" he asks, running around the deck. "Where is it?"

"…There," Demyx says, giving Roxas a 'duh' look. Roxas looks and sees a skeleton's torso, also known as its _chest_.

"…" Roxas walks away silently and they continue their search.

***Back At The Mansion***

Bane, Axel, Xion and Namine sit at the Triangular Table as Zexion and Lexaeus start tinkering with the jewels they have nearby.

"What are those things for?" Xion asks as the group at the table plays 'Go Fish'.

"No clue," Axel says, earning a 'thwap' to the head, courtesy of Xion.

"I was asking Bane," she clarifies, pointing to said black-haired nut.

"Full House!" Bane shouts suddenly.

"We're playing 'Go Fish'," Namine tells him calmly, somehow handling his oddness better than the others have been.

"I know, I just remembered that show," Bane explains. "The little girl was funny on it." He chuckles to himself as the others wonder what he's talking about.

"Hey?" Axel says, addressing the group. "What do you think Xehanort and his gang are up to?"

"_Gang?_" Bane asks, saying the word with as much venom as possible. "No. Scooby Doo has a 'gang'. Mickey and his friends are a 'gang'. All the different Xehanorts could be a 'gang', or a musical group. The Xtra-Norts? (Astronauts?) Whatever – those weirdos are **not** a '_gang'_."

"…Okay," Axel consents, feeling like that was dragged much farther than it should have been. "Anyways, what do you think they're up to?"

Bane shrugs. "Ask the mirror," Namine suggests. "It couldn't hurt to have some information on him, anyways."

Axel takes her advice and runs to the mirror. The face appears in the mirror. "Ugh; you," the spirit of the mirror says disdainfully. "Alright, what do you want?"

"Nice to see you, too," Axel grumbles. "Magic Mirror on the wall, what are Xehanort and his lackeys up to… wall," he finishes, making a terrible rhyme.

"You call that rhyming?" the mirror asks, laughing a bit.

"Alright, glassy-face-thing, you try it," Axel challenges.

The mirror clears its throat… Does it _have_ a throat?

(Rhyming words are **bold**, so I'm **told**.)

"Xehanort and his many-a **lackey**, as you tried to rhyme so **tacky**,

Are at this time planning **things**, making ready puppet **strings**.

Lest they fall as they have **before**, they'll make ready many **more**.

If you think your enemy's **three**, you're in for a shock, a shock I **see**.

And when you meet them on a **mount**, be prepared, prepared to **count**."

Axel and the others stand in shock, slight impressed by the mirror's rhyming skills. "Nice," Xion comments.

The mirror-spirit nod-bows and disappears from the glass. "…Show-off," Axel mutters, walking back to the table to find that his grapes (he was snacking) have mysteriously disappeared. "Okay, who took my grapes?" he asks the group.

Namine and Xion shrug and Bane smiles… a purple smile… with purple teeth… As Axel runs after Bane, the girls get up and go over to the couch. "Do you ever get tired of wearing that thing?" Xion asks in reference to Namine's white dress. "It's kinda bland. And surely it gets cold sometimes."

"Do you ever get tired of that heap of black?" Namine asks in return. "It has to get hot sometimes."

"…I feel like this conversation hasn't accomplished anything," Xion says as they sit at the couch.

"AH!" Bane shouts from behind the couch, scaring the two into alertness. "But it has!"

"Where did you come from!?" Xion asks, glaring at the dude who gave her a non-heart attack.

"Well, my dear, that is an interesting story," Bane says, sitting on the back of the couch. "You see, at first I was a villain, thwarting the plans of heroes as I pursued the ultimate battle and the ultimate rival. Ultimately I met Storm, who-"

"Hit the deck!" The group on the couch turns to see Demyx and Roxas coming through a portal of darkness, riding in a small rowboat and being carried through the portal on a wave.

The trio dodges the water as it slams into the couch, washing it away. "…Great," Xion comments. "Now we have no couch."

As Roxas and Demyx get up, Bane whispers to Xion. "Really?" she asks.

Bane nods and Xion leaves the room. "What was that about?" Namine asks.

"I shall answer that with a question," Bane replies as Roxas steps out of the boat only to slip on the wet floor. "Have I messed with Xion much?"

As Namine puts the pieces together, she realizes that Xion probably needs to be warned. As she runs to tell her, though, Bane blows a loud, ear-screeching whistle. "Ten-HUT!" Bane calls, gathering all but Xion and Namine, the latter of which is hiding behind the couch… oh, wait.

"You know the couch is gone, right?" Bane asks Namine as she crouches down in the middle of the room.

Namine sighs and walks over to Bane. "Status report – First Mate Zexion!" he shouts.

Zexion clears his throat. "Lexaeus and I have been working hard, but it seems that we can't make much more progress without a few of the key components," he reports.

"And those would be?" Bane prompts.

"Diamond, ruby, lapis lazuli, coal, topaz and emerald," Zexion answers as Roxas glances around the room.

"General Roxas!" Bane shouts, pulling the blonde's attention to him. "Mission report! NOW!"

"You remind me of Saix," Roxas mumbles. "We found a few, but I don't think we found any of the ones Zexion just listed," he says, handing a small pile to the purple-haired shorty.

"Why does everyone think I'm short?" Zexion asks randomly. "I'm only a few inches shorter than Xemnas."

"Yes, but you're always next to Lexaeus and… well…" Axel tries to find the words, but can't quite decide how to put it.

"He's huge," Bane says, remedying Axel's problem. Lexaeus glares at Bane, who backs off a bit. "…Anyways-" Suddenly, a black hunk of fabric falls on top of Bane. "Hey, who turned off the lights?" Bane asks, pulling the thing off of him. "Oh, it's ready," he says, going into the kitchen. As he does, another Bane runs out of the kitchen. "Oh, hey, is it ready?" he asks the other Bane.

"Yup," this Bane replies, pulling a black couch into the room. "Just be careful on the seams," he adds, showing a bandaged thumb to… himself.

As this Bane walks in, he sets the couch down. "Clones?" Roxas asks in mild surprise.

"No – time warp," Bane replies, setting the couch into place. "That was me getting the fabric. Then I make the couch and go back to this period in time and put it here… Don't go in there, though – time warps can really mess up your eyes if you're not wearing protective shoulder-gear."

"…Yup, he's Bane," Axel confirms as they sit on the couch.

"BANE!" a furious, slightly high-pitched voice shouts from the girls' wing.

Bane yawns. "Namine, could you go take care of that for me?" he asks, flipping through the channels until he comes to a cooking show he likes.

"…Do you have any munny?" Namine asks casually. Bane rifles through his pockets and pulls out about 4,000 munny. Namine swipes it and leaves.

"…Oh, she's good," Bane comments as a British chef yells at people on the TV, many bleeps covering his words. "Guess that's why Storm's got a crush on her."

"What!?" Roxas shouts, turning to Bane.

"…Me no speak Eng-lish," he says in the indiscernible language of gibberish. He then runs away as Roxas chases him.

"Bane's getting chased a lot today, isn't he?" Axel asks. He then realizes that he's alone (Lexaeus and Zexion went to the secret basement to work on some stuff). "…And I'm talking to myself… nice." Axel then flips through the channels on the TV as Storm walks in.

"Hey," Storm greets Axel. "What's up?"

"Not much," Axel replies. "Where have you been?"

"Namine and I have been preparing something… _special_ for Xehanort," he says with a smirk.

"…Yup," Axel says as Storm walks back into the kitchen.

A flash is seen, signaling the other Bane going back to bring the couch to the past. "Dang it, Bane! Warn me when you do that!" Storm shouts as Namine walks into the Main Room, followed by Xion.

"Where is my cloak!?" Xion shouts.

Axel gives a shrug. "I only wear mine," he tells her.

"Look at me!" Xion shouts, poking his head.

Axel looks at her hand, and then sees the rest of her. He laughs uproariously as he sees that Xion is wearing a white Namine-dress with the matching blue sandals. "What happened?" he asks between chuckle-fits.

"Bane stole my cloak!" she shouts. "He told me I needed to shower because we'd be going to Atlantica and smells are increased tenfold there, so-"

"And you believed him?" Axel interrupts incredulously.

"I've never been to Atlantica, okay!" Xion defends as Roxas runs in and spots Xion.

Roxas' eyes widen as he shouts, "Xion, your arms are bare!"

Axel falls off the couch in laughter as Xion glares at Roxas. "Dude," Bane comments, walking in behind Roxas. "Really?"

Roxas shrugs as Axel rolls around on the floor, laughing. "I just couldn't think of anything better."

"Where is my cloak!?" Xion shouts. Bane points to the new black couch. "…WHAT!?" she shouts, summoning her keyblade.

"Hey, it's not that big a deal," Bane says, backing away slowly. Xion, in her Namine-attire, approaches him menacingly. "…Meep," he says, running away as Xion chases him through the halls.

"…Seriously, does he just like being chased, or what?" Axel asks as he gets back up and sits on the Xion-cloak couch. A few minutes later Bane walks in, carrying a black duffel bag and a roll of duct tape.

"Dude!" Roxas shouts at him as the bag wiggles.

"What?" Bane asks. Xion walks in behind him, now wearing a longer, black dress and black flats.

Roxas looks from Xion to the wiggling bag, back to Xion. "What's in the bag?" he asks Bane.

"Something," Bane replies, walking away. After he leaves, the remaining group decides to chat.

"So," Xion begins. "What do you think?" She twirls in her new, short-sleeved dress.

"It looks good on you," Roxas compliments as Namine reddens a bit out of… jealousy, perhaps? Muahahahahahahahahaa!

"Hey, what are we doing right now?" Axel asks. "I mean, things are a bit confusing. Am I wrong?"

"You are not!" The group turns and sees Grey, the villain, entering through a portal of darkness. "And I shall remedy your situation!"

"You!" Demyx shouts, hiding behind the Xion-cloak couch. "You almost fried me!"

"…You lived?" Grey asked passively. "Whatever. Anyways, here's your situation. You all are hiding here in Storm's Mansion from Xehanort. You are also searching for many precious gemstones for a project of Bane's which even I do not understand. Also, Storm and Namine are working on another secret project. And, ultimately, you are all racing to access the Fifth Wall, much like myself."

As the group allows this to sink in, Grey pulls a gauntleted hand behind himself and charges it with lightning-magic. "Okay," Axel starts. "I understand all of that, now. But why are you here?"

"Oh, that is a simple answer, my friend," Grey replies. "I'm here to **eliminate the competition!**" Grey then shoots lightning from his hand, but Demyx raises a wall of water, both magics cancelling each other out. "Stop interfering!"

But, before Grey can strike again, Bane runs in and smacks Grey with a wet noodle. "Fartknocker!" he shouts, kicking Grey in the shin.

"OW!" Grey shouts, holding his shin in pain… What's a shin?

Grey then shoots balls of lightning around the room, hitting the walls and almost hitting many people. "Somebody stop him!" Namine shouts, hiding under the couch.

"Hey!" Namine turns to see Axel hiding beside her. "Find your own couch!" Suddenly, the couch is lifted and the duo sees Grey holding it, along with Demyx, Xion, Roxas and Bane knocked out around the room. "…You KO'd Bane!" Axel shouts, panicking.

"Oh, yes. I did do that, didn't I?" Grey says with a smirk. "Well, you'll be joining them in their little land of sleepy-time soon, so don't pay it much mind." Grey lifts one hand and charges it with electricity.

"Muffin time!" Storm calls, wearing a blue-striped apron and walking in with a tray of muffins. "Who's hungry?" Storm then looks and notices the scene. "…How dare you!?" he shouts, setting the muffins aside and tearing off his apron.

"Oh, it was easy," Grey comments. "You know, if Xehanort came up against you fools, you wouldn't stand a chance."

Storm's eye twitches as he pulls his conductor's baton from his shirt pocket. "Oh, laddie," Storm calls in an Irish accent. "Tell me… Do ye like bagpipes?"

Before Grey can answer, a quiet sound is heard in the distance. It sounds almost like migrating geese… No, maybe a herd of sheep? Perhaps an angry whoopie cushion? …Whatever.

As Grey turns around, a swarm of a thousand bagpipes marches through the windows. Grey watches in annoyance as they march in. "You're sending bagpipes at me?" he asks. "Me? I can use lightning and bend darkness to my will!" he says, forming darkness into a saber to emphasize his point. "What can bagpipes do to me!?"

"This!" Storm shouts, now wearing a kilt. He waves the baton and… nothing. The sound of the bagpipes is so horrific that all who hear it go temporarily deaf… then they hear again.

"OH, SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL, THAT HURTS!" Grey shouts in agony as he regains hearing. Grey then lifts a ball of lightning and shoots it at Storm, who dances away.

The others, however, are fine as Storm has sent them away via a portal of darkness.

***…Elsewhere…***

Bane wakes up first, noticing that he and the others are in an alley. Axel and Namine are watching out the alley, in case of an attack. "What happened?" Bane asks.

"Grey attacked us," Axel reminds him. "So, Storm sent us away and gave us this," he says, handing Bane a small, folded paper.

Bane opens it and reads, 'Bane and others, I must conclude that my mansion is no longer a safe place for you to hide, due to Grey's recent attack. I don't know where you should go, nor am I sure if you'll be able to return either. I do know that I'm writing this as I'm battling Grey, so I can't do much now. Zexion and Lexaeus will be safe in the secret area, and I'll send them and what they're working on to you as soon as you set up a base. Good luck; you'll need it. –Storm'

"…Turd," Bane says, beginning to pace back-and-forth. "So, we have no base and no Storm…This is a problem."

"Ya' think?" Xion asks as she awakens. "Where are we?"

"An alley in the city of Notre Dame," Namine informs her.

"Le Cite de Cloche," Axel corrects her.

"…Anywho," Namine goes on. "What do we do now? Xehanort's out there, watching for us, and we have nowhere to hide… Bane, why don't you have a hiding place?"

"Who says I don't?" Bane asks with a smirk. He then looks to see if anyone is watching and opens a portal of darkness. He then tosses Demyx and Roxas through, then walks through with the others.

***In A Dark Cavern***

"Welcome!" Bane says as a waterfall crashes outside the mouth of the cavern. "To my cave! …Okay, it's not mine, but it works, right?"

"Where are we?" Namine asks, looking around the dark place.

"Somewhere in Tarzan's world; Deep Jungle," Bane informs them. "Like it?"

"It works," Axel says, sitting on a rock. "So, do we have a TV?"

"Nope," Bane informs him.

Axel seems annoyed, but lets it slide. "How about food?"

Bane points outside at the trees. "Bananas. Yum," he says.

Axel seems taken aback, but just continues to ask questions. "Do we have beds?"

"No."

"Furniture?"

"No."

"Light?"

"No."

"Air?"

"…Well, we have that," Bane consents. "And water, too. See?" he says, pointing at the waterfall outside.

"…Well, this stinks," Axel says, settling into his rock. "What do we do now?"

"My head hurts," Demyx says, awakening. He then looks around and notices the cavernous décor. "…Where are we?"

"A cave," Bane says, explaining things to him.

Just as he finishes, Roxas awakens. "Where are we?" he asks upon awakening.

"Oh, come on!" Bane says, and then explains it again. "So, is everyone caught up?"

"No," Roxas replies. "I mean, we've been chased out of the mansion, I get that. But what do we do now?"

Bane smirks and rises from his seat. "My friends," he begins. "We search… for the deer!"

"…I had forgotten about that," Xion admits, settling onto the ground in her dress. "I want my cloak back!"

"We'll see," Bane informs her. "I'll ask the reviewers and see what they think. In the meantime, we search… for the deer!" he shouts, an echo echoing across the jungle.

***Deeper In The Deep Jungle…***

Droids roll around on the floor, moving machinery and whatnot. "Quickly!" Xehanort shouts, observing the progress from a treetop above. "We have no time to waste!"

"What's the rush, Xany-boy?" Xehanort turns to see Maximillion Pegasus walking across the tree branches with two drinks in his hands.

"You know very well what the rush is, Pegasus," Xehanort says, taking one drink from his associate.

"Ah, yes," Pegasus says as his golden eye glints in the bright sunlight. "Indeed… By the by, Ganny-boy wants to see you."

"What about?" Xehanort asks. "And don't tell me he didn't tell you, because I know you would've read his mind, anyways."

"So true," Pegasus admits. "Well, as you said, he didn't tell me, but he wants to complain to you."

"About what?"

"Me, mostly," Pegasus says with a chuckle. "And the fact that his minions want to battle, or something equally vulgar."

Xehanort sighs. "He's not a patient man, is he?" Xehanort asks, watching the sky.

"Not really," Pegasus agrees. "You certainly aren't, are you, Xany-boy?"

Xehanort prepares to argue, but just then, a flock of birds flies out of the trees as an echoing 'Deer!' shoots across the treetops. "…Did you hear that?" Xehanort asks Pegasus.

"Oh, indeed I did!" Pegasus says gleefully. "May I go and play with them, Xany-boy? Please? Oh, pleeaase?"

Xehanort sighs at Pegasus' immaturity. "You said Ganondorf wanted a fight?" he asks.

"…Yes, he did," Pegasus groans, seeing where this is headed. "If you need me, I'll be playing chess with Vader on the ship." And, with that, Pegasus heads to the teleport panel in the inner treetops.

"Pegasus?" Xehanort asks before he leaves. "You have very annoying nicknames for myself and Ganondorf." Pegasus nods. "Why don't you have one for Vader?"

"Firstly," Pegasus starts. "Darth Vader is much more mature than the two of you, and he has also earned my respect. Secondly… His name just doesn't work for a good nickname," he says, leaving and teleporting to the ship.

Xehanort smirks as he looks in the direction the shout came from. "Oh, dear Bane. Don't worry… I won't leave you alone for long," he says with an evil laugh.

**BWA-HA-HA-HA! Now what, my friends!?**

**Bane: …We're homeless.**

**Yup. Good luck with that. *leaves***

**Bane: …Seriously!? Did my AUTHOR seriously abandon me? …Well, as I said earlier, what do you guys think of Xion's dress? Should she continue to suffer? Should she get her cloak back? Will I ever shut up? …Well, that last one's an obvious 'no', but still! Review and etcetera, people! REVIEW!**


	20. Chapter 18-B: Memorial Day

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 18-B: Memorial Day**

_Uploaded May 27__th__, 2013 (Memorial Day)_

Hello, all my loyal readers. I'm not going to lie – this isn't a regular chapter. This is a tribute to Memorial Day. So, if all you care about are the crazy antics of my OC and his associates, too bad. I'll post when I post, and this is a post.

I want to start by personally thanking all of the men and women who keep my country safe and free, for all men and women living here. Yes, I live in the United States of America in case you didn't know. Yes, I'm proud to be an American. And, yes, I'm proud to take the time and effort to post this chapter in thanks of the people who give their lives so that we can live ours freely.

Well, let's be honest – the economy is not at the top of its game, the government isn't listening to the American people with a tender heart and caring ear, terrorism is still a terrible tragedy that continues to attack America today, life is not fair, people all over are whining about what they 'deserve', innocent lives are ended daily, and we all complain when our cell phones are getting a bad connection…Yup.

Yes, we have it rough. We live in a society that gives us incredible leisure and free time – thus the roughness. You think I'm being sarcastic? No way. I'm 100% serious about this. Leisure, comfort and free time are one of the greatest threats to any people in the world.

Think about this – because of an overabundance of free time, and a lack of the Biblical teachings of our Founding Fathers, we are a people prone to sin and doing what easiest for us or gets us the most out of it – regardless of the consequences.

No, I won't rant on the 'horrible people' we've supposedly become, but I will share a few of the Founding Fathers' words on the matter.

"_We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."_ – John Adams" Address to the Military, October 11, 1798

"_Religion and good morals are the only solid foundation of public liberty __and happiness."_ – Samuel Adams: Letter to John Trumbull, October 16, 1778

"_I could dwell on the importance of piety and religion; of industry and frugality; of prudence, economy, regularity and an even government; all which are essential to the well-being of a family. But I have not Time. I cannot however help repeating Piety, because I think it indispensable. Religion in a Family is at once its brightest Ornament & its best Security. The first Point of Justice, says a Writer I have met with, consists in Piety; Nothing certainly being so great a Debt upon us, as to render to the Creator & Preserver those Acknowledgments which are due to Him for our Being, and the hourly Protection he affords us." – _Samuel Adams:Letter to Thomas Wells, November 22, 1780

"_I now make it my earnest prayer, that God would have you, and the State over which you preside, in his holy protection, that he would incline the hearts of the Citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to Government, to entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another, for their fellow Citizens of the United States at large, and particularly for their brethren who have served in the Field, and finally, that he would most graciously be pleased to dispose us all, to do Justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that Charity, humility and pacific temper of mind, which were the Characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed Religion, and without an humble imitation of whose example in these things, we can never hope to be a happy Nation." –_ George Washington: circular letter of farewell to the Army, June 8, 1783

I share these things to remind you of our country's proud heritage. We came to this land seeking freedom – not only freedom to live and work, but for these things so clearly stated in the Declaration of [**our**] Independence –life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I serve my God daily – my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And I specify this proudly.

So, yes, this is a passage for Memorial Day – a day to remember those who fight for our freedom. A day, also, to remember those who have given their lives for the freedom to praise God. A day to remember the sacrifices of all people who have given their lives for God, and for this country – which _is_ "one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all".

I'm a Christian living in a free country. I go to Church and give praise to my God daily. I can face every day knowing that if I die, I'm going to Heaven and I'll never fear death. I pray that all of you can, or can one day say the same. But, wherever you may be, however you do it, and whosoever you be, remember this – God's love is infinite and you can always have his forgiveness, if only you ask for it.

Thank you for reading.

_Oh, say! can you see by the dawn's early light_

_What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming;_

_Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,_

_O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?_

_And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,_

_Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there:_

_Oh, say! does that star-spangled banner yet wave_

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?_

_On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,_

_Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,_

_What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,_

_As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?_

_Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,_

_In fully glory reflected now shines in the stream:_

_'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh, long may it wave_

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!_

_And where is that band who so vauntingly swore_

_That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion_

_A home and a country should leave us no more?_

_Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution!_

_No refuge could save the hireling and slave_

_From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:_

_And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave_

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave._

_Oh, thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand_

_Between their loved home and the war's desolation!_

_Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land_

_Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!_

_Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,_

_And this be our motto: "In God is our trust":_

_And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave_

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave._

_Francis Scott Key_


	21. Chapter 19: Sneak Attacks and New Plans!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 19: Sneak Attacks and New Plans!**

_Uploaded June 9__th__, 2013_

***In Bane's Dark Cavern, In Deep Jungle***

Bane and the others have begun to make the cavern more home-y. They first added lights in the form of wall-candles, then got some large leaves and strung them together into a few chairs and a couch, then decided that the large, triangular stone in the middle of the cave would suffice for a new table. Also, Bane found a TV.

"Where did you get this from?" Axel asks as Bane drags in a widescreen HDTV.

"Outside," Bane replies, setting it in place. "You'd be amazed at what's just lying around in this jungle." Bane then picks up the TV's plug and searches for an outlet.

"We're in the middle of a cave, in the jungle," Roxas informs Bane. "Where are we gonna find an outle-"

A picture then appears on the screen. "…How did you do that?" Xion asks.

Bane answers by pointing to a yellow mouse with red cheeks, who is charging the TV's plug with electricity from said cheeks. "…Pika," the creature says as the group stares at it.

"That still doesn't explain how we have cable," Roxas mutters.

Meanwhile, Demyx and Namine are sitting at the table, playing with some cards that Bane had. "Ya'know," Demyx says, discarding two cards and drawing two more. "When I joined this group, I didn't see this coming."

"None of us did," Namine agrees, tossing a couple of chips into the pot in the middle. "But we've learned to 'roll with the punches', as Bane says… Ready?" Demyx nods and the two show their hands. "I win," she informs him.

"No way!" Demyx shouts, looking at his own flush. "How'd you get a royal flush!?"

Namine shrugs as she takes the pot. "I'm just lucky, I guess," she says, smirking a bit.

Out of nowhere a loud 'thump!' is heard outside. "…Did anyone else hear that?" Axel asks, flipping through channels on the TV.

"No," most of the room replies.

"…Okay," Axel says, dismissing it. Another 'thump!' is heard. "Okay, I know I heard something!"

The group shifts their eyes warily as the waterfall outside stops falling. "…Oh, sweet philly-cheese burger, something ate the waterfall!" Bane shouts in a panic. Namine slaps him. "…Thanks for that," he says, venturing closer to the mouth of the cave.

As he does, a giant, armored arachnid climbs into the cavern, glaring at Bane with its lone eye. "…AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Bane screams, fleeing from the spider. The spider's yellow eye reddens, then it runs in after Bane.

"Poke it in the eye! Poke it in the eye!" Xion says, reading from a _Legend of Zelda _guide book. As the spider hears its weakness being shouted, it turns to Xion. "…Umm, you can go back to chasing Bane," she tries in vain.

However, the spider ignores her words and rushes toward her. Xion summons her keyblade and shoots a fire spell straight into the beast's eye! The creature flails in pain as Xion leaps up and stabs her keyblade into the eye, making the creature disappear in blue flames.

"Oh, what a shame." The team turns to see the evil King of Hyrule, Ganondorf, standing in the mouth of the cave. "I must admit, I didn't think a girl could defeat Gohma. Well fought." He then lifts his fist, coated in darkness, and slams it into the ground, making a shockwave that causes the floor to fall in beneath our heroes, plunging them into the darkness below. "…Just as I planned," Ganondorf lies, turning to leave. Before he does, he snaps his fingers and a large creature follows our group into the shadowy abyss.

***In The Shadowy Abyss***

Roxas groans as he gets up, then looks around him. He picks up a fallen, lit candle and waves it around to search the cavern. He sees a lot of fallen rocks, and a dark, dank cavern. He also spots Demyx, who is strumming his sitar whilst sitting on a nearby rock.

"Demyx?" Roxas asks, walking over to said other blonde.

"Roxas!" Demyx cheers, halting his playing and walking up to Roxas. "You won't believe it!"

"…Bane left and we can all go home now?" Roxas asks, knowing that that's not the answer.

"Nope; sorry," Demyx starts. "As soon as we started falling, I used my sitar and an underground river to make us all land softer!"

"…So, why was I unconscious?" Roxas asks, remembering that he awoke on a bed of rocks, not water.

"I said softer, not soft," Demyx explains. "Anyways, as soon as we landed, a big, huge monster appeared! It roared, so I ran… When I got back, everyone was gone, so I started strumming my sitar so that they could follow the sound and find me."

"…Okay," Roxas says, walking toward a passageway.

"…Okay?" Demyx asks. "Well, what now?"

"What are we, idiots?" Roxas asks with annoyance. "These villains are making us look like a bunch of idiots who just amble about and run into lucky situations just because Bane's friends with his author!"

"…You have a point," Demyx admits. "Does anyone believe we could succeed at this?"

"Probably not," Roxas admits. "Xehanort doesn't, Grey doesn't, heck, I bet none of the readers do, and I'm not even sure Storm believes in us!"

As they continue to walk on and rant, they hear a roar in the caverns. The two sidle along the wall and reach the location of the roaring. They look down a passageway and feel a wave of heat, as well as a dim, orange light coming from farther down.

"…Well, nothing down there," Demyx says, beginning to walk away. Roxas grabs him and pulls him down the corridor. Once they reach the end, it opens into a large, squared room with about seven feet of stone walkway around the rim, and an enormous pool of lava in the middle. "…Well, nothing down here," Demyx tries again, attempting to leave.

Roxas stops him and points to one corner of the room. "Look!" he says, pointing to the unconscious Xion, Namine and Axel.

"Where's Bane?" Demyx asks, looking around the room for both Bane and the monster.

"Wherever he is, he can handle himself," Roxas dismisses, beginning to walk around the perimeter of the room to his friends. Demyx follows, faintly hearing a 'thump' in the background.

"Did you hear that?" Demyx asks Roxas quietly.

"The last time someone asked that, we were attacked," Roxas points out. "Be on your guard."

Just as Roxas finishes saying this, a gigantic beast falls from above, scaring a squeal out of Demyx, who then produces his sitar and strums frantically, creating a hundred water clones, which overtake the giant beast and toss it into the pool of lava, incinerating it.

"…What was that!?" Roxas shouts, indicating the gurgling pool of lava. "And why were you never that useful during missions!?"

"…It scared me," Demyx replies with a shrug. "And I knew I couldn't run away, so… I beat it. I beat the monster!" he celebrates, fist-pumping the air. Roxas shakes his head and the duo goes to check on their friends.

"Wh-where am I?" Axel asks upon awakening.

"In a lava pool room, about two feet from burning your bones to dust," Roxas informs him, pointing to said pool.

"…Oh," Axel says, getting up. "Where's that thing!?" he then shouts, frantically looking around.

"Demyx took care of it," Roxas says as Demyx puffs his chest out with pride.

"…No, really, what happened to it?" Axel asks, deflating Demyx's pride. Demyx then flicks one of Axel's hair spikes and continues to try and awaken Namine and Xion.

"Hey, guys?" Demyx calls to the others. "They aren't waking up, and it's getting really hot in here. I think we should get them out." The duo agrees and Axel carries Xion while Roxas carries Namine out of the lava-filled room.

Once out, the group returns to the place where they all fell and Demyx and Axel try to salvage some more candles while Roxas keeps watch over Namine and Xion.

Xion slowly stirs. "…Ow…" she says, getting up and rubbing her head. "Where am I?"

"In the place where we fell," Roxas informs her as Demyx finds two more candles – both unlit.

"…We fell?" Xion asks as Axel lights the candles, slightly freaking Demyx out. "When?"

"When that green guy came and slammed his fist into the ground, remember?" Roxas explains as Demyx magically splashes Axel for the prank.

"Oh, yeah," Xion says, remembering. "I remember that… Turd," she mutters as Axel and Demyx begin to fight each other.

"…What are you two doing!?" Roxas shouts as he notices the two begin to fight.

"…He started it!" they both shout as Axel holds his chakram to Demyx's head and Demyx has his sitar lifted high to whack Axel with.

Roxas just shakes his head and Xion facepalms. "Doofusses," Namine mumbles, waking up. She then looks around and assesses their situation. "…We're lost… at the bottom of a cave… probably a system of caverns that bends itself into the very core of this world… that's bad," she finishes, getting up.

"AH!" Bane hollers, shooting up from a pile of rubble. He remains airborne for a moment until he hits the ground, standing in a strong pose. "But that is good! Good, I say!"

"…What's wrong with you!?" Demyx shouts, not yet used to… all that is Bane. "Seriously, how do you guys stand him?"

"I've learned to live with him," Roxas says.

"I'm waiting to attack him while he's sleeping," Axel says.

"I think he's a misunderstood maniac," Namine explains.

"I kinda like him," Xion adds.

"WHAT!?" the entirety of the group (including Bane) shouts.

"…He's kinda crazy, but he _is_ really fun," she explains.

Axel's eye twitches while Roxas simply sighs. Suddenly, the cavern walls shake. "…I really don't like today," Roxas says as the floor shakes.

"Maybe it's a good thing!" Demyx tries. Axel hits him. "…It's not a good thing, is it?"

A giant bubble falls from the sky, landing before our… heroes? Sure, why not? The group then takes battle stances and summons their weapons. The bubble pops, revealing… Alysson!

"Alysson?" Bane asks, walking forward. "How'd you get here?"

"Storm sent me to help you," she says, walking over as the others lower their weapons. "You know, you're really bad at dealing with problems."

"…Grr…" Bane growls and Alysson opens a portal of light to take them away.

After they walk through and the portal closes, a few dozen monsters fall from the sky and begin searching for our heroes. "Search every cavernous walkway and every nook of this place!" Ganondorf orders from above. "Find them!" They begin walking around lackadaisically. "**NOW!**" They run about like chickens without their heads as Ganondorf searches with his eyes.

***In Another Location Deeper In The Caverns***

Alysson walks out first, followed by Bane, then Roxas, then Demyx, then Axel, then Namine, then Xion, then one of Ganondorf's minions.

"Okay, firstly…" Bane stops as he turns around and notices an oddity in the group. "…Roxas, did you cut your hair?" he asks.

"Monster!" Demyx hollers, whacking it with his sitar and knocking it into the sky, not to be seen for about five chapters.

"…Well, Demyx has finally place among us,earned his place among us!" Bane says, now smiling. "Welcome, Demmy!" The others clapped awkwardly, not entirely sure why they were clapping. "Now, our next order of business… REVENGE!"

The group cheers wildly, except for Roxas, Namine, Alysson and Xion. "I want my cloak first!" Xion interrupts.

"Nay!" Bane argues. "You look cuter in that dress!" A pause of silence fills the air as what Bane just said sinks in.

"…You have a crush on Xion!" Alysson shouts, bursting into laughter.

"What!?" Bane and Xion shout. "Nay!" Bane hollers again. "I simply acknowledge that she isn't an ugly female."

Another silence coats the room as- "Ugly!?" Xion shouts, summoning her keyblade.

"NOT ugly!" Bane repeats. "Not ugly!" After another moment, Bane flees from the wrath of a woman scorned…ish.

Once the two are rounded up and Bane's injuries are treated, they sit around a triangular rock. "Seriously, how do you find all of this triangular stuff?" Axel asks as they sit down.

"Simple," Bane replies whilst flossing his teeth with a string of moss. "You remember those wishes Storm gave me?" Axel nods. "Well, as Grey was attacking, I asked him to grant me a wish – that I could always find a triangular table-like object whenever I wanted."

"…That's a stupid wish," Axel mutters. Bane tosses his moss floss at him. "Get it off! GET IT OFF!" Axel shouts, tossing the moss floss onto Roxoss.

"AGH!" Roxas shouts, throwing it into the air where it bursts into flames. "…Was that planned?" he asks Bane.

"…Nope," Bane replies, checking his teeth in a reflective stone. "…Is this one of the stones that Zexy and Lexy needed?" he asks. They shrug, so Bane pockets the stone, just in case. "NOW!" he hollers, causing a sonic boom. "We need to find the deer. To the Jungle of the Cannibals!"

"You're messed up," Alysson says, deciding to sit down and let the idiots among her make the decisions.

"Again!?" Roxas, Axel and Xion shout. "We were almost barbecued there!"

"…Fair point," Bane says, turning his head to check for anyone that was listening in. "…Do you smell that?" he asks his allies quietly.

They all take a whiff and Bane pulls out a vacuum, sucking up the air around them. Nothing happens, so he stores the vacuum away. "…What just happened?" Roxas asks out of curiosity.

"Oh, I just confirmed that Xehanort was spying on us from that rock up there," Bane says, pointing to a ledge above them.

"Darn you!" Xehanort says, leaping down. He then breaks his leg in the fall. "AHHH! SWEET FLIPPING FRANCHISES, THAT HURTS!"

"Yeah, I hear a broken femur is like the most painful thing there is… next to child-labor," Bane says, literally kicking Xehanort while he's down.

"…Droids, attack!" Xehanort shouts after Bane kicks him in his arm. Many droids fall from the sky and the group prepares themselves.

"Ohh, why do Vader and Ganny-boy get to have all the fun?" the groups look up to see a man with long, white-gray hair, a golden eye, and a fancy, red suit looking at them from above. "I want to play with them a bit."

Xehanort sighs. "Is that card of yours ready?" he asks, trying to get up with a broken leg. Bane uses some earth magic to move Xehanort's foot, putting him in a splits position. "…CURSE YOU, BANE!" he shouts in a very high-pitched and squeaky voice. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME!?"

"…You're evil, you kidnapped Roxas, you're attacking me, you send tons of villains after us, you want to beat me to the Fifth Wall, you have bad hair, and… I just _reeeeaaaally_ wanna mess with you," Bane says with a creepy smirk.

"…Pegasus, get them!" Xehanort shouts as Bane very, very _slowly_ shuffles toward him.

"Of course, Xany-boy," Pegasus says as the droids leave. He first pulls a card out of his jacket and flings it into the air.

-PLEASE NOTE – I WILL NOT LIKELY BE USING ANY REAL YU-GI-OH CARDS. THEY WILL MAINLY BE OF MY OWN INVENTION AND NO ONE WILL DUEL.

IF YOU CAME HERE TO READ ABOUT A DUEL, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. DUELING WITH CARDS IS FOR WIMPS. AND I CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE I USED TO BE INTO YU-GI-OH.

HECK, I PROBABLY STILL HAVE OVER A THOUSAND CARDS IN MY ATTIC. THANK YOU FOR READING-

"Summoning Cloud!" Pegasus shouts as the card expands into a shadowy cloud, filling the air with blackness. "Summon – Shadow Roxas!"

A black, shadowy form that resembles Roxas falls from the cloud, landing before our heroes. "Attack!" Bane commands!

The group rushes to attack the shadow Roxas. "Summon – Dustflier Heartless!" Pegasus continues.

"What!?" Roxas shouts, recognizing this Heartless. A great, brown wyvern-like creature descends from the dark cloud, landing on the ground with a shockwave that pushes our heroes (and Shadow Roxas) back from it. I gives out a mighty roar as it decides which one to go after. It immediately spots Roxas and roars at him.

"…As Demyx would say: run, run away!" Roxas says, running away as the creature chases after him.

"…Okay," Bane says, watching as Roxas and the creature disappear into the cave, followed by Alysson. "Everyone else, attack the Shadow Roxas!" They charge once more at the shadowy clone.

"Summon – Heartless Swarm!" Pegasus adds. Several dozen Shadow Heartless fall from the sky to add to our heroes' worries.

"Shadows?" Xehanort asks as he limps up to Pegasus. "You realize that they are the weakest species of Heartless in existence, don't you?"

Pegasus nods. "Yes, but the card's power is limited. The more we use it, the more powerful it becomes," he explains.

"Good," Xehanort says, watching as the group below begins to decimate his Heartless. "Because, at this rate, we'll never slow them down enough… How has the search been going?"

"The search for the map?" Pegasus confirms by reading Xehanort's mind. "We're working on it. For some reason, Vader thinks Storm's world is inaccessible by ship… Though we do have those lovely little dark corridors of yours to work with."

"Indeed," Xehanort agrees, seeing that all of the Heartless are gone and now they are fighting the lone Shadow Roxas. "…Perhaps I underestimated them," he mutters as they slay the Shadow Clone.

"Maybe," Pegasus says, holding up two blank cards. "Nevertheless, we've gotten what we came here for," he says as the cards are filled; one with a Silhouette Axel and chakrams and the other with a Silhouette Demyx and sitar. "But, for some reason, I can't analyze those girls – Xion or Namine – properly… Do you think it's the dresses?"

"If it were the dresses, then you wouldn't have had problems analyzing Axel and Xion back when you got Roxas, would you?" Xehanort states, opening a corridor of darkness behind them. "Time to go."

"Ohh, but I've hardly had any fun yet," Pegasus whines. "Just five more minutes? Please?"

"You know as well as I that your cards' energy must be recharged before you can do any more," Xehanort says, walking into the dark portal.

Pegasus sighs. "Well, I suppose you're right," he says, turning to the shadowy cloud he created earlier. He holds his hand out and the cloud turns itself back into a card then flies into his hand. Pegasus pockets it before leaving through the dark portal.

Down below, Bane and his assistants rest themselves. "Think they're done?" Axel asks, taking worn breaths and resting a twisted ankle.

"The better question would be this: why do you hurt your ankle so much?" Bane asks, getting up and beginning to pace over the bumpy rubble of stones littering the floor. "Nevertheless, we won!"

The group nods, and then helps each other up while Alysson and Roxas also walk in. "So, you beat the Dustflier?" Xion asks.

"Mostly me," Alysson says with a shrug. "Roxas helped out by healing me, though."

"Hey, did you guys feel something weird earlier?" Demyx asks. "Like someone was… watching you?"

"Duh," Xion says, pulling on her dress to free it from under a stone. "Xehanort and that weirdo with the shiny eye were watching us from up there, weren't they?"

"No, not like that," Demyx corrects. "It was like someone was… analyzing us."

"How the hankie can you tell when someone's 'analyzing' you?" Bane asks in shock.

"No, I think I get what Demyx is saying," Axel agrees. "I felt it too. Like there was someone in my head, taking little notes about all my moves and powers."

"…You guys are messed up," Alysson says, shaking her head.

Roxas joins her, then pauses as he thinks of something. "Wait a minute… did you feel a bit dizzy right after that?" Axel and Demyx share a look and nod. "I thought so… I felt the same thing back when we fought Xehanort at Twilight Town, when he was using that dragon and those droids of his."

"Actually, they aren't his," Bane corrects. They belong to some other dude I'm not particularly apt to meet. Now, can we relocate? This place is annoying." The group agrees and Alysson teleports them to a new world.

**BOO!**

**Bane: …You're an interesting person, you know that, right?**

**Yup. Now, who's hungry!?**

**Bane: …Are you feeling okay?**

**Excellent, actually. I've been in a writing frame of mind lately, and I may even be able to get back to my Pokemon story soon.**

**Bane: WHAT!? What about me!? You didn't even post a chapter of mine last week!**

…**Can a guy not take a break? I say I can! And, besides, it's my story, so I win. Ha.**

**Bane: …Whatever. By the way, is Xion getting her cloak back soon?**

**No, I know you like the dress better.**

**Bane: Oh, good, I was… HEY!**

**See ya' readers!**


	22. Chapter 20: Blah, Blah, Blah, DEER!

_**Bane's Adventure To The Fifth Wall**_

**Chapter 20: Blah, Blah, Blah- DEER!**

***In The Land Of Dragons***

Alysson leads the group into a populated town. "Xehanort won't think to look in the middle of a town," she says, leading them to a particularly yellow building. "Storm's set up a place for you to stay, and…" She opens the door, revealing Zexion and Lexaeus sitting on a couch inside.

Zexion looks over. "Ah, so you've found them," he says, setting a book down. "Where were they?"

"Deep Jungle," Alysson replies as the others come in. "They were being menaced by Xehanort and his lackeys."

Bane chuckles. "Menaced," he repeats. "That's a fun word… Menaced. _Menaced_. **MENACED! **…menaced… It doesn't even sound like a word anymore."

"Anywho," Alysson says, closing the door behind them. "There are two rooms upstairs – one's the guys' room, the other's the girls' room. I'm going to leave you all with Bane, so-"

"Why do you hate us!?" Axel shouts. Bane whacks him on the head.

"Don't think I forgot that comment you made earlier about attacking me in my sleep," Bane says, giving Axel a 'watching you' look. "Now, where can we find a deer…"

"At the local farm," Lexaeus says, holding onto a leash. The group's eyes follow the leash to a deer. "We found it while we were waiting for you, along with this," he says, holding up a plate of Chinese stir-fry.

"…The map!" Bane shouts. Zexion holds up said map and sets it on the deer, being unable to do the opposite. As they do, the map glows and turns purple!

"That's new," Bane says, picking up the map, which now has words on it in gold lettering.

"'_You group who seeks to find the wall, must now go seek the one who's tall'_…" Everyone looks at Lexaeus for a moment. "…_'He's strong as stone, with wisdom great – you've met before, because of fate'_…" Everyone looks at Lexaeus once more, while he sighs and goes upstairs. "…_'He wields a mace, he's strong as a boulder. He rides the storm clouds, loaded with thunder'_… Oh no," Bane says.

"What? You know who we're after?" Zexion asks.

Bane nods slowly. "…Cornerstone," he says quietly. "…Grey's partner."

The rest of the group widens their eyes in fear. "Wait – let me see if I get this," Demyx says. "We need to find this guy to get to the wall?" Bane nods.

"And he's working with another guy who's also trying to get to the wall?" Axel adds. Bane nods.

"But without him, we're stuck?" Xion finishes. Bane nods.

"…Well, that stinks," Roxas says, trying to think of a plan.

"Well, first thing's first," Bane says. "We need to eat! To the Chinese food!" They all go to an eatery where they get some stir-fry and eat there (except for Lexaeus, who stays home to guard the map). "Okay, General Xion," Bane starts once there. "Now what?"

Xion looks up, noodles falling from her mouth. She slurps them up, then smiles. "Well, you said it yourself, Bane," she says. He looks confused, so she goes on. "Revenge!"

The crowd stares at them for a moment, then begins whispering. "Why are they whispering?" Axel asks Xion.

"I'm not sure," Xion replies as many patrons scoot away from them. "But I have a bad feeling about it."

"You!" The group turns to see General Shang and several armored soldiers. "You are under arrest!"

"Why?" Xion asks, taking up her position as General to be in authority.

"Because of this!" he says, showing them posters with their faces on them and the word 'WANTED' across the tops. "Now, will you come quietly, or not?"

They all share a glance and shrug. "Sure, why not?" Xion replies.

General Shang looks shocked. "Really? I was warned you might fight me," he says, telling the guards to stand down.

"We fight villains and bad guys," Bane says, slurping the last of his noodles. "Not dudes in metal skirts." As Shang self-consciously checks his armor, the soldiers lead Bane and company to the palace doors.

"Wait here," Shang says, going inside as two guards close the large doors behind him.

"Why do you think we're here?" Axel asks, eyeing the remaining guards.

"Who knows?" Bane asks. "I just hope we can get out of here and start looking for Cornerstone soon."

"You may enter," Shang's voice calls from behind the doors. The two guards open the doors, allowing our group to enter, then quickly shut the doors behind them.

"…That was odd," Bane says, looking around. "Hey, where's Shang?"

"Over here." The group looks up to see a young man on the rafters. He wears an orange martial arts outfit, with white lines from the long cuffs of his shirt to the neck, and from the cuffs of his pants to the hip. His eyes are a fierce brown and his hair is black and short, but is fairly long in the front, with one side falling over his forehead and the other half combed up with orange highlights. "Surprised?"

"Taiyo!" Bane shouts.

"Bless you," Namine says.

"No, that's his name – Taiyo," Bane explains, pointing to the orange-themed dude. "He works for Grey and can do fair voice imitations… apparently."

"Shang's inside the next room," Taiyo explains. I had the doors magically locked so that no one would disturb us while we mess with you."

"Us?" Bane asks. An icy chuckle is heard nearby. Bane turns to see another person on the rafters and sighs. "Should've figured you'd be with Taiyo, Tsuki."

Tsuki is the same age as Taiyo, them being twins, and wears a similar outfit in purple, with shorts instead of pants. Her eyes are an icy blue and her hair is also black and short, except in the front where half of it falls over her face with purple highlights. "Don't be so mean," she says to Bane. "After all, we have a history together."

"…What!?" everyone (including Taiyo and Bane) shouts. "We do not!" Bane says.

"Since when did you two date?" Taiyo asks overprotectively.

Tsuki sighs. "We didn't," she says. "I was talking about the fact that we've fought before."

"…True," Bane admits with a nod. "I remember the last time we fought." Bane chuckles. "I threw you far."

Tsuki glowers at Bane then leaps down at him. Bane dodges her fist as ice covers the area where Bane was standing. "…Ice!?" Axel shouts. "She's an ice-specialist?"

"Yup," Bane says with a smirk. "Have fun." Axel smirks and summons his chakrams with a flame. As Axel begins to go toward Tsuki, Taiyo falls between them and kicks at Axel… from about ten feet away. This would normally do nothing, however, a blast of energy shooting from Taiyo's foot begs to differ. Translation: Taiyo kicked at Axel and an energy blast shot from his foot, slamming Axel into a wall.

"…Watch out for him," Bane warns a little late.

"Ya' think!?" Axel shouts, pulling himself from the wall. As he prepares to attack, lightning hits him from above. "Am I just easy to hit, or what?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" The team looks up and sees Grey laughing maniacally. "Well, well, well, look what the deer dragged in," he says, floating down to the floor. "I saw that hulk of yours getting a deer a little while ago. You really should try to hide yourselves better."

"…Grey," Bane begins, smirking. "Did it ever occur to you that you're trying to go up against a guy who does the insane and impossible?" Grey's smirk falters a bit. "And that I have allies at my disposal from across the universe of Kingdom Hearts?" Grey stops smirking. "Also, I have Storm."

Grey sighs. "Must you vex me so?" he asks, shaking his head. "Get him. And his little friends, too!"

Taiyo runs in and begins fighting against Roxas and Axel, Grey battles with Bane and Zexion, and Xion, Tsuki and Namine… chat. "So, what's it like?" Tsuki starts. "Being with Bane and all?"

Namine raises her eyebrows in shock at Tsuki's lackadaisical attitude, but quickly shrugs it off because much weirder things have been happening to them lately. "He's alright," Namine says. "Once you get used to him. A little annoying at times, yes, but he's still not too-"

"An orange fart and a grapefruit hanky for ya'!" Bane shouts, riding a buffalo and dodging Grey's lightning blasts. "I've got an apple and it ain't for keepin' the doctor away!" He then throws an apple, hitting Grey in the head.

"…What is WRONG with you!?" Grey shouts, infuriated. Grey continues to attack Bane as Zexion sits back, no longer needed for this fight.

"How are you?" Zexion asks as he joins Tsuki and Namine.

"Good," Namine replies as Tsuki pulls her hand behind her back. "How's Bane?"

Zexion watches the battle nearby as Bane grabs Roxas by the ankle and starts swinging him at Grey. "PUT ME DOWN!" Roxas shouts just before Grey zaps him. "…AND HIT HIM FOR ME!" Bane continues to swing Roxas at Grey, accidentally hitting Roxas against some walls in the process. "I SAID HIT HIM _FOR_ ME, NOT _WITH_ ME!" Roxas shouts as Bane tosses Roxas against a wall, opting to go after Grey with a new weapon.

As Roxas limps back to the group, Zexion answers Namine. "I think he's doing fine."

Meanwhile, Axel continues to fight Taiyo. "Hold still!" Taiyo says, kicking energy blasts at Axel while the two dance around in a circle.

"No!" Axel replies, throwing a chakram and tripping Taiyo with it. "Burn!" he shouts, sending a shockwave of fire at Taiyo and blasting him back.

"And, now I join," Tsuki says, pulling up an icy fist and jabbing Namine with it, freezing her in ice.

"Hey!" Roxas shouts, summoning his keyblade and shooting a fire spell at Tsuki, who jumps over it. "Fire!" Roxas calls, shooting another two magic flames at Tsuki.

"Freeze!" Tsuki hollers, covering her fists in ice and punching the two fireballs, making them disappear. She smirks as Roxas runs at her, still weak from his… _battle_ with Bane and Grey. "Chill!" she shouts, pushing Roxas back with a frigid wind, then laughing. "Nice try, but I've been trained to have an absolute advantage using only ice magic. You can't beat me in a million-" And Cornerstone pushes her aside to face the group. "…Yeah, don't mind me. I wasn't _talking_ or anything," Tsuki says, annoyed.

"Grey wants her," Cornerstone says blatantly, pointing to Namine. Roxas stands in front of the frozen girl protectively.

"Duh," Tsuki says, getting up. "Why do you think I froze her? Less resistance."

Cornerstone sighs. "Do you have to be so direct?" he asks her. "Creating a dark portal underneath her would have been much easier."

Zexion moves behind Xion to block himself from view and quietly opens his lexicon. "Mirror – negative," Zexion says, waving his hand over a page.

Out of nowhere, a cornerstone made of darkness appears and slams Tsuki into the wall, knocking her out. The real Cornerstone quickly summons his staff and fights off the clone while Zexion opens a corridor of darkness. "Go!" he orders, ushering Xion through while Roxas carries the frozen Namine through. "Axel! Bane!" he calls.

Axel finishes Taiyo by slamming him into the wall, Koing him. He then runs into the portal as Bane continues to fight Grey. "Bane!" Zexion calls.

"Busy!" Bane replies, fending off Grey's ethereal blades.

"Very busy!" Grey adds, attacking Grey mercilessly. Zexion quickly uses some illusion magic to create a wall in front of Grey, causing for the villain to slam into it and fall to the floor twitching.

Bane and Zexion use this opportunity to leave via the corridor, leaving Cornerstone, Grey, two unconscious martial artist and Xion… Oh dear. "Umm… I'm leaving," Xion says, opening a portal.

"No," Cornerstone says, bringing up a stone to block her way.

She turns to face the now-awake Taiyo and Tsuki, Grey and Cornerstone. "…Well, this is fair," she says, summoning her keyblade.

Just as they prepare to fight, the wall is blasted open and the entire group looks to see a black ship sailing toward them as it rips the ground apart. "…He brought his ship?" Grey asks in disbelief. "He's done a lot in the past, but sailing a ship on dry land… not normal."

"Not quite!" The group looks to the helm of the ship to see Captain Jack Sparrow steering it. "And we'll be taking the young lass back now," he adds, drinking a swig of-. "What?" he asks, taking another swig? "What is this?"

"Coke," Bane answers, walking along the ship's railing. "Can't have you drinking alcohol in a K+ story."

Jack looks between the bottle and Bane. "Why is the rum gone?" he asks drunkenly.

Bane sighs as Xion quietly opens a corridor of darkness to get to the ship. "HALT!" Grey shouts, running at her.

But, from nowhere, Bane teleports between them, summons one of his broadswords and transforms it into a gun, then shoots a fire crystal at Grey, which explodes, pushing Bane and Xion into the corridor, and Grey into the wall.

Bane and Xion fall onto the deck of the Black Pearl as Jack steers the ship away, into an enormous portal which takes them back to the seas of Port Royal.

***Port Royal***

Jack steers the ship to port, and the quiet night air is the only thing to greet them. "Where are all the guards?" Xion asks, having been to this world a time or two before.

"I sent Zexion to distract them before we got here," Bane explains, leaping from the ship to the port, followed by Xion. "Thanks, Jacky!"

"Ahh, but me thinks you're forgetting something," Jack says, walking down the plank to Bane.

"What? Oh, right," Bane says, fishing in his jacket pocket, then pulling out a rolled up parchment. "Map to fortune," he says, tossing it to Jack. "Just make sure you use that compass of yours too. The map shows where the treasure is once you _get_ to the island; it doesn't tell you where the island is."

"Quite right," Jack says, saluting them as he boards his ship, stumbling up the plank. "But next time I want a map to a rum storage!" he says as he pilots the ship out of port.

"So, do we have a lodging?" Xion asks as they walk through the town.

"Yup," Bane answers, leading her to a building about two stories tall. I say 'about' because half of the second floor has been blown up by cannon fire. "Here we are!"

"…This?" Xion asks, opening the door which creeks loudly. "We're living here?"

"For tonight," Bane replies, walking in and pulling Xion with him. "Tomorrow we'll find a better location to base our plans from."

They walk into a small living room, in which everyone is cramped. Demyx is sitting on a couch, Namine is in one corner of the room, trying to cook dinner, Lexaeus takes up an entire corner of the room, and Zexion is reading his lexicon.

"We have Xion!" Bane announces. They nod to her and go back to their things.

"Well, I can certainly feel the love," Xion says, sitting beside Demyx and leaving them both with no elbow room. "…I'm squished."

"Me too!" Demyx shouts, trying to make some room. He ends up being pushed off of the couch by Xion. "Hey!" he shouts, standing up.

Suddenly, Axel and Roxas burst through the door, quickly closing it behind them. "Shush!" Axel shouts, telling everyone to be quiet. The sound of people running past is heard outside, then it is quiet once more. "…Okay, we're good," he says, walking in and looking for a place to sit. "…I miss the mansion," he says, giving up and sitting on the floor.

"Well, then this will annoy you," Storm says, walking downstairs to greet them. "Grey didn't just attack the mansion, he nearly obliterated it. Even with all my magic, it'll take a while before the mansion is a safe living place again."

The group groans as Storm cracks his knuckles and lifts his hands. He speaks in a magical language (pig latin) and the room grows to a hugs size. "…Where did you learn that!?" Bane asks, checking out the large home.

"Hogwarts," Storm replies. "Nice place. We should really go there sometime."

"…Nah," Bane says, walking up to a wall and smacking it. It then smacks him back with a wall lamp and the wall opens. "Back in a bit," he says, walking in as the wall closes behind him.

…**Well, we're back!**

**Bane: And, more importantly, **_**I'm**_** back!**

…**Yup. Be ready, people! I'm preparing a special chapter for the upcoming Fourth of July! …Some of you may know this as Independence Day!**

**Bane: Not to be confused with the movie.**

**Quite right. So, people of Fanfictionocity, I demand your reviews! I must have them, and I demand you give them to me now! **_**NOW!**_

**Bane: …You'll have to excuse him, he… He writes this story… It does something to him… yeah.**

…**Who's signing off?**

**Grey: GO! *leaves***

…**How'd he get here?**


End file.
